A Very Real Conversation
3rd Place Finish.8 total reviews
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Douglas
I read through your post and what I find interesting is that you seem to suggest that being a ' Christian' somehow means that you can't then be Gay as well
I can tell you The local church the Anglican or Church of Christ a where my parents attended (both now deceased) has had several Gay ministers
and were well loved and respected by their community
The last one who actually conducted Mums funeral would have to be the nicest minister I have ever met
He was kind and caring and he and Mum were very close
I don't have any religion myself ( despite being sent to Church etc as a child) but decided religion was not for me as an adult But I can still respect people's beliefs and Mums Parish priest is a humble lovely man who I have a great respect for
I find it interesting that people run off to Church or quote the bible etc cannot accept Gay people how un Christian is that
It sound like your daughter is still finding herself but hopefully
Things will improve
Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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Hi Douglas
I read through your post and what I find interesting is that you seem to suggest that being a ' Christian' somehow means that you can't then be Gay as well
I can tell you The local church the Anglican or Church of Christ a where my parents attended (both now deceased) has had several Gay ministers
and were well loved and respected by their community
The last one who actually conducted Mums funeral would have to be the nicest minister I have ever met
He was kind and caring and he and Mum were very close
I don't have any religion myself ( despite being sent to Church etc as a child) but decided religion was not for me as an adult But I can still respect people's beliefs and Mums Parish priest is a humble lovely man who I have a great respect for
I find it interesting that people run off to Church or quote the bible etc cannot accept Gay people how un Christian is that
It sound like your daughter is still finding herself but hopefully
Things will improve
Cheers Christine
Comment Written 13-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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You missed the entire point of the piece. It?s a daughter and father finding their way through difficult issues. I quoted nothing from the Bible about gays can?t be Christian. I quoted and even put a verse about love. This is not a write-up about Christian verses gay. It?s a write-up about a father and daughter trying to find their way. Thank you Christine. These are great conversations. Douglas
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Hi Douglas Sorry I did get that too and I am sure it was a difficult conversation to have and it did seem like your daughter was hell bent on getting her point across that she thought you were homophobic re Gays and you explained that to her also that you don?t hate Gays etc
I suppose the point I was trying to make is that I can?t understand religious beliefs re Gay people and I think to be Christian should include everyone Gay or not
I am sorry I sent a review but I did see the conversation point also but didn?t express my self very well
Anyway each to their own and I hope everything works out well for your daughter
By the way Congratulations on your Third place in the contest
Cheers Chris
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No worries, Chrissy. I appreciate your review. This was a tough time in my life and I am probably oversensitive, but I believe church is meant to be for all, because we all sin. That is why I go. Peace and love.
Comment from Teri7
I wish I had six stars to give you for this very well written conversation from your Christian heart. My husband and I are Christians also. We have a gay son. He knows where we stand on that subject. We made a trip to San Diego one year to visit him and his mate. At first it was uncomfortable, until I realized I was supposed to love and not hate. Those people where they were need God and love. They could not understand if they were in their right minds. It is our youngest son and of course I love him and always will, but he knows I pray for him and Clark all the time as well as our other children. Thank you for sharing this. I think I messed up with mine at one point too. May God bless you and your relationship with your daughter! Teri
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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I wish I had six stars to give you for this very well written conversation from your Christian heart. My husband and I are Christians also. We have a gay son. He knows where we stand on that subject. We made a trip to San Diego one year to visit him and his mate. At first it was uncomfortable, until I realized I was supposed to love and not hate. Those people where they were need God and love. They could not understand if they were in their right minds. It is our youngest son and of course I love him and always will, but he knows I pray for him and Clark all the time as well as our other children. Thank you for sharing this. I think I messed up with mine at one point too. May God bless you and your relationship with your daughter! Teri
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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Your kind wonderful words mean more than any six star rating. Thanks you so much!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
This conversation is taking place in homes around the globe be they Christian or not. You took the time to talk to your daughter, when many parents will not, or worse, disown their child.
She will come around because you love her and you are her father.
Congratulations, this is exceptional.
Pam
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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This conversation is taking place in homes around the globe be they Christian or not. You took the time to talk to your daughter, when many parents will not, or worse, disown their child.
