Conversation with the Gatekeeper
One last call3 total reviews
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is quite a funny last phone call. I'm not sure I would have made that particular call in front of St. Peter but then I guess it's all on the record anyway! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2022
This is quite a funny last phone call. I'm not sure I would have made that particular call in front of St. Peter but then I guess it's all on the record anyway! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2022
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Thanks
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You are welcome.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Time was short, and you used your words well. The dialogue is succinct and humorous and tells an entire story. The one phone call the protagonist has does not go to his wife. Well done. Best wishes in the contest.
Note:
"They'll be a charge." (change to there will be a charge, or there'll be a charge)
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
Time was short, and you used your words well. The dialogue is succinct and humorous and tells an entire story. The one phone call the protagonist has does not go to his wife. Well done. Best wishes in the contest.
Note:
"They'll be a charge." (change to there will be a charge, or there'll be a charge)
Comment Written 02-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Duh. I should have done better. Cannot go the first way for the word count will be plus one and wonder is there'll is a word. Oh well. Yes, I make a note to it.
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent. This is a great entry for the contest.
I liked St. Peter's voice and attitude throughout.
Also, a nice twist you added when the deceased called
Nancy's House of Joy. I didn't see that coming.
Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers, John
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
Excellent. This is a great entry for the contest.
I liked St. Peter's voice and attitude throughout.
Also, a nice twist you added when the deceased called
Nancy's House of Joy. I didn't see that coming.
Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers, John
Comment Written 02-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Neither did I see it coming until it came. My mind has a mind of its own. I only rent thoughts from it. :-)