Some Seem So Real
An Octelle for Potlatch Poetry Club26 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job, Yvonne, with your club response.
The picture was perfect and set a great tone for your
work. Great job with the requirements of the style. I
liked the assonance of the ending words--those that
rhymed and the others with similar sound. I could see
one questioning their dreams as that subject is interesting
and misunderstood by many. Your lines flowed smoothly
into each other to keep the focus moving forward. The color
scheme was perfect, too. You gave readers much to think about.
Thanks for participating, Jan
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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You did a great job, Yvonne, with your club response.
The picture was perfect and set a great tone for your
work. Great job with the requirements of the style. I
liked the assonance of the ending words--those that
rhymed and the others with similar sound. I could see
one questioning their dreams as that subject is interesting
and misunderstood by many. Your lines flowed smoothly
into each other to keep the focus moving forward. The color
scheme was perfect, too. You gave readers much to think about.
Thanks for participating, Jan
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thank you. But as Jim pointed out, those four lines, seven syllables, should have had the rhyme scheme of bbcc. I wrote bbbb. Thanks for not counting off.
Comment from GWHARGIS
I rarely remember my dreams but when I do, they are usually for me to give a message to someone from a deceased friend or relative. Weird, I know. The style of the poem was new to me but I liked how it made everything come full circle. Great job. Gretchen
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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I rarely remember my dreams but when I do, they are usually for me to give a message to someone from a deceased friend or relative. Weird, I know. The style of the poem was new to me but I liked how it made everything come full circle. Great job. Gretchen
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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I never remember them. I wake up laughing and don't know why I'm laughing. Thanks, Gretchen.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
On the other hand I wish I could remember my dreams. I have good dreams and I really don't want to stop what I am doing because then I can't remember what I was doing. I wish I could. Good job with this Yvonne. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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On the other hand I wish I could remember my dreams. I have good dreams and I really don't want to stop what I am doing because then I can't remember what I was doing. I wish I could. Good job with this Yvonne. Nancy:)
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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I know what you mean. I wake up laughing and don't know why I'm laughing.
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are interesting, deep and creative. The author's words
describe well how dreams reveal themselves. I believe so many times
dreams are telling us something. The poem flows and connects well. The
artwork is awesome! I found these word having meaning.
Hi Yvonne, have a great Sunday!....Maria
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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The author's words are interesting, deep and creative. The author's words
describe well how dreams reveal themselves. I believe so many times
dreams are telling us something. The poem flows and connects well. The
artwork is awesome! I found these word having meaning.
Hi Yvonne, have a great Sunday!....Maria
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thank you for a great review.
Comment from ESOSTINE
Some dreams actually stays on as we wake to our discomfort, or joy of answered prayers. It made an interesting read, and I will attempt to write one being my first knowledge of this style of poem. Well done, DAMOMMY
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Some dreams actually stays on as we wake to our discomfort, or joy of answered prayers. It made an interesting read, and I will attempt to write one being my first knowledge of this style of poem. Well done, DAMOMMY
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Let me know when you post yours. In the Potlatch Poetry Club, we do a different poetry form every week.
Comment from BethShelby
I enjoyed your octelle poem. It is well written and I agree that some nighttime dreams don't go away right away with we awaken. Sometimes I have the uncomfortable feeling that I need to follow up on something I was doing in my dream. Often it make no sense but I can't help but feal I'm leaving something undone that needs to be finished.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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I enjoyed your octelle poem. It is well written and I agree that some nighttime dreams don't go away right away with we awaken. Sometimes I have the uncomfortable feeling that I need to follow up on something I was doing in my dream. Often it make no sense but I can't help but feal I'm leaving something undone that needs to be finished.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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I know what you mean. Thanks, Beth.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and presentation.
-A well written poem with a good topic.
-Effective imagery, rhyme, and repeating lines.
-I can relate to dreams hanging around; often
they are the kind you don't want to remember.
-I like your line about wishing they would go away;
I feel the same way!
-Thanks for sharing the poem and have a good day!
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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-Nice artwork and presentation.
-A well written poem with a good topic.
-Effective imagery, rhyme, and repeating lines.
-I can relate to dreams hanging around; often
they are the kind you don't want to remember.
-I like your line about wishing they would go away;
I feel the same way!
-Thanks for sharing the poem and have a good day!
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for reviewing.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Pantygynt
I think you have accomplished what the form requires. Certainly the personification of dreams is well stated. However I di not feel that you had adhered to the given rhyme scheme since all eight lines have the same assonance on the 'ay' sound. this tends to create a monorhyme effect which I do not believe is what the originator of the form intended.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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I think you have accomplished what the form requires. Certainly the personification of dreams is well stated. However I di not feel that you had adhered to the given rhyme scheme since all eight lines have the same assonance on the 'ay' sound. this tends to create a monorhyme effect which I do not believe is what the originator of the form intended.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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You're right. Messed up again. Well, at least I get to hold on to my title, Queen of Goofs. Thanks, Jim.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I sometimes fear my dreams as they are vivid and confusing and I wonder where did such thoughts come from, I am glad you feel the same way, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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I sometimes fear my dreams as they are vivid and confusing and I wonder where did such thoughts come from, I am glad you feel the same way, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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They can be a bit strange sometimes. I wake up laughing and don't know why I'm laughing.
Comment from Wendy G
That's an interesting format, and the repetition gives emphasis. You've used an interesting theme, with dreams personified like people wishing to stress their point. Well done. Lovely presentation.
Weny
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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That's an interesting format, and the repetition gives emphasis. You've used an interesting theme, with dreams personified like people wishing to stress their point. Well done. Lovely presentation.
Weny
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thank you for a lovely review.
