Jesus loves.
Poem 5/7/511 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
This is a very nice and very well written entry for the Poetic Scripture contest. You used very good descriptive and very true words. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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This is a very nice and very well written entry for the Poetic Scripture contest. You used very good descriptive and very true words. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 09-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Great review zanya
Comment from Celyn
This is a good representation of the wedding at Cana story from the Bible as it says that the wine Jesus produced was the good stuff. I like the way you have framed this subject as a haiku fits it well. The poem reads well and makes the story slightly amusing as well as wondrous.
Good luck with it
Celyn
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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This is a good representation of the wedding at Cana story from the Bible as it says that the wine Jesus produced was the good stuff. I like the way you have framed this subject as a haiku fits it well. The poem reads well and makes the story slightly amusing as well as wondrous.
Good luck with it
Celyn
Comment Written 09-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Great review zanya
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, Jesus Loves, has the proper formatting and reminds us that Jesus gives us not only what we need, but the finest of what we would be available. Noting the difference is seeing how God fills us fully to meet the world.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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This 5-7-5, Jesus Loves, has the proper formatting and reminds us that Jesus gives us not only what we need, but the finest of what we would be available. Noting the difference is seeing how God fills us fully to meet the world.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Thanks for reading zanya
Comment from susand3022
Hello Author,
Your 5-7-5 has the correct syllable count. However, and it's probably just me, but I prefer it when a line can stand more or less by itself in a poem like this. Your second line 'reads' into your third like a sentence.
This works well in a form like Free Verse, and I know that some use it at other times, but poetry is about conveying ideas without using sentences the way you do in prose.
I would normally give you suggestions to fix your own poem here, but it's a contest so I don't know if I should.
Here's an example I got online:
small child ignores call,
parent warns and begins count,
"Daddy, don't say fwee."
You can see that each line can stand on its own, but together they create a picture of what's happening. See if you can modify to make something like that.
Good luck in the contest
Susan :)
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Hello Author,
Your 5-7-5 has the correct syllable count. However, and it's probably just me, but I prefer it when a line can stand more or less by itself in a poem like this. Your second line 'reads' into your third like a sentence.
This works well in a form like Free Verse, and I know that some use it at other times, but poetry is about conveying ideas without using sentences the way you do in prose.
I would normally give you suggestions to fix your own poem here, but it's a contest so I don't know if I should.
Here's an example I got online:
small child ignores call,
parent warns and begins count,
"Daddy, don't say fwee."
You can see that each line can stand on its own, but together they create a picture of what's happening. See if you can modify to make something like that.
Good luck in the contest
Susan :)
Comment Written 07-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Great review and suggestions zanya
Comment from Karyn2
Yes! The very best of the wine was served. I think everything Jesus served in life was from and of the best. Something to ponder! Also, that it was served after the guests were well inebriated from the lesser wine. No one expected the best at this time. He loves with his best and I guess so should we!
Thanks for the words in your 5-7-5.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Yes! The very best of the wine was served. I think everything Jesus served in life was from and of the best. Something to ponder! Also, that it was served after the guests were well inebriated from the lesser wine. No one expected the best at this time. He loves with his best and I guess so should we!
Thanks for the words in your 5-7-5.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Thanks for a great reveiw zanya
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fine write about this ancient biblical story and I enjoyed your short version here and wish you luck with the contest, a miracle indeed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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A fine write about this ancient biblical story and I enjoyed your short version here and wish you luck with the contest, a miracle indeed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Great review zanya
Comment from RodG
This is an atypical scripture I did not expect to read about in this contest. Yet it is so suitable and you summarized very well in only seventeen syllables what Jesus did at Cana. Rod
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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This is an atypical scripture I did not expect to read about in this contest. Yet it is so suitable and you summarized very well in only seventeen syllables what Jesus did at Cana. Rod
Comment Written 06-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Thanks for reading and a great review zanya
Comment from royowen
Yes, indeed I had to look up Grand Cru to ascertain that the wine was of superior quality, one would have to know that, because I was au fait with the scripture. I knew the wine was usually served of poor quality, but Jesus made it into superior quality. Well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Suggestion. A guidance of that fact in the notes would be good,
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Yes, indeed I had to look up Grand Cru to ascertain that the wine was of superior quality, one would have to know that, because I was au fait with the scripture. I knew the wine was usually served of poor quality, but Jesus made it into superior quality. Well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Suggestion. A guidance of that fact in the notes would be good,
Comment Written 06-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Great review -p-s-st I did actually include info in the notes! zanya
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Silly me, sorry Zanya
Comment from jmdg1954
Wide range of prices on the Grand Cru as well.
I enjoyed you entry to the contest. It gave me a smile since I was expecting something serious and thought provoking.
Good change of pace.
Cheers, John
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Wide range of prices on the Grand Cru as well.
I enjoyed you entry to the contest. It gave me a smile since I was expecting something serious and thought provoking.
Good change of pace.
Cheers, John
Comment Written 06-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Thanks for reading zanya
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
Appropriate illustration for the poem. It meets the requirement. Seems an appropriate for time of year. This was no ordinary wine! Makes a valid point.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Appropriate illustration for the poem. It meets the requirement. Seems an appropriate for time of year. This was no ordinary wine! Makes a valid point.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Thanks for reading zanya
