Reviews from

haiku (as night descends) 4-7-6

A Haiku for the club challenge

17 total reviews 
Comment from Wendy G
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Sometimes the low rays of the sun towards sunset do seem to accentuate the pollution of the city skyline. Untethered pollution is an interesting and well selected phrase, as it does seem that the pollution is rising higher and higher into the atmosphere. I like your City Haiku a lot. Well done.
Wendy

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2023

reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023
    Thank you Wendy, for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Ida T. Johnson
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Yes, I agree that "untethered pollution" can certainly cause problems in the city. Sorry, but I really like that term! You've created a situation of trading places: the night descends as the "UP" ascends. Good job!

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2023

reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023
    Thank you very much, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Jasmine Girl
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You are right on for pointing out the pollution caused by the city. wish I had thought of it. I also like the word "untethered". What a great entry for the City Haiku theme.

Well done.

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2023

reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023
    Thank you very much, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Lady MJ
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When our day ends, the environment does change in many ways. We reflect back on the day's activities and, with a big sigh of relief, brush them off and prepare for another day. Good use of words.

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2023

reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023
    Thank you very much, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from JT traveller
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I really like this. It flows well and has an air of intrigue to it. "Untethered pollution." Thought provoking words. Where does it all drift? Far off into the night sky as darkness descends? A great poem.

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2023

reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023
    Thank you very much, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from patcelaw
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This is an excellent haiku with a bit of a different Syllable count. I wish you the very best of luck in the contest may you have a wonderful evening and a good day tomorrow. Patricia.

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 Comment Written 31-Jan-2023

reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023
    Thank you very much, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from lyenochka
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Looks like New York City? I agree with the pollution in cities. I wondered if you meant activities of the past day? If so then:
past day's activities wake
But I find that the pollution is less during the night when the sun isn't heating the air.


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 Comment Written 31-Jan-2023

reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
    Thank you so very much, (I thought I was on top of my punctuation) and yes I agree it is less during the night, though I think as the sun is going down it seems more visible, as always so very much appreciated****kahpot