Comment from aryr

Excellent

Good luck wishes regarding the contest entry, Heather. The picture was totally priceless and the video was very much enjoyed. Your words of the story were delightful and priceless. Merry Christmas to you and yours, have a Happy New Years, blessings n hugs!!!

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022

Thanks so much for your review, Aryr. I also wish you a very Merry Christmas. x

reply by aryr on 26-Dec-2022

Most welcome, Heather.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I think I love the legend, or rather the mythical forever love. Love , It's funny how things work out. I loved this, stories one hears of years long past of how they struggled back then. The Brontë sisters all died young, I guess the impression i hod was the family photo, well done Maria, great story, blessings Roy
Typo : Two Christmas('s) later. 2: Better Christmas('s) than bad Christmas('s)

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022

Thanks for reading and for noticing the typo, Roy. I'll fix it now.

reply by royowen on 26-Dec-2022

Welcome Maria,

Comment from Sarah Das Gupta

Excellent

A well told story in which the characters come alive. However, rather gloomy for Christmas! It seems there is almost a curse on the family!
The story reads like a traditional tale!

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 Comment Written 25-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022

Thanks for your review, Sarah. I don't know why, but most of my stories tend to be somewhat gloomy.

Comment from Sugarray77

Exceptional

Maria... so well done. Your story is beguiling and full of emotional depth and shadows. The character descriptions are very well done as is your plot and setting. Adding the townsfolk and their dialogue gives it depth. I enjoyed it. Good luck.

Melissa

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022

Thanks so much for this kind review and for the extra star, Melissa. x

Comment from Faith Williams

Excellent

I really enjoyed reading your Christmas story. It has a very Dickensian ending with the idea of ghosts.

A few things for you to consider:
'... limp because of an accident she'd had when she was farming with her father as a little girl.' I think you could shorten this part of the sentence to '... because of a farming accident when she was a little girl' for better flow.

'It was something involving a drunk farmhand and a plough.' I think you could shorten this to, 'It involved... ' for better flow.

'Summers dried the land and autumns littered it with leaves.' I love this line! It's short but fills my head with descriptive pictures.

'Josh was starting to think that there were more better Christmas than bad Christmas.' This sentence is a little awkward with the 'more better.' I get what you're saying, but maybe something like 'the good Christmases outnumbered the bad ones'?

Again, I really enjoyed your story. Best wishes in the contest, and Merry Christmas!






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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022

Thanks for reading the story and for your advice. I didn't like the accident sentence myself and now I know how to improve it.

Comment from Kaiku

Exceptional

Really enjoyed reading this story. It is so sad and yet it isn't. Great song at the end. Really very entertaining read on Christmas Day. I will keep an eye open for Josh and Beatrice.

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2022

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022

Thanks so much for your review and for the extra star.