Bread
15 minute free verse challenge11 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Well, that'll kill the idea of fresh bread for sure, Debra.
I enjoyed your club response. The picture paired perfectly
with your words. You described the process of making
bread well, or was this describing something else like a
romantic encounter . . . ?
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Well, that'll kill the idea of fresh bread for sure, Debra.
I enjoyed your club response. The picture paired perfectly
with your words. You described the process of making
bread well, or was this describing something else like a
romantic encounter . . . ?
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 23-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Jan, for your kind and insightful feedback.
Best wishes as always, Debra :)
Comment from Heather Knight
Hello Debra,
I guess you are speaking from experience?
I like how you bring bread to life in your poem.
This little verse is gorgeous:
no give
left
to give
Thanks for sharing. x
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Hello Debra,
I guess you are speaking from experience?
I like how you bring bread to life in your poem.
This little verse is gorgeous:
no give
left
to give
Thanks for sharing. x
Comment Written 23-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Hi Maria :)
Thank you for reading and for your feedback - I appreciate it!
Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from lyenochka
I like that you challenge the reader with the title with a question mark making us wonder if this is really about making bread or about someone objecting to the demands of a relationship or a complaint to God about life. Great job in just a fifteen minute write!!
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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I like that you challenge the reader with the title with a question mark making us wonder if this is really about making bread or about someone objecting to the demands of a relationship or a complaint to God about life. Great job in just a fifteen minute write!!
Comment Written 23-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Hi Helen :)
Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful feedback - happy that you noticed the ulterior meaning behind my words and appreciative of your generous pump.
Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image and presentation, Debra.
-You did a good job with the challenge.
-I like your topic and the imagery
as you describe kneading bread.
-I like the double meaning of 'kneaded' in the beginning.
-The following verses could either be you or the dough.
-A good ending to the poem, as well.
-Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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-Nice image and presentation, Debra.
-You did a good job with the challenge.
-I like your topic and the imagery
as you describe kneading bread.
-I like the double meaning of 'kneaded' in the beginning.
-The following verses could either be you or the dough.
-A good ending to the poem, as well.
-Well done.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Hi Pam :)
Thank you for your feedback - I appreciate your thoughtful response and comments as always.
Best wishes as always, Debra
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You are very welcome, Debra.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent free verse poem for the fabulous free verse club. Good form and presentation. I like the theme... it's very interesting and unique.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Excellent free verse poem for the fabulous free verse club. Good form and presentation. I like the theme... it's very interesting and unique.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Thank you for your kind feedback, Gypsy :)
Best wishes as always, Debra
Comment from Val Crisson
Well, since I make bread (sometimes) I get this comparison to life and bread making. At least that's my take on this. Too much trying and working sometimes leaves "bread" hard and dissatisfying. Lovely comparison, in my mind.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Well, since I make bread (sometimes) I get this comparison to life and bread making. At least that's my take on this. Too much trying and working sometimes leaves "bread" hard and dissatisfying. Lovely comparison, in my mind.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Val, for your thoughtful feedback. I appreciate it :)
Best wishes as always, Debra
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a sad, extremely concise free verse. It works well to describe the negative feelings felt when the writer feels overwhelmed by life. The simile to dough works well. kay
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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This is a sad, extremely concise free verse. It works well to describe the negative feelings felt when the writer feels overwhelmed by life. The simile to dough works well. kay
Comment Written 22-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Kay, for your intuitive feedback. Much appreciated, best wishes as always, Debra :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Moulding and stretching bread to introduce the air and spread the yeast within, I love homemade bread but too much of it lies heavy on my stomach! An action packed write Debra, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Moulding and stretching bread to introduce the air and spread the yeast within, I love homemade bread but too much of it lies heavy on my stomach! An action packed write Debra, love Dolly x
Comment Written 22-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Thank you, Dolly :)
I appreciate your feedback - best wishes as always, Debra
Comment from karenina
Love the layered meaning here. How very true... In order to "rise" one must take the path of "yeast" resistance!
(Oh, well ~ you know I had to flow with the metaphor!)
Fifteen minutes you say?
Wow, say I!
Karenina
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Love the layered meaning here. How very true... In order to "rise" one must take the path of "yeast" resistance!
(Oh, well ~ you know I had to flow with the metaphor!)
Fifteen minutes you say?
Wow, say I!
Karenina
Comment Written 22-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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LOL!
Thank you for your lovely feedback, Karenina :)
Best wishes as always, Debra
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I am such a dork.
NO excuse.
I just am...
:)
Comment from royowen
Resistance is a good thing, it's the whole point of exercise, resistance, without it we wouldn't be able to survive fot very long. I love this post my friend, well dine, good job, Debra, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Resistance is a good thing, it's the whole point of exercise, resistance, without it we wouldn't be able to survive fot very long. I love this post my friend, well dine, good job, Debra, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2023
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Thank you for your kind feedback, Roy :)
Best wishes as always, Debra
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Most welcome
