I See the Seafoam
The tsunami in Lituya Bay from the ocean's point of view.43 total reviews
Comment from estory
You show a degree of talent in writing this poem, especially for someone just starting out. I liked the honesty in the voice, the subtle display of emotion, the command of the rhythm and meter, and the interesting, surreal imagery. You paint a picture of the power of nature spinning out of control, sending the sea out of its bounds and into the streets. I really liked the first stanza. You have this great image of the waves of the sea reaching for people hanging on to the beach for dear life. There's a great feeling of desperation that you created there. A feeling that the world is getting beyond our control. estory
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You show a degree of talent in writing this poem, especially for someone just starting out. I liked the honesty in the voice, the subtle display of emotion, the command of the rhythm and meter, and the interesting, surreal imagery. You paint a picture of the power of nature spinning out of control, sending the sea out of its bounds and into the streets. I really liked the first stanza. You have this great image of the waves of the sea reaching for people hanging on to the beach for dear life. There's a great feeling of desperation that you created there. A feeling that the world is getting beyond our control. estory
Comment Written 14-Dec-2022
Comment from papa55mike
The sea and wind are powerful forces to be reckoned with and if you hear the warnings, run. What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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The sea and wind are powerful forces to be reckoned with and if you hear the warnings, run. What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 12-Dec-2022
Comment from Frank Malley
"I See the Seafoam" is a thoughtful poem in which the sea and its shore-shaping waves is used to represent observations really made about people. I think "Liberty/is waves of an ocean" is a embodies a paradox that may not favor the sense of the poem; waves have no liberty and are free only to obey the physics that create their behavior. I think the first line perhaps should be 'Enslavement,' on the basis of my understanding.
I think the force of this poem could be more keenly focused to express the power of this mindless phenomenon of ocean. This would also have made the tsunami suggested within the last stanza more powerful. However, I detect a tone of resignation in the voice of this poem, and perhaps acceptance is more what the author advocates than strength and resistance.
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"I See the Seafoam" is a thoughtful poem in which the sea and its shore-shaping waves is used to represent observations really made about people. I think "Liberty/is waves of an ocean" is a embodies a paradox that may not favor the sense of the poem; waves have no liberty and are free only to obey the physics that create their behavior. I think the first line perhaps should be 'Enslavement,' on the basis of my understanding.
I think the force of this poem could be more keenly focused to express the power of this mindless phenomenon of ocean. This would also have made the tsunami suggested within the last stanza more powerful. However, I detect a tone of resignation in the voice of this poem, and perhaps acceptance is more what the author advocates than strength and resistance.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2022
Comment from Goodadvicechan
The picture is a good choice. It matches with the following sentence.
"The tide by moons
that pull attention
for better or worse
pulls it back
Into the endless sea
for worse--by force. "
I like this sentence. It describes very well how forceful the waves can be. This scenes makes me feel scared about nature's damages... death.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece.
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The picture is a good choice. It matches with the following sentence.
"The tide by moons
that pull attention
for better or worse
pulls it back
Into the endless sea
for worse--by force. "
I like this sentence. It describes very well how forceful the waves can be. This scenes makes me feel scared about nature's damages... death.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2022
Comment from Aussie
Well written and very descriptive of a Tsunami. Starting under the sea as the tectonic plates shift. Years ago one hit Indonesia, killed 2,000 people and many washed out to sea.
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Well written and very descriptive of a Tsunami. Starting under the sea as the tectonic plates shift. Years ago one hit Indonesia, killed 2,000 people and many washed out to sea.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2022
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is a very different free verse, very descriptive and written from the POV of the ocean. In particular the second verse
the arms scrape against grains of sand
Very well written, a great free verse.
Cheers
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This is a very different free verse, very descriptive and written from the POV of the ocean. In particular the second verse
the arms scrape against grains of sand
Very well written, a great free verse.
Cheers
Comment Written 07-Dec-2022
Comment from Douglas Goff
Wonderful poem! The color scheme and photo ably added to an already great presentation. This was my favorite line:
Crashing onto the beach,
it reaches with wet arms
holding onto the earth
for dear life.
Poignant imagery.
Thanks for sharing!
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Wonderful poem! The color scheme and photo ably added to an already great presentation. This was my favorite line:
Crashing onto the beach,
it reaches with wet arms
holding onto the earth
for dear life.
Poignant imagery.
Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2022
Comment from Sally Law
What a beautifully penned and illustrated poem in seafoam blue. I love the ocean and live near it. It has become my family's special place since I can remember. The salt and sea seem to cling to everything! Marvelous writing, Thomas.
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for your writing endeavors,
Sally :))
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What a beautifully penned and illustrated poem in seafoam blue. I love the ocean and live near it. It has become my family's special place since I can remember. The salt and sea seem to cling to everything! Marvelous writing, Thomas.
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for your writing endeavors,
Sally :))
Comment Written 07-Dec-2022
Comment from Wendy G
A terrifying ending with the tsunami sand the resultant salty good- byes. The increasing power and force of the waves, from a relatively calm beginning is described well.
Well done.
Wendy
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A terrifying ending with the tsunami sand the resultant salty good- byes. The increasing power and force of the waves, from a relatively calm beginning is described well.
Well done.
Wendy
Comment Written 07-Dec-2022
Comment from Sanku
There is an ominous tone to the last stanza .You have described the sea and its behaviour and a kind of warning/prediction that 'dreamers with tough seismic schemers ' would see the sea rising and 'salt goodbyes' very effective
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There is an ominous tone to the last stanza .You have described the sea and its behaviour and a kind of warning/prediction that 'dreamers with tough seismic schemers ' would see the sea rising and 'salt goodbyes' very effective
Comment Written 07-Dec-2022
