Reviews from

Long John Flanco

John rode many times for the American army...

24 total reviews 
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Interesting account of an achievement that deserves recognition! It was an amazing accomplishment, considering the climate and the terrain. It does seem rather more fact than fiction.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
    thank you so much it was a bit of both
Comment from Rachel Jamerson1
Excellent
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Quite a tale of the commitment and determination of one man. He risked his own life to save the lives of others. Real or fiction it is a beautiful example of the determination of the human spirit.

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
    thank you so much
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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It's an interesting read and I took it all on board. He was not be a very known person , but I can see that you've done your homework. I wish you all the best in the contest.Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
    thank you so much
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
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This was a well enacted tale of Juan Flacos ride over tumultuous terrain over a five day period. I found the writing a bit choppy and sometimes difficult to piece together.

But all in all a good western story got the entry in the contest.

Best of luck. John

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 01-Dec-2022
    I agree, I had a bit of trouble with this one, when I deleted a few things rec I realized it didn't sound the same, after contest, it will be rewritten, thank you for your honesty
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I just looked him up, you're right, he did exist, and although he didn't have the affect of Paul Revere, yet his ride was more eventful in its duration than Paul Revere's, it certainly was an epic, but unrewarded too. A most enjoyable literary ride, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : doing(t) his will.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2022
    Thank you I?ll fix the typo
reply by royowen on 01-Dec-2022
    Welcome
Comment from Terry Broxson
Excellent
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You have written a well-told story about a fella that is a footnote in history. If I understand the rules of the contest, it needs to be 2.000 words or more. I am not sure where you are on the word count. You have it posted as fiction, but it certainly reads as nonfiction. Excellent job. Good luck. Terry.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2022
    thank you so much for your help, when I edited it words dropped out,
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
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This was quite a story and a long ride with little gain.
This Western Contest Entry was rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with No Grammar Issues.
Good luck with your contest entry.
Doctor Ricky1024

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2022
    thank you so much
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Hi Grace, this is a wonderful story, but unless you do some editing, and add another 200 words, it will be disqualified, and that would be a shame. You keep changing Flanco (title name) to Flaco. Then Flanco will appear again, immediately followed by Flaco. This takes the attention away from the story. You are an excellent novelist, but this one needs to be increased in length and his name spelt the same all the way through. It will be worth the effort. Well done, Sandra xx

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2022
    thank you so much, I edited several times, and I took out a lot, now, I short I went back but hate to mess with it anymore, thank you
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 30-Nov-2022
    I know what you mean, I'm the same, I entered a few contests and so many were disqualified for the same reason. It's so annoying, isn't it. Especially as I think you have a winner here. I don't know how long you have, but it's worth a try. It's such a good story! xxx
Comment from Thomas Blanks
Excellent
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Thank you for sharing the story of Long John Flanco. It is not surprising that he died in obscurity. History is written by winners and generally not about those who made no impact. For example, Franklin D. Roosevelt was the only man elected President of the United States four times. Many people can tell you that. Who did he defeat in those elections? Darn few could respond correctly...Hoover, Landon, Willkie, Dewey.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2022
    thank you so much,
Comment from giraffmang
Average
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi there,

you might want to recheck your word count here. It needs to be a minimum of 2000 words to qualify for consideration and this comes in a couple of hundred words short of that.

I also noticed that the name isn't spelt the same the entire way through. in some places the last name is Flanco and in others Flaco. This needs to be consistent.

It would have been better, I feel, if this had have been an original tale rather than a regurgitation of the facts. The writing feels very matter-of-fact, as if recounting in a text book. I do think you could have injected a lot more feeling and emotion into the piece.

To label this as purely fiction is somewhat misleading.

All the best
GMG

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 30-Nov-2022
    working on word count and I see I did edit and take a lot out at the beginning of my post, so I need to go back and fix, thank you for you help. and I know it sounds fiction, and most is the truth, I usually take my stories from events, and put my imagination on it, I found my first edits were that my accounts were all true and I took it out, which the work count is wrong, lol, but I need to put it back thank you for reminding me of that