Just Another Day
Daily Life in the USA24 total reviews
Comment from RodG
You have written a comprehensive political commentary in only seventeen syllables. Sadly, I have to agree with all you say about our country and our Congressmen. What we need to see is a NEW generation of leaders with vision and determination. Rod
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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You have written a comprehensive political commentary in only seventeen syllables. Sadly, I have to agree with all you say about our country and our Congressmen. What we need to see is a NEW generation of leaders with vision and determination. Rod
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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I thank you for the review. I agree we need a new generation of leaders.
Comment from Dawn Munro
This is a powerful senryu, and although the format is most often used for humor and the human condition, sometimes the human condition benefits from the use of a small poetic form, such as this -- a true gut-punch. You've chosen the topic well, IMO, and your presentation is stellar.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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This is a powerful senryu, and although the format is most often used for humor and the human condition, sometimes the human condition benefits from the use of a small poetic form, such as this -- a true gut-punch. You've chosen the topic well, IMO, and your presentation is stellar.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for your generous review.
Comment from Celyn
This is a very stark and emotive poem that fulfills the requirements of a senryu well. It is rather depressing but, as I do not live in America, I cannot make any comment on how truthful it is. I hope that it is looking on the dark side rather than being absolutely true.
Good luck with it anyway
Celyn
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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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This is a very stark and emotive poem that fulfills the requirements of a senryu well. It is rather depressing but, as I do not live in America, I cannot make any comment on how truthful it is. I hope that it is looking on the dark side rather than being absolutely true.
Good luck with it anyway
Celyn
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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Thank you for your review. It's dark reality here.
Comment from Frank Malley
Unless one has signed onto a political position, extreme statements can cause immediate critical responses. Yes, guns are an American problem, and I suppose it's natural to move to a strongly-felt position about who should be allowed to arm themselves with lethal weapons. A seventeen syllable, three-line poem that starts out with "Slaughter is our norm" may decry a serious problem in our civilization, but the assertion made is statistically ridiculous; even though gunshot deaths in America may be the most numerous in the world, in a life of many decades I have never personally experienced the impact of a gun assault or accident, and I don't think many of the hundreds of people I have known well have experienced this either. This poem's author has selected rage rather than understanding, and rage is rarely a solution.
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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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Unless one has signed onto a political position, extreme statements can cause immediate critical responses. Yes, guns are an American problem, and I suppose it's natural to move to a strongly-felt position about who should be allowed to arm themselves with lethal weapons. A seventeen syllable, three-line poem that starts out with "Slaughter is our norm" may decry a serious problem in our civilization, but the assertion made is statistically ridiculous; even though gunshot deaths in America may be the most numerous in the world, in a life of many decades I have never personally experienced the impact of a gun assault or accident, and I don't think many of the hundreds of people I have known well have experienced this either. This poem's author has selected rage rather than understanding, and rage is rarely a solution.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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I don't disagree with your comments or perspective. However, this is a 17-syllable, three lined poem and does not allow the nuances a piece of prose, a story or essay would allow. A senryu is to describe an emotion and not several. Gave some thought to what you shared and changed the word slaughter to killings. A senryu on FS whether negative or not will never be a solution.
