Reviews from

The Tor

Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "The Summit"
Adventures around & upon a hill

9 total reviews 
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
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This was an exciting chapter, Liz. At last they've made it up the difficult part of the climb. I like the sound of flutes and harps. Well done.

One spag: "Some of you may already (may) be aware of yours." - remove extra may

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
    Thank you for your loyal review. There is one more chapter where healing, restored balance and change in perspective finally occur.
reply by Judy Lawless on 01-Nov-2022
    You?re most welcome, Liz.
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
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I liked that you used "schlep." I can't imagine wanting to dance in the labyrinth, but I understand it. Thanks for continuing to share this story, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
    Thank you for your loyal review. There is one more chapter where healing, restored balance and change in perspective finally occur.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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This is starting to get intense. Something is going to happen, I know. There must be some miracles that occur with the crossing of the ley lines. I'm ready!

A few things:

"... and shook their heads in a 'no' gesture. [This is not needed. "To nod" is indicative of yes... "To shake one's head" indicates no.]

You might want to look into your timing of the trek up to the labyrinth. It appeared to move too fast. You might expand the time by introducing more dialogue between the people, show some "mile-stones" along the way, or the passage from day to night or vice-versa. I wouldn't have taken it to be more than half an hour based on the cues you gave. And yet it should have been much longer.

To me, you've come so far in this novel from the earlier parts that seemed scattered and hard for me to follow. Over time I've invested emotionally win the characters. I'll be sad when it is over.

Jay






 Comment Written 31-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
    Thank you for your loyal review. There is one more chapter where healing, restored balance and change in perspective finally occur.
reply by Jay Squires on 01-Nov-2022
    I will be there with bells on, Liz!

    Jay
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
    Yay
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
    Have you read that chapter already? Remember what you said. A bit of a foreshadowing
reply by Jay Squires on 01-Nov-2022
    Have I read what chapter?
    Jay
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
    The final chapter ...teasing you when you mention bells. There are bells in the last chapter...lol
reply by Jay Squires on 01-Nov-2022
    Haha, gotcha!
Comment from aryr
Excellent
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This was a great continuation chapter, Liz. Your words were astonishing to say the least. I am so glad that they reached the labyrinth which they all so deeply graved. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessings n Hugs!

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
    Thank you for your loyal review. There is one more chapter where healing, restored balance and change in perspective finally occur.
reply by aryr on 01-Nov-2022
    You are most welcome, Liz, I eagerly await the next chapter.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
    ***Smile***
Comment from Mabaker12
Excellent
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I love following these girls on their adventure, though like everything connected to that period in History, they were wisely taking caution along and not just 'jumping in blindly. Another well written chapter Liz. You paint the working together of the girls well. Keep it up dearest. Anne

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
    Thank you for your loyal review. There is one more chapter where healing, restored balance and change in perspective finally occur.
Comment from lyenochka
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Cool picture and I really liked Evelyn's instruction to pay attention to the heart rate. This parallels the crossing of the ley lines - that there is both a physical and spiritual reality to be aware of in this walk. I also liked the fun verbs such as "slog" for "slow jog" and "chin-point." You mention schlep in your notes but I didn't find it in the post.

The women who had just descending the stairless (descended)

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
    Thank you for your loyal review. There is one more chapter where healing, restored balance and change in perspective finally occur. Schlep is misspelled, but Cordelia is glad decided not to schlep the harps to the top.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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Most of the story was well-written and it was clear what they were doing. Only one paragraph was awkward. You might want to try this: I was sensing a bit of sadness as we prepared to bid adieu to friends we would never see again, at least not in this lifetime anyway. Balboa(. S)adly . . .

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2022
    Thank you for your loyal review. There is one more chapter where healing, restored balance and change in perspective finally occur.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, your ladies seem to have got over having to analyse their trauma, rather like Mary and company recovered from their physical signs of aggression. I think given their age you could have used the physical effort of climbing to write a more gripping description. Try it, using your wonderful knowledge of sound. Kate xx

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2022
    Thank you for your involved review. I am focused more on finishing the book. The next chap & final chapter will be the final processing & healing.
Comment from strandregs
Excellent
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Wow, I managed to read it all.
Heart rate. I recall older people should not exert over 110 sistolic.i guess double 120 would do as well.
That was a groysey shlep indeed.
Point of interest.
I stretched both knee ligaments climbing up a steep mountain like that when I was 21.
And got inflamed knees.
The orthopedic Dr. Said no more running for you.
He was right.
I love running . I ran regularly from age 13.
Stopping was more painful than my hernia operation Liz :-))Z.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2022
    Thank you for your involved review. I used to jog/slog 6 mi. Now, my Maine Coon cat & I slog .6 of a mile. He runs ahead, then lays in the traffickless dirt road waiting for me, then gets us & essentially says we're going farther. I feel badly for your physical painful situations. Ooof. I don't even remember how we got to the top of the Tor in real life. I was 50+. Maybe I blocked it out...bwaaa.