Lingering Devotion Part-2
First time meeting.35 total reviews
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Ahhh, how sad!!! It got steamy and there was almost a chance but then it got away from the writer before he got a chance to catch her. I loved this romantic story and the terribly sad ending. This spoke about the lost chances we all have had and how it sneaks away when we least expect it to. Thanks for tearing my heart out with love-struck romance. This is entertaining and enjoyable to read.
Jesse
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
  |
Ahhh, how sad!!! It got steamy and there was almost a chance but then it got away from the writer before he got a chance to catch her. I loved this romantic story and the terribly sad ending. This spoke about the lost chances we all have had and how it sneaks away when we least expect it to. Thanks for tearing my heart out with love-struck romance. This is entertaining and enjoyable to read.
Jesse
Comment Written 14-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
-
Thank you so much, Jesse, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. I wrote part one as a stand alone piece, but now that I've broken all our hearts, I think there should be one last chapter. I just haven't decided whether to tug harder on the heartstrings or give us something to cheer about. I'm glad you liked it. Much appreciated!
-
Either way, I look forward to reading it.
I love romantic stories with a twist ending!
Jesse
Comment from lyenochka
Oh no! I thought you had a relationship? Does the wedding not take place? The whole story keeps making us wish for something and then get disappointed. Was the spare bedroom thing a test that you passed with flying colors to each other's disappointment?
One typo:
"Awe, mighty sure of yourself there (Aw, or Aww) Awe is a noun meaning wonder etc.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
 |
Oh no! I thought you had a relationship? Does the wedding not take place? The whole story keeps making us wish for something and then get disappointed. Was the spare bedroom thing a test that you passed with flying colors to each other's disappointment?
One typo:
"Awe, mighty sure of yourself there (Aw, or Aww) Awe is a noun meaning wonder etc.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
-
Thanks, Helen, for the generous review, suggestion, and kind words. I wrote this as a single post, but then was encouraged to add another chapter. Now that there are two, why not three. LOL. I appreciate YOU!
-
Hooray! I am glad it will be a continuing post!
Comment from amahra
Another great installment, Ric. And what a sad poem at the end. Just a few things I loved and noticed below:
"...her bubble butt when she first stood at the bar and made me think . . . Ooh-whee." [LoL!"]
"I jumped up and sprinted to the phone." [hmm...sprinted? How about "scurried"? Sprinted is full speed over a short distance. Scurried is moving hurriedly with quick steps. Sprinting is what you'd do on the street. [I hope you don't think I'm nitpicking] Just have a little trouble seeing someone doing a hundred-yard dash to get to a ringing phone.
"Me neither, I kept thinking about what I wasn't getting. [Love this line. Made me chuckle]
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
|
Another great installment, Ric. And what a sad poem at the end. Just a few things I loved and noticed below:
"...her bubble butt when she first stood at the bar and made me think . . . Ooh-whee." [LoL!"]
"I jumped up and sprinted to the phone." [hmm...sprinted? How about "scurried"? Sprinted is full speed over a short distance. Scurried is moving hurriedly with quick steps. Sprinting is what you'd do on the street. [I hope you don't think I'm nitpicking] Just have a little trouble seeing someone doing a hundred-yard dash to get to a ringing phone.
"Me neither, I kept thinking about what I wasn't getting. [Love this line. Made me chuckle]
Comment Written 13-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
-
Thank you so much, Amahra, for your extra special six-star review, suggestions, and kind words. Scurry makes me think about a squirrel, but as you would know, I do get a little squirrely ever now and then. I have trouble describing running at all. First off, I couldn't out run a fat man in gumboots. But in reality, if you ever see me running, you better find a hiding place, the cops won't be far behind. LOL. I always appreciate you, sweet lady!
-
Hahaha! Ric, You are such a nut. I love your humor.
Comment from John Ciarmello
I loved this part 2, Ric. You certainly made short work of that romance, my friend. I'm not sure what character actually missed the boat. I enjoyed the realism of this. You never disappoint! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
|
I loved this part 2, Ric. You certainly made short work of that romance, my friend. I'm not sure what character actually missed the boat. I enjoyed the realism of this. You never disappoint! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 13-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
-
Thank you so much, John, for your generous review and kind words. I wrote part one as a stand alone post, but now that I've made a part two, maybe a part three will work. LOL. I'm glad you liked it. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from Ulla
Oh dear, that's what you call tough luck. But then again, I'm philosophical about it. It was probably never meant to be. It's a great story and very well written, Ric. I enjoyed reading it. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
|
Oh dear, that's what you call tough luck. But then again, I'm philosophical about it. It was probably never meant to be. It's a great story and very well written, Ric. I enjoyed reading it. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 13-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
-
Thank you so much, Ulla, for your generous review and kind words. I wrote this as a single post, but now that I've added a part two, why not a part three that ends differently. LOL. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Much appreciated!
