Heart Crafted Poems - 2023
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Earth's Garden"Musing of an old man
26 total reviews
Comment from Kaiku
I need to catch up on mythology as I was not familiar with a couple of your people: Selene and Actaeon. Now I am. I think of the Ode to the Grecian Urn. Been sometime since I read that piece. Good luck in the club event.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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I need to catch up on mythology as I was not familiar with a couple of your people: Selene and Actaeon. Now I am. I think of the Ode to the Grecian Urn. Been sometime since I read that piece. Good luck in the club event.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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Thanks
Comment from JT traveller
A very interesting read with a unique view of humanity's destruction of our very own world.
This line,
"...while at dark of night the owl wept..."
I felt was a metaphor for the many people who see the destruction happening before our very own eyes.
Well composed. I enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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A very interesting read with a unique view of humanity's destruction of our very own world.
This line,
"...while at dark of night the owl wept..."
I felt was a metaphor for the many people who see the destruction happening before our very own eyes.
Well composed. I enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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JT. Thank you for your wise comment.
Comment from Paul McFarland
You have hit the nail on the head with this one, Jim. Man has done his best to screw up this planet. I can't imagine what this place will look like in another hundred years - if we make it that long.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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You have hit the nail on the head with this one, Jim. Man has done his best to screw up this planet. I can't imagine what this place will look like in another hundred years - if we make it that long.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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Paul, for one I am glad I will be far along my spiritual travelers by then. But I am quite concerned for our grandchildren children.
Comment from lyenochka
I like your use of archaic language to share about this time before when also the contrasts between the pure Eden and the collapse after the Fall. Nicely done Irregular Ode.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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I like your use of archaic language to share about this time before when also the contrasts between the pure Eden and the collapse after the Fall. Nicely done Irregular Ode.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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Thank you for for validation, My effort has some rough patches which I will attempt to smooth out.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Interesting Ode poem with iambic meter and rhyme. Good interpretation of what happened in the garden of eden.
Excellent poem for the potlatch challenge.
The rhymes and meter didn't seem forced and it flows well.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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Interesting Ode poem with iambic meter and rhyme. Good interpretation of what happened in the garden of eden.
Excellent poem for the potlatch challenge.
The rhymes and meter didn't seem forced and it flows well.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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Thank you!
Comment from jacquelyn popp
Great poem. Very nicely done. Your words flowed smoothly and mad an enjoyable read. Great job with the descriptive words and it made your poem rich in imagery. Very nice artwork and it went well with your poem. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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Great poem. Very nicely done. Your words flowed smoothly and mad an enjoyable read. Great job with the descriptive words and it made your poem rich in imagery. Very nice artwork and it went well with your poem. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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Thank you!
Comment from royowen
How interesting to write an irregular ode, I wonder where it came from, somebody playing with rhythm and rhyme. But a great attempt Jim, I've seen a few in the past, good take on the Eden affair, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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How interesting to write an irregular ode, I wonder where it came from, somebody playing with rhythm and rhyme. But a great attempt Jim, I've seen a few in the past, good take on the Eden affair, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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Thank you friend!
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Welcome
Comment from Eleri
This is a beautiful poem that reads well and I like the sporadic rhyming. However, the poem is full of spelling mistakes. For example, in the second line it should be 'Earth's' not 'Earths', in the sixth line 'Trees feet' should be 'Trees' feet', and it should be 'disease' not 'dis-ease' third line from the end. You seem to be confused as to when to use plural and when to use an apostrophe such as in the third line from the end do you mean animals' plural or animal's singular? Also, when you talk about the star's brilliance do you mean one star or many stars, in which case it should be the stars' brilliance. Normally I would not point out these mistakes but in this case they do impact upon what the poem actually means so I think you should have another look at them. The poem is good apart from these errors so it is definitely worth looking at your spelling here so that the poem makes more sense to everybody who reads it.
Eleri
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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This is a beautiful poem that reads well and I like the sporadic rhyming. However, the poem is full of spelling mistakes. For example, in the second line it should be 'Earth's' not 'Earths', in the sixth line 'Trees feet' should be 'Trees' feet', and it should be 'disease' not 'dis-ease' third line from the end. You seem to be confused as to when to use plural and when to use an apostrophe such as in the third line from the end do you mean animals' plural or animal's singular? Also, when you talk about the star's brilliance do you mean one star or many stars, in which case it should be the stars' brilliance. Normally I would not point out these mistakes but in this case they do impact upon what the poem actually means so I think you should have another look at them. The poem is good apart from these errors so it is definitely worth looking at your spelling here so that the poem makes more sense to everybody who reads it.
Eleri
Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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Eliri, thank always for your thoughtful comments, My effort has some rough patches which I will attempt to smooth out.
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Jim,
This is a good mix of reality and fantasy to remind us of the beauty of nature that is a gift we are squandering away by not taking care of it as we should.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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Hi Jim,
This is a good mix of reality and fantasy to remind us of the beauty of nature that is a gift we are squandering away by not taking care of it as we should.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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Joan, thank you!
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No problem, Jim.
Joan
Comment from karenina
What an interesting form! I am afraid I do not know enough to comment on meter, although overall one line flows nicely into the next. We humans sure know how to mess up a good thing don't we? I was anticipating what line would feature a word that rhymed with "sparkled." If you've tucked it in here I couldn't find it...
A reflective and lyrical read...
**Addendum: The author cleverly took up the challenge and ingeniously came up with "are killed" to rhyme with "sparkled!" Kudos! That is one tough word to rhyme!
Karenina
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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What an interesting form! I am afraid I do not know enough to comment on meter, although overall one line flows nicely into the next. We humans sure know how to mess up a good thing don't we? I was anticipating what line would feature a word that rhymed with "sparkled." If you've tucked it in here I couldn't find it...
A reflective and lyrical read...
**Addendum: The author cleverly took up the challenge and ingeniously came up with "are killed" to rhyme with "sparkled!" Kudos! That is one tough word to rhyme!
Karenina
Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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Hummm ... better revisit this oops😒😒
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I'm the queen of "oops" ~ so no problem there!
