Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello, Joan,

Lovely city haiku about your haven... where you feel safe. Good syllables count but remember you don't have to fit the 5/7/5 mold. Sometimes less is more. Your poem will flow better. Also, you wrote "this"but you have two things "These". We try to keep punctuation to a minimum and commas in one line breaks the flow.
.
What I mean....

wherever I am,
dad's work and my playground
are my haven

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023

Thanks for the constructive criticism, MariVal.
Joan

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

I like the contented tone of this poem. It reminds me of a child feeling safe, secure, and at home in her/his neighborhood with all the reminders of being well cared for in familiar surroundings.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023

Thanks for the nice comments and high rating, Helen.
Joan

Comment from Shirley Rebstock

Excellent

Definitely, meets 5 7 5 rule. At first I thought you meant your Dad's work place was your haven. Then I reread it and see you know how to appreciate where ever you are in life.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023

Thanks for reading. I am sorry for your confusion. I am glad you still liked it.
Joan

reply by Shirley Rebstock on 29-Jan-2023

No my fault for reading too fast.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

This is sentimental, warm and loving as you find a haven with family and I loved your few words here for the club, home is where the heart is, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2023

Thanks, Dolly, for your kind words and high rating.
Joan