Victorian Matchstick Girl
A quatern for the picture this club14 total reviews
Comment from Debbie Pope
What a haunting image and poem. And, I love your line "Someday I'll be in bed by eight." What a simple dream, but for these poor children, many would never enjoy such a blessing.
Thank you for writing this one. We need to treasure our young ones and never expose them dangers.
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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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What a haunting image and poem. And, I love your line "Someday I'll be in bed by eight." What a simple dream, but for these poor children, many would never enjoy such a blessing.
Thank you for writing this one. We need to treasure our young ones and never expose them dangers.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this piece. I appreciate your empathetic feedback.
Comment from Douglas Goff
That is a hauntingly beautiful picture to accompany a hauntingly beautiful poem.
I had no idea where you were going with this. I was thinking ghost. Nice twist at the end to bring in a historical theme.
Missing a space here after the comma:
Protect the children,"they demand.
Also just a suggestion. Consider the word can't in place of ' I can wait'
Seems more childlike.
Great work Master Poet. Loved this piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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That is a hauntingly beautiful picture to accompany a hauntingly beautiful poem.
I had no idea where you were going with this. I was thinking ghost. Nice twist at the end to bring in a historical theme.
Missing a space here after the comma:
Protect the children,"they demand.
Also just a suggestion. Consider the word can't in place of ' I can wait'
Seems more childlike.
Great work Master Poet. Loved this piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this piece. I appreciate your empathetic feedback. And I applied your suggestion.
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I re-read it. Dang you are a Master Poet! You created a wonderful piece here. Very nice work indeed.
Comment from Frank Malley
"Victorian Matchstick Girl" is an exceptional poem that restates its line of hope repeatedly in each stanza, but one line further down amongst the four lines each stanza contains. The design and meter are perfect in this poem about suffering made tolerable by the promise of a different life. Many of the lines in this poem are exceptionally composed. Eg., "The moon above, my constant friend,/ will keep me safe and sound till then." Or, "Those rich young ladies dressed in silk/who sip exotic tea with milk."
This poem's gentle tone infuses the character's musing with hope, and makes it distinct from angry poetry so often associated with social reform.
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"Victorian Matchstick Girl" is an exceptional poem that restates its line of hope repeatedly in each stanza, but one line further down amongst the four lines each stanza contains. The design and meter are perfect in this poem about suffering made tolerable by the promise of a different life. Many of the lines in this poem are exceptionally composed. Eg., "The moon above, my constant friend,/ will keep me safe and sound till then." Or, "Those rich young ladies dressed in silk/who sip exotic tea with milk."
This poem's gentle tone infuses the character's musing with hope, and makes it distinct from angry poetry so often associated with social reform.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
Comment from zanya
Wow - what an interesting response to the prompt - a modern day version of the matchstick girl -flowing, rhythmic lines here to jolt the reader into the reality of 'New labor laws will set things straight'- let's hope so- a superb pic to illustrate
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Wow - what an interesting response to the prompt - a modern day version of the matchstick girl -flowing, rhythmic lines here to jolt the reader into the reality of 'New labor laws will set things straight'- let's hope so- a superb pic to illustrate
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
