Growing with Nature
Octelle poem for the club challenge9 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We never know our skill in gardening until we try and when we see the results we are in awe of the magic we have in our simple hands to mould nature and encourage her to grow, a fine write and I adored the sentiments here, not only a poem grew, but a rose bud bloomed too, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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We never know our skill in gardening until we try and when we see the results we are in awe of the magic we have in our simple hands to mould nature and encourage her to grow, a fine write and I adored the sentiments here, not only a poem grew, but a rose bud bloomed too, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Thank you so very much, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from AP Apgar
I like your Octelle poem -excellent picture presentation of the subject. Poem flows very well - especially in the first and last lines - nice rhyming quality - in the second stanza may suggest the word 'fertile" in place of unkempt? (has a negative quality when pictured my the reader?) still - keeps your still/quill - ground/found - depth/ inept - still /quill sequence in order -and, brightens your poem? Very nice poem, good job. PS thinking it may too, be compared to your poetic journey? Good Job AP
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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I like your Octelle poem -excellent picture presentation of the subject. Poem flows very well - especially in the first and last lines - nice rhyming quality - in the second stanza may suggest the word 'fertile" in place of unkempt? (has a negative quality when pictured my the reader?) still - keeps your still/quill - ground/found - depth/ inept - still /quill sequence in order -and, brightens your poem? Very nice poem, good job. PS thinking it may too, be compared to your poetic journey? Good Job AP
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Thank you very much for your suggestions and comments, I will have a look, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Wendy G
I love this beautiful presentation, although the font looks a bit heavy. Maybe slightly smaller or not bold - or else with spaces in between lines. But your words are thoughtful - and thought-provoking, using the analogy growing a rose to writing poetry, and of holding the stem of a rose with a quill. Original, and clever. Lovely Octelle.
Wendy
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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I love this beautiful presentation, although the font looks a bit heavy. Maybe slightly smaller or not bold - or else with spaces in between lines. But your words are thoughtful - and thought-provoking, using the analogy growing a rose to writing poetry, and of holding the stem of a rose with a quill. Original, and clever. Lovely Octelle.
Wendy
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Thank you so very much, I took part of your encouragement and spaced some lines, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from lyenochka
I like your metaphorical use of watching the rose buds bloom for us writers learning our craft of writing. As we dig deep into the soil of seeking way to construct poetry, we can feel inept, especially when we are trying to convey the inexpressible beauty of nature.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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I like your metaphorical use of watching the rose buds bloom for us writers learning our craft of writing. As we dig deep into the soil of seeking way to construct poetry, we can feel inept, especially when we are trying to convey the inexpressible beauty of nature.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thank you so very much, as always you are much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from JT traveller
Great octelle. Fantastic command of the rules of poetry and the English language. A pleasure to read.
Your poem is well structured and highlighted by the addition of the rose photograph and selected colour scheme.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Great octelle. Fantastic command of the rules of poetry and the English language. A pleasure to read.
Your poem is well structured and highlighted by the addition of the rose photograph and selected colour scheme.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thank you so very much, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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My pleasure.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I understand and like it much however I feel as if quill should be pluralized, and be spelled with a 's' or quills. Maybe not. You have license to do as you please. No ill intent intended.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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I understand and like it much however I feel as if quill should be pluralized, and be spelled with a 's' or quills. Maybe not. You have license to do as you please. No ill intent intended.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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I see what you mean, I think you may be confusing ill intent with help and encouragement, I may query some reviews, but I do take in what people say, and more often than not they get the points, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent Octelle poem. Good syllables count, rhyme, and repeating lines.
I like the presentation and imagery too. You did a great job with the club challenge.
Well done.
Gypsy hugs
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Excellent Octelle poem. Good syllables count, rhyme, and repeating lines.
I like the presentation and imagery too. You did a great job with the club challenge.
Well done.
Gypsy hugs
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thank you so very much, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from dellsworthpoet
The poem flows well. The images are clear. The narrative stays on point. The presentation is pleasantly understated.
Suggestion:
The forth line is eight syllables. Sixth line is only six syllables. Per the form both should be seven.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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The poem flows well. The images are clear. The narrative stays on point. The presentation is pleasantly understated.
Suggestion:
The forth line is eight syllables. Sixth line is only six syllables. Per the form both should be seven.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thank you, my friend, as I learn to write I had better learn to count, corrected, (many thanks) as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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You are welcome.
Comment from June Sargent
This is a fine example of an octelle for the club. It highlights the experience of being a gardener in a deeper and more personal tone. I enjoyed the read - it flowed nicely with great rhythm and rhyme. Well done.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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This is a fine example of an octelle for the club. It highlights the experience of being a gardener in a deeper and more personal tone. I enjoyed the read - it flowed nicely with great rhythm and rhyme. Well done.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thank you very much, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
