One More BITE!
I`ll never tire of this.9 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Yes, I heard that "gluttony" is one of the "seven deadly sins" and you have made an entertaining list of things to eat - even "irony." I can see why this poem won the contest! Congratulations!
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2023
  |
Yes, I heard that "gluttony" is one of the "seven deadly sins" and you have made an entertaining list of things to eat - even "irony." I can see why this poem won the contest! Congratulations!
Comment Written 27-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2023
-
Thanks. It was certainly a spoof on the ?deadly sin?
Ha
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Gluttony can cause a lot of health problems. We don't need any more problems hanging over our head and this is one problem that would. I never find pride in eating too much.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2023
|
Gluttony can cause a lot of health problems. We don't need any more problems hanging over our head and this is one problem that would. I never find pride in eating too much.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2023
-
You are absolutely correct. This is just a spoof. Thanks for reading.
Comment from susand3022
Hello Author,
I love this! It made me laugh. It is who I am as well. Chocolate is my bff. I just can't help myself. As much as I say I'm not going to... I do it anyway! lol
I'm stumbling over one line in the poem...
"A belly for food I lust"
I feel almost as though it's a misprint. Are you sure you didn't mean, "A belly full of food I lust"? That would solve the flow problem.
This is a really fun poem that shows us what we all are inside when it comes down to it... hungry for treats! :)
Susan :)
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
|
Hello Author,
I love this! It made me laugh. It is who I am as well. Chocolate is my bff. I just can't help myself. As much as I say I'm not going to... I do it anyway! lol
I'm stumbling over one line in the poem...
"A belly for food I lust"
I feel almost as though it's a misprint. Are you sure you didn't mean, "A belly full of food I lust"? That would solve the flow problem.
This is a really fun poem that shows us what we all are inside when it comes down to it... hungry for treats! :)
Susan :)
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
-
Yea, you?re probably right but I manage to get lust, pride and gluttony all in one fell swoop. Ha. Thanks for the fun review.
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello author, I love this poem. Your poem made me feel as if you could easily be a member of my own family. Holidays are about the food--sorry to those who think it's about the people. Lol.
Your poem reads and flows well and has good rhyming within. I especially liked:
You`ll never ever find me tire
When food and drink are my desire
(Fun imagery and sensory appeal)
Well chosen photo--looks like a family member of mine, perhaps we're related??? Well done. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck.
LateBloomer
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
|
Hello author, I love this poem. Your poem made me feel as if you could easily be a member of my own family. Holidays are about the food--sorry to those who think it's about the people. Lol.
Your poem reads and flows well and has good rhyming within. I especially liked:
You`ll never ever find me tire
When food and drink are my desire
(Fun imagery and sensory appeal)
Well chosen photo--looks like a family member of mine, perhaps we're related??? Well done. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck.
LateBloomer
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
-
you made me laugh Thank you for your nice review. It`s really a spoof on eating. Glad you liked it.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a good deadly sin entry. The text is a great size, The message is clearly stated. However, you have three areas I feel needs to be developed better. Verse/stanza two the first and last line. The first line is awkwardly stated. it would sound clearer if you said} For food my belly lust. The last line refers to bowel movement and changes the tone/mood of your poem. Spend every line driving the gluttony theme. The third line in the last stanza also goes into another concept. Keep your focus on food and gluttony. Use every line to make your message stronger. This will make your poem box more precise. Drop the first line down one.
or two spaces. Go the last line and hit enter once.
The word chocolate is misspelled} chocoalte .
The visual would be better if it contained food. Ideally would be to have a person surrounded by food. Go to your search engine and type in free images of gluttony or free images of a person surrounded by food. Download it to your computer and upload it this site. That's how I find a bigger variety of visuals. Good luck in the contest.
Also expand your poem box.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
 |
This is a good deadly sin entry. The text is a great size, The message is clearly stated. However, you have three areas I feel needs to be developed better. Verse/stanza two the first and last line. The first line is awkwardly stated. it would sound clearer if you said} For food my belly lust. The last line refers to bowel movement and changes the tone/mood of your poem. Spend every line driving the gluttony theme. The third line in the last stanza also goes into another concept. Keep your focus on food and gluttony. Use every line to make your message stronger. This will make your poem box more precise. Drop the first line down one.
or two spaces. Go the last line and hit enter once.
The word chocolate is misspelled} chocoalte .
The visual would be better if it contained food. Ideally would be to have a person surrounded by food. Go to your search engine and type in free images of gluttony or free images of a person surrounded by food. Download it to your computer and upload it this site. That's how I find a bigger variety of visuals. Good luck in the contest.
Also expand your poem box.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
-
Thanks for catching the misspelling. This is really a spoof on gluttony. I appreciate the thought you put into the review.
-
The spoof angle is based on if someone gets it. The direct approach with such a known topic would be the way I would go for a surer win. You are welcome.
Comment from tempeste
This was a delightful read starting with the title.
In a recent post you provided a pic of yourself and you looked decidedly fit ..no one would know you stash away so much food.
I imagined you looking somewhat like a hamster , sorry .
You must burn the calories doing sports or maybe you are stressed , stress speeds our metabolism and prolonged stress may lead to depression, which can also cause weight loss.
Whatever the reason, you don't mope or feel guilty after because you don't have to deal with any weigh gain.
You are practically gloating about your "sin"
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
 |
This was a delightful read starting with the title.
In a recent post you provided a pic of yourself and you looked decidedly fit ..no one would know you stash away so much food.
I imagined you looking somewhat like a hamster , sorry .
You must burn the calories doing sports or maybe you are stressed , stress speeds our metabolism and prolonged stress may lead to depression, which can also cause weight loss.
Whatever the reason, you don't mope or feel guilty after because you don't have to deal with any weigh gain.
You are practically gloating about your "sin"
Comment Written 24-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
-
You must quit making me laugh so much. I did my 20 lengths in the pool today and ate a bowl of grape nuts before bedtime. It`s the grape nuts I fear as they could conjure up dreams of my gluttony self. Ha. Thank you for the 6 as they fatten me with humbleness. I keep fit in my hamster wheel.
-
😝
-
😂😎
-
Ciao !
Counting two votes now! 😋
Comment from prettybluebirds
I can relate to this writing of yours. I love the artwork you attached to the writing; it is perfect. This is a delightful and fun read. I wish you worlds of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
|
I can relate to this writing of yours. I love the artwork you attached to the writing; it is perfect. This is a delightful and fun read. I wish you worlds of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
-
Nice review. Thank you.
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very good poem for the deadly sin poetry contest. It seems there are many who eat far more than they should. The also eat much too quickly. I have lost 108 pound in three years and have learned to eat more slowly.
Patricia
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
|
This is a very good poem for the deadly sin poetry contest. It seems there are many who eat far more than they should. The also eat much too quickly. I have lost 108 pound in three years and have learned to eat more slowly.
Patricia
Comment Written 24-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
-
Good for you. Congrats on the weight loss. Thanks for nice review.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You made me smile with this write about gluttony as so many suffer with this ailment! Just one suggestion for this line for the sake of grammar:
When food and drink (are) my desire.
Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
|
You made me smile with this write about gluttony as so many suffer with this ailment! Just one suggestion for this line for the sake of grammar:
When food and drink (are) my desire.
Love Dolly x
Comment Written 24-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
-
Thanks for the heads-up and the review.
