After Eve Arrived
A fractured fairy tale, sort of ...14 total reviews
Comment from Brenda Henderson
What a nuanced way to present an oh so familiar tale of woe. Your narrative has an echo of foreboding throughout. It slowly guides the reader to the finalized eviction of the pair. I hope that you will complete the next chapter. God did not leave us without hope. He provided mankind with a path of redemption and reconciliation to Himself in the person of Jesus Christ. I urge you to do the same. The story doesn't end there. It's only the beginning. We are even now racing towards His expected glorious conclusion and joy eternal. Before our hope began Jesus said "It is finished;" so too is this review. Well Done!
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
What a nuanced way to present an oh so familiar tale of woe. Your narrative has an echo of foreboding throughout. It slowly guides the reader to the finalized eviction of the pair. I hope that you will complete the next chapter. God did not leave us without hope. He provided mankind with a path of redemption and reconciliation to Himself in the person of Jesus Christ. I urge you to do the same. The story doesn't end there. It's only the beginning. We are even now racing towards His expected glorious conclusion and joy eternal. Before our hope began Jesus said "It is finished;" so too is this review. Well Done!
Comment Written 03-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
-
Thank you, especially for the suggestion of a second chapter. Hope springs eternal for man. IF not why do we store all we learn if not useable in the realm to come?
-
Good point. You're Welcome.
Comment from papa55mike
Now that's an interesting take on the first couple of the world. It still gets blamed on Eve, though. What a wonderfully written story. I wish I had a six for you.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
Now that's an interesting take on the first couple of the world. It still gets blamed on Eve, though. What a wonderfully written story. I wish I had a six for you.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 03-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
-
Thank you. Eve reasoned it out in her mind. Maybe not before the bite but surely after when she learned their purpose was to be fruitful and multiply.
Comment from Mary Shifman
And that, my friend, is how women became the scapegoat for all of these many centuries. Your post is clever and interesting and it does remind me a lot of Mark Twain's style.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
And that, my friend, is how women became the scapegoat for all of these many centuries. Your post is clever and interesting and it does remind me a lot of Mark Twain's style.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
-
Any man that is worth his salt knows who wears the pants even if she appears in a skirt. My bread is buttered by my missus. Life has been good 44 years because I learned early how our life was to be. She has never be anything but supportive, because I committed to that fact.
-
You're a lucky man and your wife is a lucky woman. Forty four years of marriage is rare these days. I wish you many, more.
Comment from strandregs
I wrote you a nice little poem
The internet stopped an I lost it.
Anyway always blame the woman
Isn't it the moral of this primal story?
Why else would she be created?
Why was the telly created?
Same.
Your narrative is nurturing and entertaining.
And that, my friends, is how the first apocalypse came to be, and ever since, the world has seen a continuance of catastrophes
And that is why the calipso was born.
To burn burn burn.
:-))Z.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
I wrote you a nice little poem
The internet stopped an I lost it.
Anyway always blame the woman
Isn't it the moral of this primal story?
Why else would she be created?
Why was the telly created?
Same.
Your narrative is nurturing and entertaining.
And that, my friends, is how the first apocalypse came to be, and ever since, the world has seen a continuance of catastrophes
And that is why the calipso was born.
To burn burn burn.
:-))Z.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
-
we are a unique pair, Z.
-
Chocolate Enchelada
Comment from Terry Broxson
Dang, what happened to Tom Horonzy? I guess I was not paying attention and look what happened, he channels Mark Twain with brilliant writing. I didn't see that coming. But wow, this is fun, engaging, and clever. Great work. Terry.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
Dang, what happened to Tom Horonzy? I guess I was not paying attention and look what happened, he channels Mark Twain with brilliant writing. I didn't see that coming. But wow, this is fun, engaging, and clever. Great work. Terry.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
-
Congratulations of your success as runner up best short story author. Don't look back, someone, not me, may be gaining. Nice to hear from you. I thought you had passed. :-()
-
LOL, Not passed just yet. Retired from writing. I only do a few reviews and create a contest or two. Great job on that story. Terry.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Just one look into those eyes in the picture and I'd bet most any of us would have eaten whatever she'd asked us to. I know sure sure I would, more than once. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
Just one look into those eyes in the picture and I'd bet most any of us would have eaten whatever she'd asked us to. I know sure sure I would, more than once. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
-
Whatever? That leaves questionable items on the menu that I wouldn't ask for. :-))
Comment from Richard Montfort Cary
Tom,
What a fun-filled Post!
I was going to recommend the Twain novelette, but then I saw your Author Notes. I had the honor, as an actor, to spend twelve years doing my one-man show And Now: Mark Twain! The first act was several short stories not totally about white washing a fence, and the second act was the Diaries Of Adam And Eve, assembled from several sources over his years of going back and adding this or that story or episode.
Your post was most appreciated! Nice job.
Richard
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
Tom,
What a fun-filled Post!
I was going to recommend the Twain novelette, but then I saw your Author Notes. I had the honor, as an actor, to spend twelve years doing my one-man show And Now: Mark Twain! The first act was several short stories not totally about white washing a fence, and the second act was the Diaries Of Adam And Eve, assembled from several sources over his years of going back and adding this or that story or episode.
Your post was most appreciated! Nice job.
Richard
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
-
I saw Twain's works on my library shelf and was called to see if there were any novelette's I passed and the Diary was one so I began reading it Friday and thought I could do this as well, and tried. Thanks.
-
:>)
Comment from Sugarray77
You have done a great job with this story, Tom. Twain's Adam and Eve story is one of my all-time favorites and always makes me chuckle. Yours is very good too and plays off of the same sentiment. I enjoyed it!!!
Melissa
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
You have done a great job with this story, Tom. Twain's Adam and Eve story is one of my all-time favorites and always makes me chuckle. Yours is very good too and plays off of the same sentiment. I enjoyed it!!!
Melissa
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
-
If one cannot laugh at this story by Twain, they are liking dead. Be well.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
What a delightful and fun to read first thing Monday morning particularly, when I needed a smile the most.
I enjoyed reading both for the fractured spin and the ending of how mankind's stupidity is responsible for the catastrophes they have wrought.
Brilliantly done.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
What a delightful and fun to read first thing Monday morning particularly, when I needed a smile the most.
I enjoyed reading both for the fractured spin and the ending of how mankind's stupidity is responsible for the catastrophes they have wrought.
Brilliantly done.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
-
Thanks Mary. May the rest of your day be full of smiles.
Comment from BethShelby
This was a very entertaining version of what took place right after creation. Adam sort of wished God had left things alone, huh? He didn't have the natural instinct of how to go about making babies until Eve taught him the end and outs. LOL I got some real chuckles from this more elaborated version. Nicely written.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
This was a very entertaining version of what took place right after creation. Adam sort of wished God had left things alone, huh? He didn't have the natural instinct of how to go about making babies until Eve taught him the end and outs. LOL I got some real chuckles from this more elaborated version. Nicely written.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
-
Eve did not know either; and that is the conundrum. God said don't eat of the tree of knowledge, but the pair couldn't make babies for they lack how to make it happen until she partook Thank you.
-
Looks like with their superior intelligence had, they might have gotten a clue from watching the animals. Actually it wouldn't have been very fair of God to command them to reproduce and then forbid them access to the knowledge of how to do it. LOL