A Walk
Back in time.60 total reviews
Comment from Goodadvicechan
We all sometimes have a moment of "back in time".
I like the following paragraph
"He stops and lets his mind wander back in time. He sees a woman, wearing a ratted, fox-tail wrap around her neck."
You did an excellent job to describing in details how she was dressed in the following paragraph. She definitely is a high glass noble lady.
Thank you for sharing
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We all sometimes have a moment of "back in time".
I like the following paragraph
"He stops and lets his mind wander back in time. He sees a woman, wearing a ratted, fox-tail wrap around her neck."
You did an excellent job to describing in details how she was dressed in the following paragraph. She definitely is a high glass noble lady.
Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Heather Knight
This is incredibly beautiful despite (or because of) the sadness it conveys. The details are so vivid, yet so poetically described, that I can imagine I am the narrator.
Thanks so much for sharing.
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This is incredibly beautiful despite (or because of) the sadness it conveys. The details are so vivid, yet so poetically described, that I can imagine I am the narrator.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Paul McFarland
Pretty amazing for a high schooler, Everett. We took our senior trip my senior year in high school in 1962. We took a bus ride through the Bronx and other NY boroughs. It was quite an experience for a country boy.
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Pretty amazing for a high schooler, Everett. We took our senior trip my senior year in high school in 1962. We took a bus ride through the Bronx and other NY boroughs. It was quite an experience for a country boy.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Once again, your descriptions of your walk are excellent. I'm sure the Bronx is safer but from what I understand there are still places one wouldn't want to spend time. Thank you for sharing.
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Once again, your descriptions of your walk are excellent. I'm sure the Bronx is safer but from what I understand there are still places one wouldn't want to spend time. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Mario PIERRE
Wow!!! What a detailed and thorough painting. I was looking at a livr painting, really, while reading your poem. The words are raw and blunt and ring true. And you wrote this in 1961, at 18 probably!!! Wow.
Great work!!
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Wow!!! What a detailed and thorough painting. I was looking at a livr painting, really, while reading your poem. The words are raw and blunt and ring true. And you wrote this in 1961, at 18 probably!!! Wow.
Great work!!
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Well, Easy, this is a great reminiscing of the way it used to be back when you had just finished high school. I loved some of the lines and the way you speak of your mother which you described so well with her lips puckering up to her cigarette and how she died of cancer late one day and how you loved her dearly and remembered her fondly.
Thanks for sharing this heartfelt poem.
Jesse
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Well, Easy, this is a great reminiscing of the way it used to be back when you had just finished high school. I loved some of the lines and the way you speak of your mother which you described so well with her lips puckering up to her cigarette and how she died of cancer late one day and how you loved her dearly and remembered her fondly.
Thanks for sharing this heartfelt poem.
Jesse
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Ricky1024
This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with No Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned most Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024
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This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with No Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned most Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Tom,
This is an image and emotion packed free verse about and empty school in the Bronx. It shows the memories through the run down appearance. Also the memory of a teacher who seemed to rule the roost before cancer got her. This shows the sad state of city schools then. It is sad that some are still like this. But I am glad that the Bronx of today is much more hopeful.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Hi Tom,
This is an image and emotion packed free verse about and empty school in the Bronx. It shows the memories through the run down appearance. Also the memory of a teacher who seemed to rule the roost before cancer got her. This shows the sad state of city schools then. It is sad that some are still like this. But I am glad that the Bronx of today is much more hopeful.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
A very powerful analysis and description of inner city deprivation. It has a universal application and could refer to many immigrant communities or victims of war and displacement.
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A very powerful analysis and description of inner city deprivation. It has a universal application and could refer to many immigrant communities or victims of war and displacement.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from jaded831
Very moving, painted a sad picture, the ending lets us know life goes on. We are here temporarily. I felt you were talking universal capturing the plight of both immigrants and war ridden countries. Well done.
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Very moving, painted a sad picture, the ending lets us know life goes on. We are here temporarily. I felt you were talking universal capturing the plight of both immigrants and war ridden countries. Well done.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