She will come around because you love her and you are her father.
Congratulations, this is exceptional.
Pam
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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Thank you, Pam! I really wanted to shine a light on this, because in my experience, the church really doesn't want to, or maybe doesn't know how to address this issue.
My daughter is already starting to come around, so we shall see!
Appreciate you!
Douglas
Comment from Susan Newell
Douglas,
I am fresh out of sixes. I commend you for putting this story in print. It is a difficult topic that deserves conversation rather than a review. The topic is complex and has numerous facets. It seems that your daughter, like many people I have known, cannot separate refusal to condone behavior from being "hateful." Lots of people, of all stripes, behave in ways I cannot condone, but I can still love and respect them, and I certainly don't hate them. I, too, have been angry that "the movement" has altered "phobia" to mean hate. That wasn't an accident either. It just made for a catch phrase with which to attack others while claiming offense. However, I won't be blackmailed by the "If you really cared about me you'd approve of and condone everything I do." God doesn't approve of all our behaviors, doesn't condone or encourage them, but loves us nevertheless. I don't demand any more from myself. Like I said. I would need a conversation to address this in depth, but I have seen some horrific destruction (of other people) caused by the psychological ramifications and additional behaviors that often accompany confused sexuality. The pedophile movement is already lined up for the "born that way" argument to be unrolled in accompaniment with a demand for children's "rights" to sexuality. What is happening in the schools now is grooming children to convince them that they are homosexual or transgender, in huge numbers. This is not new. It's been going on for decades, but more on the QT through "sex ed" classes, for ages down to Head Start programs. The "family friendly" drag queen shows, full of mimicked sexual behaviors (to the point of sodomy), with their dance, music, colors, costumes, etc. don't look much different to young children than a Disney On Ice production. The rainbow flag is no accident. What kid doesn't like a rainbow? Where is the line in the sand? We have to protect the children and allow adults to make their own decisions.
Your daughter may receive more acceptance and "affirmation" from her teachers and peers for being gay. It's become a badge of honor to be so "brave" (and cool). She might even be looking to you to affirm that she isn't gay. Maybe she's looking for a conversation about her feelings. It's hard to know these days. I'd better stop here.
Just continue to love her and pray that she has a fulfilling life.
I hope I haven't seemed callous. I don't mean to be.
Sue
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2023
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Douglas,
I am fresh out of sixes. I commend you for putting this story in print. It is a difficult topic that deserves conversation rather than a review. The topic is complex and has numerous facets. It seems that your daughter, like many people I have known, cannot separate refusal to condone behavior from being "hateful." Lots of people, of all stripes, behave in ways I cannot condone, but I can still love and respect them, and I certainly don't hate them. I, too, have been angry that "the movement" has altered "phobia" to mean hate. That wasn't an accident either. It just made for a catch phrase with which to attack others while claiming offense. However, I won't be blackmailed by the "If you really cared about me you'd approve of and condone everything I do." God doesn't approve of all our behaviors, doesn't condone or encourage them, but loves us nevertheless. I don't demand any more from myself. Like I said. I would need a conversation to address this in depth, but I have seen some horrific destruction (of other people) caused by the psychological ramifications and additional behaviors that often accompany confused sexuality. The pedophile movement is already lined up for the "born that way" argument to be unrolled in accompaniment with a demand for children's "rights" to sexuality. What is happening in the schools now is grooming children to convince them that they are homosexual or transgender, in huge numbers. This is not new. It's been going on for decades, but more on the QT through "sex ed" classes, for ages down to Head Start programs. The "family friendly" drag queen shows, full of mimicked sexual behaviors (to the point of sodomy), with their dance, music, colors, costumes, etc. don't look much different to young children than a Disney On Ice production. The rainbow flag is no accident. What kid doesn't like a rainbow? Where is the line in the sand? We have to protect the children and allow adults to make their own decisions.
Your daughter may receive more acceptance and "affirmation" from her teachers and peers for being gay. It's become a badge of honor to be so "brave" (and cool). She might even be looking to you to affirm that she isn't gay. Maybe she's looking for a conversation about her feelings. It's hard to know these days. I'd better stop here.
