A Walk
Back in time.60 total reviews
Comment from estory
The voice is dry cynical, the images are gut wrenching. You have captured the feeling of abandoned resignation that many individuals feel when they are just one kernel in a city of ten million people, lost somewhere in the maze of streets. The grey concrete, the whores on the streetcorners, the empty, dark churches, all these images flash by like silent movie scenes conjuring a vision of lost souls. I was born in Brooklyn and my memories of it were brighter, mostly because of my parents. estory
  |
The voice is dry cynical, the images are gut wrenching. You have captured the feeling of abandoned resignation that many individuals feel when they are just one kernel in a city of ten million people, lost somewhere in the maze of streets. The grey concrete, the whores on the streetcorners, the empty, dark churches, all these images flash by like silent movie scenes conjuring a vision of lost souls. I was born in Brooklyn and my memories of it were brighter, mostly because of my parents. estory
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
Comment from Terry Broxson
Clearly, as a young man, in 1961, you had a great deal of ability to write poetry. Your eye for detail and then the ability to turn it into an image for your readers to understand is excellent. The message is sad. Very well done. Terry.
 |
Clearly, as a young man, in 1961, you had a great deal of ability to write poetry. Your eye for detail and then the ability to turn it into an image for your readers to understand is excellent. The message is sad. Very well done. Terry.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
Comment from Tila Tenney
Wow this was amazing and captivated me the whole time. I've never been the New York but I could imagine walking down the streets and visualizing all these events going on. The details of the market, and the people talking or in the scenes made it much more real and it showed the care you take in the details.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
 |
Wow this was amazing and captivated me the whole time. I've never been the New York but I could imagine walking down the streets and visualizing all these events going on. The details of the market, and the people talking or in the scenes made it much more real and it showed the care you take in the details.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
Comment from Kingsrookviii
Excellent mood setting that set a time that drew me in and paint many pictures. It's melancholy, but vividly accurate; somehow, haunting. I love it s lot. Again, great work
|
Excellent mood setting that set a time that drew me in and paint many pictures. It's melancholy, but vividly accurate; somehow, haunting. I love it s lot. Again, great work
Comment Written 27-Mar-2023
Comment from royowen
The few times we've been to New York we stayed in my daughter's apartment building in upper east side manhattan, and the only time we saw the Bronx was the excellent zoo, You must have been a very observant young wan with a penchant for the macabre, beautiful written my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
|
The few times we've been to New York we stayed in my daughter's apartment building in upper east side manhattan, and the only time we saw the Bronx was the excellent zoo, You must have been a very observant young wan with a penchant for the macabre, beautiful written my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 27-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
-
Thank you scribe. Most honored. easy
-
Bless you
Comment from Gina Schneller
Hi there! This is such an interesting piece. It's intense for sure. I love this part...
"children breaking out and through
the gunmetal gray, graffiti scarred
doors to be swallowed by the
saturated heat of inner-city rage."
You have created such a picture in my mind with your descriptive writing. Thank you so much for sharing with us all!
|
Hi there! This is such an interesting piece. It's intense for sure. I love this part...
"children breaking out and through
the gunmetal gray, graffiti scarred
doors to be swallowed by the
saturated heat of inner-city rage."
You have created such a picture in my mind with your descriptive writing. Thank you so much for sharing with us all!
Comment Written 27-Mar-2023
Comment from Julie Lau
Thank you Easy for another piece of haunting, well-written poetry, but I have two suggestions to make:
1) 'once-attended': add the hyphen
2) 'high-heeled': add 'ed'
I trust this early work has not been set in stone.
Yours, Julie L
|
Thank you Easy for another piece of haunting, well-written poetry, but I have two suggestions to make:
1) 'once-attended': add the hyphen
2) 'high-heeled': add 'ed'
I trust this early work has not been set in stone.
Yours, Julie L
Comment Written 27-Mar-2023
Comment from pome lover
well, it's very good. You were a born writer who had a creative way with descriptions.
They, and your comments are wonderfully worded, with a sad, abrupt ending.
Congratulations on All time best!
Katharine
|
well, it's very good. You were a born writer who had a creative way with descriptions.
They, and your comments are wonderfully worded, with a sad, abrupt ending.
Congratulations on All time best!
Katharine
Comment Written 26-Mar-2023
Comment from jake cosmos aller
I seldom give a six-star rating, but this one deserves it. It is a masterfully done New York school-style poem about a young man walking through the South Bronx thinking about life as he comes to grips with his mother dying of cancer. You should revise and update it. would be interested in seeing the results. Do you live in NYC?
.
|
I seldom give a six-star rating, but this one deserves it. It is a masterfully done New York school-style poem about a young man walking through the South Bronx thinking about life as he comes to grips with his mother dying of cancer. You should revise and update it. would be interested in seeing the results. Do you live in NYC?
.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2023
Comment from Jane Jane King
This poem is very graphic, compelling and true to life. It has a very strong been there done that air of authenticity to it. The last sentence is very striking and sends out a strong life goes on message that is sad and hopeful all at once. Well done.
|
This poem is very graphic, compelling and true to life. It has a very strong been there done that air of authenticity to it. The last sentence is very striking and sends out a strong life goes on message that is sad and hopeful all at once. Well done.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2023