-
Yeah, why not. Let's see what you can do.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Okay, being a hopeless romantic I never expected that ending. This addition is very well written, and I enjoyed reading. I like this story and hope you continue with Ric's life.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
|
Okay, being a hopeless romantic I never expected that ending. This addition is very well written, and I enjoyed reading. I like this story and hope you continue with Ric's life.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
-
Thank you so much, Barbara, for your generous review and kind words. I intended this to be a single post, but now that I've added part two, I guess there better be at least part three or so. LOL. I'm glad you like it. There is nothing that makes me happier than for those I read and enjoy regularly liking my foolishness. I appreciate YOU!
-
You're writing isn't foolishness. It's very good.
-
I'm just an old guy entertaining himself and hoping I might touch someone else in a small way. Thank you, Barbara! You're a sweetheart of a person!
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Fiction? You made it sound so real, Ric. The tried and true two ships passing in the night. That could really be painful for a couple if it were true love. If she married another I suppose it was not meant to be. Well done, Ric. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
|
Fiction? You made it sound so real, Ric. The tried and true two ships passing in the night. That could really be painful for a couple if it were true love. If she married another I suppose it was not meant to be. Well done, Ric. Nancy:)
Comment Written 13-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
-
Thank you so much, Nancy, for your generous review and kind words. Like so much fiction, there is always some elements of truth in it all. Of course, I'm not going to tell you what and how much. LOL. I'm glad you like it. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from damommy
That was tacky. Why did she lead you on when she had other plans? I think you dodged the bullet with this one. Anyone like that is not to be trusted. Ever!
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
|
That was tacky. Why did she lead you on when she had other plans? I think you dodged the bullet with this one. Anyone like that is not to be trusted. Ever!
Comment Written 13-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
-
Thank you so much, Yvonne, for you generous review and kind words. Luckily, the story doesn't end here. It was supposed to be a single post, but now that I've added chapter two, I guess I might as well give you more. LOL. Much appreciated!
-
Looking forward to more.
Comment from Susan Newell
Ric,
This is a good closing for your two-part story. Two ships passing in the night. Sometimes it happens. It does sound a lot more like lust than love. :-) Oh, I forgot . . . men can't tell the difference. :-) Notes follow.
Sue
We walked around to the side door, and I held it open, as she unlocked it. -- Wouldn't she have to unlock it before you could open it?
This section has comments following:
"Tony, and bad enough that my mother called me . . . she said he's been asking for me." David threw on his clothes in a whirlwind.
"I'm only taking the basics. I'll be back by next week . . . are you just going to stay here?"
"Sure, this place will be deserted in two weeks when all the tourists leave for the season and students head back to school. Then, it'll be six-months before the crowds come back."
"I thought you were going to spend last night with your new gal-pal, Lori?" David teased with a little smart-alecky chuckle.
-- I lost track of speakers during this exchange. I would start a new paragraph for David getting dressed. --then it reads as though in the next two paragraphs Ric is both asking and answering the question.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
|
Ric,
This is a good closing for your two-part story. Two ships passing in the night. Sometimes it happens. It does sound a lot more like lust than love. :-) Oh, I forgot . . . men can't tell the difference. :-) Notes follow.
Sue
We walked around to the side door, and I held it open, as she unlocked it. -- Wouldn't she have to unlock it before you could open it?
This section has comments following:
"Tony, and bad enough that my mother called me . . . she said he's been asking for me." David threw on his clothes in a whirlwind.
"I'm only taking the basics. I'll be back by next week . . . are you just going to stay here?"
"Sure, this place will be deserted in two weeks when all the tourists leave for the season and students head back to school. Then, it'll be six-months before the crowds come back."
"I thought you were going to spend last night with your new gal-pal, Lori?" David teased with a little smart-alecky chuckle.
-- I lost track of speakers during this exchange. I would start a new paragraph for David getting dressed. --then it reads as though in the next two paragraphs Ric is both asking and answering the question.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
-
Thanks for reading and reviewing. As for holding the door open, I intended to show me holding the storm door open so she could unlock the main door. I guess, that I'm just lucky that everyone hasn't seemed to get lost in the same places as you. But thanks for pointing them out and I'll see what I can do to make them easier for those who might struggle to figure out. Appreciate your time!
-
Ric,
You are very welcome. I guess it's in my nature to be a stickler. I sort of intuited "storm door" but wished you had included it.
Sue
-
We walked around to the side door, and I held the security door open, as she unlocked the main and deadbolt. I change this part. Now I'll check into the others. I'm just not the type who likes to spell everything out for people, when I'd rather let them have something to do. LOL. Thanks
Comment from Judy Lawless
Awe, such a romantic, Ric. I know it's fiction but you make it sound so real. I'm surprised Lori didn't wait when she'd been trying to keep in touch, as did the narrator. Anyway, I'm sorry it didn't work out. Very well written.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
|
Awe, such a romantic, Ric. I know it's fiction but you make it sound so real. I'm surprised Lori didn't wait when she'd been trying to keep in touch, as did the narrator. Anyway, I'm sorry it didn't work out. Very well written.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
-
Thank you so much, Judy, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. As in life, sometimes things don't work out like we want them to. But don't give up, this started as a single post, but now that I've added the second chapter, why not a third. LOL. Thank for always putting a smile on my face with your kindness. I appreciate YOU!
-
You're most welcome, Ric. It's true life doesn't always work out the way you plan, in fact it seldom does. :) I hope I can catch your next posts.