Just continue to love her and pray that she has a fulfilling life.
I hope I haven't seemed callous. I don't mean to be.
Sue
Comment Written 06-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2023
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Reviews and stars wasn't the goal. Getting opinions like yours was. As a parent you would like to think that you always do the right thing, but that's improbable. Thanks for your thoughts!
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Douglas,
You are very welcome. Like I said, not an easy topic. I lost a nephew to suicide and another to a life of crime due to family dysfunction (on many levels) and a father that came out of the closet when they were teens. Most of the problems were caused by the erratic father. So I have some strong emotions on this subject. Both boys attempted suicide in the same week. One drank anti-freeze (and later succeeded with an OD on prescription drugs) and the other took every prescribed pill in his possession (numerous bottles) and had to be helicoptered to life-saving facilities. He's done time in three state prisons that I know of. Tough subject for me.
Sue
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Sounds tough. Have to tread lightly on these topics when speaking with young ones.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
This piece is totally different than you chapters in the sci-fi arena, if I have you being who I think you are.
The conversation had to be difficult. I cringe thinking about it, and wonder had I been you would I have been so acceptable. Still, if God loves us sufficiently to give us agency, I won't debate his reasoning.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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This piece is totally different than you chapters in the sci-fi arena, if I have you being who I think you are.
The conversation had to be difficult. I cringe thinking about it, and wonder had I been you would I have been so acceptable. Still, if God loves us sufficiently to give us agency, I won't debate his reasoning.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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You do. It was. Nor would I.
Comment from Barbara Peabody Pouliot
This is a beautiful story. You did an absolutely great job with your conversation.
As long as love and honesty and respect is involved it is always perfect.
It is hard to be a parent. I do not think the Lord expects us to be perfect, no one is.
SWOT. Speak Words of Truth and you never fail.
Thank you for sharing. This must have been hard to share.
You are a wonderful dad and never doubt yourself.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2023
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This is a beautiful story. You did an absolutely great job with your conversation.
As long as love and honesty and respect is involved it is always perfect.
It is hard to be a parent. I do not think the Lord expects us to be perfect, no one is.
SWOT. Speak Words of Truth and you never fail.
Thank you for sharing. This must have been hard to share.
You are a wonderful dad and never doubt yourself.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2023
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Awwww. I appreciate you Barbara! You are a good friend to me!
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It takes a good friend to know a good friend
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry and this conversation with us. I raised four boys. My second son Jeff was my wild child and challenged every situation. He was raised in a Christian home, too. I had very similar situations with him. He's now 42 years old and we have a great relationship and God's promise about if we raise our children with God, they will come back to the fold is very true. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry and this conversation with us. I raised four boys. My second son Jeff was my wild child and challenged every situation. He was raised in a Christian home, too. I had very similar situations with him. He's now 42 years old and we have a great relationship and God's promise about if we raise our children with God, they will come back to the fold is very true. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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Thank you my friend for your very kind words. Parenting can be such a challenge.
Comment from Faith Williams
Wow, Douglas, thank you so much for sharing your story. I realize it must have been difficult to share something so close to your heart.
My only suggestion is for this sentence, 'What I do know is that whenever I deal with the homosexual community...' Maybe change 'deal with' to 'come into contact with' as 'deal with' to me carries with it an implication they are a problem, and I don't believe that is what you meant.
Your piece is well-written, and I think you handled the situation admirably and with lots of love--patience, kindness, etc. Sometimes teenagers just don't want to hear what you have to say. Again, thank you so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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Wow, Douglas, thank you so much for sharing your story. I realize it must have been difficult to share something so close to your heart.
My only suggestion is for this sentence, 'What I do know is that whenever I deal with the homosexual community...' Maybe change 'deal with' to 'come into contact with' as 'deal with' to me carries with it an implication they are a problem, and I don't believe that is what you meant.
Your piece is well-written, and I think you handled the situation admirably and with lots of love--patience, kindness, etc. Sometimes teenagers just don't want to hear what you have to say. Again, thank you so much for sharing.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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Thank you so very much Faith. You are correct that I didn't intend to come off so negative with that line. I corrected it and appreciate you!
