A Baby Soldier Memoir/ entry 3
The orphanage23 total reviews
Comment from kahpot
I like Lev's excuse for being a bad poker player, the story to follow is quite horrible, your explanations and descriptions of Lev's ordeal are gruesome, I can't wait to get to the next chapter, very well written****kahpot
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2023
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I like Lev's excuse for being a bad poker player, the story to follow is quite horrible, your explanations and descriptions of Lev's ordeal are gruesome, I can't wait to get to the next chapter, very well written****kahpot
Comment Written 15-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2023
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Thank you, kahpot for the great review and for returning to read. It is so much appreciated. I'm happy you're following. :)
Comment from Ulla
Hi John, this is an amazing story and it's so very well written. The description of Lev's ordeal was vivid. Again, very well written. Now, you left us on a cliff hanger. Did someone want to murder Lev? I will have to wait and see. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2022
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Hi John, this is an amazing story and it's so very well written. The description of Lev's ordeal was vivid. Again, very well written. Now, you left us on a cliff hanger. Did someone want to murder Lev? I will have to wait and see. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Ulla, for the great review and kind words. I'm happy you're following.
Comment from Douglas Goff
More interesting with each chapter.
A couple of catches:
"I don't know--Maybe."
(maybe)
Lev tapped the deck like a pack of cigarettes on the table and shrugged "Yeah, I guess."
(Period after shrugged)
"A full house?" Lev tossed his cards face down on the pile. "That's Cruddy, Dimitri!"
(Cruddy shouldn't be capitalized.)
Just my two cents. Good work!
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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More interesting with each chapter.
A couple of catches:
"I don't know--Maybe."
(maybe)
Lev tapped the deck like a pack of cigarettes on the table and shrugged "Yeah, I guess."
(Period after shrugged)
"A full house?" Lev tossed his cards face down on the pile. "That's Cruddy, Dimitri!"
(Cruddy shouldn't be capitalized.)
Just my two cents. Good work!
Comment Written 16-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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Your two cents are always welcome and appreciated, Douglas! I'm so happy you're following. I don't get notifications of your work, so I'm going over to read and fan you if you don't mind me jumping on your fan wagon. Thanks again!
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I try to follow the interesting ones and yours has a good story line. Always happy to get another fan!
Comment from irishauthorme
LIfe, yeah tell me! There are too many things that clog us up so we cannot reach in and nourish that little flame or obey that little voice that is telling us to write.
This is a great, but complicated story, made further difficult by your in-depth characters.
The dialogue exchange between Lev and Dimitri was very real, very close to life.
It is difficult to write realistic dialogue, as you do, because too many writers do write dialogue in the same manner in which people speak.
Your story is running like a Dusenberg!
irish
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2022
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LIfe, yeah tell me! There are too many things that clog us up so we cannot reach in and nourish that little flame or obey that little voice that is telling us to write.
This is a great, but complicated story, made further difficult by your in-depth characters.
The dialogue exchange between Lev and Dimitri was very real, very close to life.
It is difficult to write realistic dialogue, as you do, because too many writers do write dialogue in the same manner in which people speak.
Your story is running like a Dusenberg!
irish
Comment Written 16-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2022
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Irish! Lol. I want to thank you for your continued support and for following. Are you posting? If so, I'm not getting notifications of them. I'm going to go back in and friend you again! Anyway, I'm not quite sure how a Dusenberg runs, but if it's running that validation enough, my friend. Happy Holidays to you and yours!
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Hi John, no I have not posted in a while, too much shit going on right now.
Working on some stories, stand by, ok?
irish
Comment from Annmuma
I love the dialogue! It allows the reader to get inside the heads and hearts of the characters. Great work. The paragraphs flow from one to the other and the reader's interest is held tightly. I look forward to the next chapter. ann
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2022
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I love the dialogue! It allows the reader to get inside the heads and hearts of the characters. Great work. The paragraphs flow from one to the other and the reader's interest is held tightly. I look forward to the next chapter. ann
Comment Written 16-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Ann, for the great review and encouraging words. It's always great to hear from you and have you follow. Thanks again!
Comment from Mario PIERRE
Great read!! Beautifully constructed with few but nice and relevant dialogue. Very well tied up together. Maybe the dialogue ( Lev speaking after Dimitri said: you wanted to die?) could be broken up by one-liners from Dimitri, to enable the reader to breathe.
Thanks for the great work!!
Mario
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2022
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Great read!! Beautifully constructed with few but nice and relevant dialogue. Very well tied up together. Maybe the dialogue ( Lev speaking after Dimitri said: you wanted to die?) could be broken up by one-liners from Dimitri, to enable the reader to breathe.
Thanks for the great work!!
Mario
Comment Written 16-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Mario, for the great review and comments. I will revisit that block of dialogue. Perhaps I can lighten it up a bit. Thanks again.
Comment from prettybluebirds
I hope you intend to finish this story soon. It leaves us readers hanging in mid-air. It is a nicely executed story and flawless grammar-wise. We just want to hear the rest of his story.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2022
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I hope you intend to finish this story soon. It leaves us readers hanging in mid-air. It is a nicely executed story and flawless grammar-wise. We just want to hear the rest of his story.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2022
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Thank you for the great review, PBB! I'm working hard to get it out in a reasonable time frame. Thanks again!
Comment from Terry Broxson
John, this is a pretty dark story you got going here. It will be interesting to see where you take it. Are you going to put the chapters in a book, or will they be standalone stories? Good work. Terry.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2022
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John, this is a pretty dark story you got going here. It will be interesting to see where you take it. Are you going to put the chapters in a book, or will they be standalone stories? Good work. Terry.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2022
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I tend to gravitate to the darker side. (not all the time, but that is my go-to. It's not for everyone, and I realize my audience is narrow, but I write because I love it. To me, it makes no sense to write what you don't enjoy writing. Thanks, Terry, for the review.
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You are right, write what you enjoy, and you do write it well.
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Thank you, Terry!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your chapter read well, John. Your words flowed smoothly with
great imagery. I could visualize everything as I read. Wow, six years
in an orphanage is a long time. I believe Dimitri really likes Lev but
doesn't want to give up his macho image Lev may have of him. He's
trying to act so in the know, yet cares about Lev. You described
the card game well. This was a good follow up, but still left readers
wondering about several things which will bring them back for the
next chapter to find out if there are answers.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Your chapter read well, John. Your words flowed smoothly with
great imagery. I could visualize everything as I read. Wow, six years
in an orphanage is a long time. I believe Dimitri really likes Lev but
doesn't want to give up his macho image Lev may have of him. He's
trying to act so in the know, yet cares about Lev. You described
the card game well. This was a good follow up, but still left readers
wondering about several things which will bring them back for the
next chapter to find out if there are answers.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 14-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Jan, for the great review and comments. I'm so happy you're following, Jan! I'm working hard to get this one out quicker, lol. Happy Holidays to you and yours, Jan!
Comment from Shirley McLain
What a story, and I want part three. Are you posting it today by chance? You did a great job with Lev's poker game and telling his story. As I said I want more now! Enjoy your day. Shirley
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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What a story, and I want part three. Are you posting it today by chance? You did a great job with Lev's poker game and telling his story. As I said I want more now! Enjoy your day. Shirley
Comment Written 14-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Shirley, for a great review. I'm working hard on the next post. Thank you for your support and kind words. They are much appreciated.
