Comment from Mark Kuglin

Average

I applaud your efforts with hitting the syllable count.

In its current length, your piece is too straightforward.

The outcome/closing doesn't pop, move or strike a chord.

I strongly suggest converting this into a much longer piece. What I stated above about your poem works in this instance....It would set the stage in a somewhat vague way.

The payoff, the impact on your reader or the emotions you evoke, would come in later stanzas; where you detail what makes Chonchita so sweet.

Think about comparisons...

Ex:
She's like a...
She reminds me of...
She's so different than...

I hope this helps.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

---

reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023

Thanks

reply by Mark Kuglin on 10-Feb-2023

My pleasure

Comment from Wyon Stansfeld

Good

Good rhyming and the subject matter goes with the picture as does the background colour. Dont know what more can be said about 15 syllables without straying from the subject.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

---

reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023

Thank you so much

Comment from karenina

Excellent

The second rhyming verse I've read in this contest ~ is very impressive given the fifteen-syllable constraints! The image is a bit blurry (maybe it could be sized down a bit?) ... and your font is very small (maybe it could be sized up a bit?)

Just suggestions. It's fine!

Good luck in the contest!

Karenina

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

---

reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023

Thank you so much for your review. I agree with what you say about the presentation but I am totally crap at the technical side. I have tried and tried to improve it but just can?t.

reply by karenina on 09-Feb-2023

I'm no techie myself! Many are the pictures I've had to give up on because they won't upload or conform to the site requirements for size...

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

I fine name and it matches Senorita perfectly here, a Spanish lady is your sweetheart, I wish you luck with the contest, a sweet loving write, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2023

---

reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023

Thanks a lot Dolly. X

Comment from jessizero

Excellent

I liked your fifteen-syllable poem. (Yes, I counted, and you did a great job.) I also liked your rhymes. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2023

---

reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023

Thanks for the great review. Much appreciated.