A Baby Soldier Memoir/ Entry 4
An unexpected turn22 total reviews
Comment from kahpot
I love this chapter, I like it when someone who is as obnoxious as Lubora is put in their place, as you know I cannot really comment on the writing itself, so I just go with the story and the way it gets me in and intrigued, very well written****kahpot
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
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I love this chapter, I like it when someone who is as obnoxious as Lubora is put in their place, as you know I cannot really comment on the writing itself, so I just go with the story and the way it gets me in and intrigued, very well written****kahpot
Comment Written 23-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
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Thank You, kahpot, for the great review and the six stars. I really do appreciate your catching up and following.
Comment from Sugarray77
I found this story intriguing and interesting. Well done on keeping the pace lively with energy from the characters. Well done, also, on the plot, dialogue and setting. A very enjoyable read.
Melissa
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2022
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I found this story intriguing and interesting. Well done on keeping the pace lively with energy from the characters. Well done, also, on the plot, dialogue and setting. A very enjoyable read.
Melissa
Comment Written 30-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2022
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Melissa, Thank you so much for the great review, kind words, and stars. I'm happy you enjoyed it and hope you continue to follow. Happy New Year!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with both stories, John. I will say I liked the
first one with Lev and Dimitri better. The description from Lev
about the fire and thinking he would not survive was intense. I
believe Dimitri developed a better appreciation of Lev. The
receptionist was rude, but that was probably expected in Russia
at the time. It's evident you researched a lot for this chapter. I
wouldn't trust Lubora as far as I could throw her. If Zora comes
back to investigate, won't the receptionist recognize her? The
thought of the kidnappings from orphanages was scary.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2022
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You did a great job with both stories, John. I will say I liked the
first one with Lev and Dimitri better. The description from Lev
about the fire and thinking he would not survive was intense. I
believe Dimitri developed a better appreciation of Lev. The
receptionist was rude, but that was probably expected in Russia
at the time. It's evident you researched a lot for this chapter. I
wouldn't trust Lubora as far as I could throw her. If Zora comes
back to investigate, won't the receptionist recognize her? The
thought of the kidnappings from orphanages was scary.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 29-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Jan, for the great review and comments. I'm hoping your questions will be answered, depending on which way the characters take me, lol. Thank you again, my friend.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
At the end of part 3 you certainly left the reader on a precipice. Part 4 would be amusing if Lubora hadn't been in such a position of trust. Instead, since there is mention of kidnapping, her attitude is scarily self-absorbed. Very good writing to bring out emotions and attitudes.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2022
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At the end of part 3 you certainly left the reader on a precipice. Part 4 would be amusing if Lubora hadn't been in such a position of trust. Instead, since there is mention of kidnapping, her attitude is scarily self-absorbed. Very good writing to bring out emotions and attitudes.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Carol, for the great review. I'm hoping I can get it all to fall together in the next few chapters, now that I have most of the characters in place and somewhat developed! Thank you again!
Comment from Ric Myworld
You covered a whole lot of ground with this chapter. I just wish that I'd been able to have read it earlier in the week. I hope you had a nice holiday and I'm wishing you the greatest New Year ever! Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2022
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You covered a whole lot of ground with this chapter. I just wish that I'd been able to have read it earlier in the week. I hope you had a nice holiday and I'm wishing you the greatest New Year ever! Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Ric! I hope you had a nice holiday too. Happy New year!! I'll be in my PJs, trying to pick from the four drinks I poured as which one to drink first. It's a challenge, but I'll gitter done. Hahahah. Thanks again, my friend!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nicely done. Good work.
You busted Lubora well.
A 'year' of anger restraint? The movie 'Anger management' only took two hours! (smiley face here)
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2022
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Nicely done. Good work.
You busted Lubora well.
A 'year' of anger restraint? The movie 'Anger management' only took two hours! (smiley face here)
Best wishes.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Wayne! LOL. I'd thought I'd give her an extended punishment. :) Happy Holidays. I'm glad you're following.
Comment from prettybluebirds
I love your story. It is original and creative. It was wonderful to see the snotty receptionist get he come uppence. I enjoyed the story and look forward to reading more of it. Nice work.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2022
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I love your story. It is original and creative. It was wonderful to see the snotty receptionist get he come uppence. I enjoyed the story and look forward to reading more of it. Nice work.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Pbb, for the great review and comments. I'm happy you're following.
Comment from Shirley McLain
That receptionist is a piece of work. I am a little confused at the sign language. When Zora spoke to Luka, is she using sign the entire time? You did a great job. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, and your New Year will be even better. Do you practice any New Year Traditions? Have a great day. Shirley
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2022
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That receptionist is a piece of work. I am a little confused at the sign language. When Zora spoke to Luka, is she using sign the entire time? You did a great job. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, and your New Year will be even better. Do you practice any New Year Traditions? Have a great day. Shirley
Comment Written 28-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Shirley, for a great review. I had a wonderful Christmas! I hope you did as well. I appreciate the six stars and the kind words. I'm happy you're following.
Comment from Jim Wile
This is a very interesting story with equally interesting characters. You've done a fine job of writing. It is very engaging.
If I may make one suggestion: It is a bit unnatural to keep stating a character's name in conversation when they are standing right there talking to you. I know it is a good means for the reader to be able to identify who is talking, and occasionally it is appropriate, but I think the dialog would be more realistic if you instead used "_____," said Lev. Not on every line of dialog, of course, but in many cases when you want to identify the speaker.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2022
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This is a very interesting story with equally interesting characters. You've done a fine job of writing. It is very engaging.
If I may make one suggestion: It is a bit unnatural to keep stating a character's name in conversation when they are standing right there talking to you. I know it is a good means for the reader to be able to identify who is talking, and occasionally it is appropriate, but I think the dialog would be more realistic if you instead used "_____," said Lev. Not on every line of dialog, of course, but in many cases when you want to identify the speaker.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2022
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Hi, Jim. I was taught to stay away from he said /she said tags. I've been writing this style so long now I don't believe I could go back if I tried. Your opinion and prospective is noted, and thank you for reading, Jim. Happy Holidays!!
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I never thought about this too much and used names often in my own dialog when writing until I saw an excellent YouTube video by a professional editor who listed this as one of her pet peeves about writing.
She made a very compelling case about how unnatural that is, and now I am super-aware of it when I see it in writing. I made the switch in my own writing, and in cases where the only purpose in using the other person's name was to help the reader, that's when I now use the he said/she said.
It really isn't that often you have to use it, but it does help the realism of the dialog.
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Interesting. I believe I'm doing okay with my dialog. There are many ways to perfect the effect. Tags are not my style unless I'm using words like muttered/yelled/blurted Etc. I appreciate you taking the time and sharing.
Comment from strandregs
Fascinating reading
Compelling draws in with the mystery of missing people.
Blemishless writing.
A real pleasure to read.
The Russian setting has its own appeal.
And the sign language is a very contemporary diversity in.
:-))Z.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2022
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Fascinating reading
Compelling draws in with the mystery of missing people.
Blemishless writing.
A real pleasure to read.
The Russian setting has its own appeal.
And the sign language is a very contemporary diversity in.
:-))Z.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2022
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Hi, Z! Thank you so much for the read and the great review. It's always nice to hear from you. Happy Holidays!
