Miss Eugenie
Man's memory of a woman.10 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Saw this, by accident. What an exciting tale? And now the, formerly 11year old is a doctor looking at a lot more naked bodies. A great story and no spags.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Saw this, by accident. What an exciting tale? And now the, formerly 11year old is a doctor looking at a lot more naked bodies. A great story and no spags.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much. He did, indeed become a doctor. Lol. I appreciate the 6. Gretchen
Comment from Ric Myworld
Fantastic! You had me throughout the whole piece thinking that by the end Miss Eugenie was going to finally tell him the truth about the picture, but she never told. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Fantastic! You had me throughout the whole piece thinking that by the end Miss Eugenie was going to finally tell him the truth about the picture, but she never told. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thanks so much for this nice review and rating. I truly appreciate it. Gretchen
Comment from John Ciarmello
I loved this, Gretchen! What a great full-circle piece of writing. It was gratifying, and although Eugine was away from his mom, she still missed her all those years. A great story! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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I loved this, Gretchen! What a great full-circle piece of writing. It was gratifying, and although Eugine was away from his mom, she still missed her all those years. A great story! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thank you. I really appreciate your comments. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I did enjoy it but I was hoping for another chapter about Miranda and Waylon. This story is very well done and I must compliment you on your writing skills. I am no expert but most readers aren't so I think I can voice my opinion and know there are others who enjoy your efforts. Well done, Gretchen. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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I did enjoy it but I was hoping for another chapter about Miranda and Waylon. This story is very well done and I must compliment you on your writing skills. I am no expert but most readers aren't so I think I can voice my opinion and know there are others who enjoy your efforts. Well done, Gretchen. Nancy:)
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thank you. I am planning on posting a chapter in Miranda tonight. Barring anything that might take precedence, you will find a notification in your inbox. Lol. Gretchen
Comment from Wendy G
A lovely story! Very realistic, and I could just imagine the scene in front of the painting. I always enjoy your straightforward, clear, insightful writing.
Wendy
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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A lovely story! Very realistic, and I could just imagine the scene in front of the painting. I always enjoy your straightforward, clear, insightful writing.
Wendy
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you. I appreciate the nice comments and review. Gretchen
Comment from Faith Williams
I enjoyed reading your story. I wanted to keep reading and find out what happened.
'It's easier to let go, than it is to be let go of.' Wow, now that's a sentence with so much truth in it.
A few items to consider:
In the second paragraph, every sentence is the same structure. Maybe switch it up? For example: 'Resembling Walter Cronkite with his furry salt and pepper mustache, her husband was tall and somewhat older than her.'
'There were fauz marble columns... ' I believe it should be 'faux.'
'There was stationary laid out... ' I believe it should be 'stationery.'
'wiff' should be 'whiff'
Thank you so much for sharing your enjoyable story. Your ending made me chuckle.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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I enjoyed reading your story. I wanted to keep reading and find out what happened.
'It's easier to let go, than it is to be let go of.' Wow, now that's a sentence with so much truth in it.
A few items to consider:
In the second paragraph, every sentence is the same structure. Maybe switch it up? For example: 'Resembling Walter Cronkite with his furry salt and pepper mustache, her husband was tall and somewhat older than her.'
'There were fauz marble columns... ' I believe it should be 'faux.'
'There was stationary laid out... ' I believe it should be 'stationery.'
'wiff' should be 'whiff'
Thank you so much for sharing your enjoyable story. Your ending made me chuckle.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much for the suggestions and catching the spag. I appreciate that. Thank you for this great review. Gretchen
Comment from royowen
You're a good literary raconteur Gretchen, you've crossed the gender floor with this excellent post. You took me back to my very young, adolescent childhood. Could I have been that boy? Yes quite possibly! Beautifully written Gretchen, blessings Roy
Typo : that (woman) tell each other. Women?
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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You're a good literary raconteur Gretchen, you've crossed the gender floor with this excellent post. You took me back to my very young, adolescent childhood. Could I have been that boy? Yes quite possibly! Beautifully written Gretchen, blessings Roy
Typo : that (woman) tell each other. Women?
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thanks for the review, the compliment and confession. I appreciate this review. Gretchen
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Well done
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I really liked reading this short story. I felt like I was on the scene watching.
"I'm sorry. I've missed her for many years." She looked down at her wrist. (Guidance is to use a stronger verb than looked, did she glance at her wrist or did she study her wrist. Use the strongest verb to describe action.)
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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I really liked reading this short story. I felt like I was on the scene watching.
"I'm sorry. I've missed her for many years." She looked down at her wrist. (Guidance is to use a stronger verb than looked, did she glance at her wrist or did she study her wrist. Use the strongest verb to describe action.)
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much for the wonderful suggestion. I appreciate this review. Gretchen
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Gretchen!
Fast-moving and so realistic.
Enjoyed your development and descriptions of characters very much, and the part about why the mother ended her friendship with Miss Eugenie. (Classic)
A couple of thoughts:
I'd switch the order/placement of these two paragrahs:
Their house was not like our cookie cutter tri-level. There were fauz marble columns in the basement with a long teal velvet couch that wrapped most of the wall. Their basement looked nicer than our living room.
The doctor and Miss Eugenie told us, and all of the neighbors who came to their open house, to feel free to look around.
~~~~~~~
The following paragraph could be tightened with introducing Miss Eugenie's husband as "Dr." and merging the two last sentences together:
She and her husband had recently moved into our neighborhood. He was tall, somewhat older than her. He resembled Walter Cronkite with his furry salt and pepper mustache. He was a doctor at the only hospital in our county.
~~~~~~~~
eaves dropper (eavesdropper)
Thank you for sharing!
Truly enjoyable!
diane
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Hello, Gretchen!
Fast-moving and so realistic.
Enjoyed your development and descriptions of characters very much, and the part about why the mother ended her friendship with Miss Eugenie. (Classic)
A couple of thoughts:
I'd switch the order/placement of these two paragrahs:
Their house was not like our cookie cutter tri-level. There were fauz marble columns in the basement with a long teal velvet couch that wrapped most of the wall. Their basement looked nicer than our living room.
The doctor and Miss Eugenie told us, and all of the neighbors who came to their open house, to feel free to look around.
~~~~~~~
The following paragraph could be tightened with introducing Miss Eugenie's husband as "Dr." and merging the two last sentences together:
She and her husband had recently moved into our neighborhood. He was tall, somewhat older than her. He resembled Walter Cronkite with his furry salt and pepper mustache. He was a doctor at the only hospital in our county.
~~~~~~~~
eaves dropper (eavesdropper)
Thank you for sharing!
Truly enjoyable!
diane
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much for these suggestions. I did go back and change most. I appreciate this help very much. Gretchen
Comment from Rachelle Allen
What a very cool story! I love the way that you write for the sheer enjoyment of the creation. And this one is a treasure. It was so easy to imagine every second of every scene. Your descriptions were rich in detail.
In the paragraph beginning "my mom and Miss Eugenie became close friends..." make "woman" plural. Everything else was letter-perfect. Wonderful read, Gretchen.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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What a very cool story! I love the way that you write for the sheer enjoyment of the creation. And this one is a treasure. It was so easy to imagine every second of every scene. Your descriptions were rich in detail.
In the paragraph beginning "my mom and Miss Eugenie became close friends..." make "woman" plural. Everything else was letter-perfect. Wonderful read, Gretchen.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the compliment and for catching that spag. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Gretchen
