Man in the Mirror
flash fiction13 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Yikes! Well, that was a surprising ending! I liked all the preparations for the surprise ending. There is all kinds of reasons for Erik/Christine to have been in a mental state that could have led to that suicide.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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Yikes! Well, that was a surprising ending! I liked all the preparations for the surprise ending. There is all kinds of reasons for Erik/Christine to have been in a mental state that could have led to that suicide.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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Thanks for giving this a look, Helen.
Comment from Rena Smith
This is a really great story and it really surprised me in the end. It was sad and sometimes when we look in the mirror, unfortunately, a person doesn't like themselves because of who they've become. This was a great story and great job writing it.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
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This is a really great story and it really surprised me in the end. It was sad and sometimes when we look in the mirror, unfortunately, a person doesn't like themselves because of who they've become. This was a great story and great job writing it.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Rena.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This was certainly a surprising piece. Not only the ending, rather the whole piece. I found it rather like reading through a kaleidoscope. Some pieces were easy to interpret, others more complex. Much enjoyed. Kate xx
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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This was certainly a surprising piece. Not only the ending, rather the whole piece. I found it rather like reading through a kaleidoscope. Some pieces were easy to interpret, others more complex. Much enjoyed. Kate xx
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Kate
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Okay, that certainly did surprise me! Just as I'm thinking, "Why is Erik her killer when she shoots him?" Then, bam! Gotcha:-)
There was a forewarning, with mention of the strike, the virus . . . I wasn't sure who the phantom was - Erik? Having the lock broken made us think someone had broken in to harm the actress. Nice idea.
Your writing is so descriptive - I especially liked "having removed the countenance of the last character" and "her accessories and essences had been set, haphazardly".
I'm glad that I have one last six to give - I think you've got a winner here.
Pam
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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Okay, that certainly did surprise me! Just as I'm thinking, "Why is Erik her killer when she shoots him?" Then, bam! Gotcha:-)
There was a forewarning, with mention of the strike, the virus . . . I wasn't sure who the phantom was - Erik? Having the lock broken made us think someone had broken in to harm the actress. Nice idea.
Your writing is so descriptive - I especially liked "having removed the countenance of the last character" and "her accessories and essences had been set, haphazardly".
I'm glad that I have one last six to give - I think you've got a winner here.
Pam
Comment Written 15-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much, Pam.
Comment from Wendy G
Well done. Yes, that ending was a total surprise! You wrote very well. Personally I would leave out the creaking door. I'd just say that 'as she looked closely into the mirror she saw someone who she recognised straight away - and she could tell by the eyes that he was planning to kill her.' Or something similar.
Wendy
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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Well done. Yes, that ending was a total surprise! You wrote very well. Personally I would leave out the creaking door. I'd just say that 'as she looked closely into the mirror she saw someone who she recognised straight away - and she could tell by the eyes that he was planning to kill her.' Or something similar.
Wendy
Comment Written 15-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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I see your point, Wendy. Thanks for the suggestion.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
. . . .the reason? Christine/Erik were at odds with himself/herself, Mystery
Author. S/He couldn't accept the two personalities that lived
within him/her. One had to go. But it ended up both were gone
as planned. You did a great job with your contest entry. You gave
readers much to think about.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, jan
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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. . . .the reason? Christine/Erik were at odds with himself/herself, Mystery
Author. S/He couldn't accept the two personalities that lived
within him/her. One had to go. But it ended up both were gone
as planned. You did a great job with your contest entry. You gave
readers much to think about.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, jan
Comment Written 14-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Jan
Comment from Mario PIERRE
This is a great story. I was Surprised, shocked and delighted by the ending. Didn't see it happen! Great story and writing style. Good Luck for the contest
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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This is a great story. I was Surprised, shocked and delighted by the ending. Didn't see it happen! Great story and writing style. Good Luck for the contest
Comment Written 14-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Mario
Comment from jessizero
I appreciate your surprise ending. The story built up beautifully, then pulled the rug from under the reader swiftly. You accomplished much in these few words. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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I appreciate your surprise ending. The story built up beautifully, then pulled the rug from under the reader swiftly. You accomplished much in these few words. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Jessizero
Comment from Mary Shifman
Outstanding flash fiction. I can very often figure out who the antagonist is in a story but this one surprised me. It's not easy to do in such a short piece. Very well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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Outstanding flash fiction. I can very often figure out who the antagonist is in a story but this one surprised me. It's not easy to do in such a short piece. Very well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Mary, for the super review.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Wow! I had to review this to find out what was what. The text is a great size. The story's plot was clear to me until the end. Was the person in the mirror removing the make-up also Erik? Did he kill himself because he saw his reflection as a man? Or was the killer and the person removing the make-up two separate people? Please share what your intentions were. It was a good read until the surprise ending. The visual fits okay but adds to my confusion. LOL Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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Wow! I had to review this to find out what was what. The text is a great size. The story's plot was clear to me until the end. Was the person in the mirror removing the make-up also Erik? Did he kill himself because he saw his reflection as a man? Or was the killer and the person removing the make-up two separate people? Please share what your intentions were. It was a good read until the surprise ending. The visual fits okay but adds to my confusion. LOL Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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Erik and Christine are the same person. The challenge requires a surprise ending.
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Praise be that's what I thought but being an avid reader, I wanted to be sure. You for sure unknown writer had the surprise sauce in your writing. Well-done!
