Tanka Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 102 "Sags on Blades of Grass"Romantic Tanka Poems
15 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
Very nicely written tanka. Beautiful imagery easy to picture and the resolution one of fact.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Gloria
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Very nicely written tanka. Beautiful imagery easy to picture and the resolution one of fact.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Gloria
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Thank you very much for the exceptional six stars review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from aryr
What a wonderful tanka, Gypsy. The pictures were fantastic the grass and the sunflower, they were also amazing in that they identified the concern. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed be n hugs!
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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What a wonderful tanka, Gypsy. The pictures were fantastic the grass and the sunflower, they were also amazing in that they identified the concern. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed be n hugs!
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback. Blessed be.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from karenina
Hello, again, Big Sister. I've been AWOL. So nice to happen upon this beautiful work and be reminded of your deft hand and skillful art of words and imagery! Is there anything sadder than the sunflower, wilted, having lost the glory of the halcyon days? And yet, we still remember the beauty!
Karenina
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Hello, again, Big Sister. I've been AWOL. So nice to happen upon this beautiful work and be reminded of your deft hand and skillful art of words and imagery! Is there anything sadder than the sunflower, wilted, having lost the glory of the halcyon days? And yet, we still remember the beauty!
Karenina
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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How are you, little sister?
Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
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I am healing! Hanging on with both hands and getting better.
Thanks for asking!
Comment from Terry Broxson
The Master of the haiku takes on a Tanka. I do love sunflowers. Before getting old and moving into my retirement condo, I used to feed the birds. One of the benefits was sunflowers growing wild from the seeds the birds missed. Beautifully done. Terry.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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The Master of the haiku takes on a Tanka. I do love sunflowers. Before getting old and moving into my retirement condo, I used to feed the birds. One of the benefits was sunflowers growing wild from the seeds the birds missed. Beautifully done. Terry.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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I love to write tanka, i write it a lot.
Thank you very much. Terry, for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
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I recently watched a movie, "Emperor," starring Tommy Lee Jones as General Macarthur. The movie was about what to do about the Emperor of Japan right after the war ended. A Tanka poem was a key element in the communication between the Japanese leaders.
Comment from AP Apgar
I like your modern tanka poem- nice picture presentation- supporting description - explaining why it's head is bent - heavy- couple of suggestions? Evoking the 'modern or less rule- Perhaps a better word for Elapsed'(forgotten youth) might be "soon ' ? Breaks the word log jam- and , 'soaking sultry sunshine- perhaps 'soaked in sultry days'- why you ask? One- you have a picture of the sunflower/the word sunflower and sunshine- takes away from the satori- plus sunshine isn't sultry- geo location- environment is - perhaps' - soaked in humid or sultry days' ? Just some hair brain ideas - good job! Hug AP
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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I like your modern tanka poem- nice picture presentation- supporting description - explaining why it's head is bent - heavy- couple of suggestions? Evoking the 'modern or less rule- Perhaps a better word for Elapsed'(forgotten youth) might be "soon ' ? Breaks the word log jam- and , 'soaking sultry sunshine- perhaps 'soaked in sultry days'- why you ask? One- you have a picture of the sunflower/the word sunflower and sunshine- takes away from the satori- plus sunshine isn't sultry- geo location- environment is - perhaps' - soaked in humid or sultry days' ? Just some hair brain ideas - good job! Hug AP
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you for the suggestions. I worked on it and came up with something that is more me. I am trying to create a visual poem.
thank you for the review, AP. I hope you are having a great weekend.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from barbara.wilkey
soaking sultry sunshine --
the sunflower (great alliteration!)
Sitting on grass in the sunshine pondering on our youthful memories. It doesn't get much better than that, then throw in a few sunflowers and life is perfect. Thank you for creating this scene for us.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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soaking sultry sunshine --
the sunflower (great alliteration!)
Sitting on grass in the sunshine pondering on our youthful memories. It doesn't get much better than that, then throw in a few sunflowers and life is perfect. Thank you for creating this scene for us.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I love the alliteration in the last two lines. I also like the metaphor in the second line. Your Tankas are full of meaning and style. The multi-colored presentation works well.
Well done.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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I love the alliteration in the last two lines. I also like the metaphor in the second line. Your Tankas are full of meaning and style. The multi-colored presentation works well.
Well done.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Ricky1024
I like this and when I was reading I think of Walt Whitman's "Leaves of Grass"
Unfortunately nothing lasts forever and also we have to go through a decade by decade aging process.
Thanks for sharing this and have a blessed day.
Doctor Ricky
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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I like this and when I was reading I think of Walt Whitman's "Leaves of Grass"
Unfortunately nothing lasts forever and also we have to go through a decade by decade aging process.
Thanks for sharing this and have a blessed day.
Doctor Ricky
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
The sunflower is one of the most beautiful flowers I know. It always seems sad to see it with its head bowed, as though in submission, but in your clever Tanka poem you have given that a reason. kay
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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The sunflower is one of the most beautiful flowers I know. It always seems sad to see it with its head bowed, as though in submission, but in your clever Tanka poem you have given that a reason. kay
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from lyenochka
I do like the alliterative "soaking sultry sunshine." I wonder if you meant "heavy weight" instead of the boxing "heavyweight"? Or was that word play? I imagined the sunflower bending because of the heaviness of its flower head as it matured. Great presentation as always!
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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I do like the alliterative "soaking sultry sunshine." I wonder if you meant "heavy weight" instead of the boxing "heavyweight"? Or was that word play? I imagined the sunflower bending because of the heaviness of its flower head as it matured. Great presentation as always!
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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I wrote heavy weight, and the app 'Grammarly' auto corrected to one word. I fixed it. Thank you!
Thank you for the kind and helpful review. Love you, big sister.
Marival ❤️
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Darn that Grammarly! I don't trust that software. 😊
