Comment from Eternal Muse

Excellent

Gypsy, this was absolutely beautiful! A love poem at its best, with unique imagery and visuals.

Your presentation is fantastic, and is so fitting for this poem. Wonderful choice of an artwork.

This was a real Valentine's day treat.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023

Thank you very much for reading my poem and the excellent review. Have a wonderful weekend.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from jacquelyn popp

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your Tanka poem. An awesome picture that goes well with your poem. Your poem has a good flow to it. I liked your idea of using different colors to break the stanzas, very creative. This was a very powerful, and moving Tank about love and obsession of love verging on lust to read. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023

Thank you very much, I appreciate that you took the time to read and review my poem.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from AP Apgar

Excellent

I like your Tanka poem- extremely cool picture presentation- poem has a good flow and using different colors to beak the stanzas is good- only suggest might be the use of an additional'break' {-) pause after 'nourish' before water- - good job AP

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023

You catch have 2 dashes in a line and I have them where the top lines break with the low lines.

Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

Gypsy hugs

Gypsy hugs

reply by AP Apgar on 16-Feb-2023

I didn?t know you couldn?t have two pauses- good to know- so what should we use? ,,,?s - ;;; - we can use normal punctuation I think- right? I do some times at the end of the first line- try not to-

reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023

It depends on what you write but overall, punctuation is avoided in haiku and tanka. You want to have a smooth flow with no interruptions or it sounds like a grocery list or a telegram. In some occasions you can add a comma or ellipsis... for a soft pause but it's rare. Haiku are so short, in Japan they explain it as a haiku should be a breath long. Give me an example.

reply by AP Apgar on 17-Feb-2023

It is what makes Haiku so interesting to write- example- not sounding like a telegram- while at the same time avoiding or minimizing conjunctions and punctuation! - 17 or less. And
adhering to the rules of grammar- this could take a lifetime to perfect!!! One breath at a time! Thanks AP

reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023

I'm a very visual intuitive person so haiku is easy to me. You will get better with practice, I can tell you have improved. Keep in mind that you want as succinct as possible WITHOUT SACRIFICING a good grammatical phrase. That comes with practice. I do away with articles in a draft and then read it aloud to myself, if it needs a 'the', 'an', 'a', etc...I add it.

Comment from jake cosmos aller

Excellent

a very powerful and moving Tanka about love and obsession of love verging on lust. I like the last lines the best. I like comparing love to wine and more than water.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023

Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Mike Stevens

Excellent

Another fine poem, Gypsy----and the Horn Dog of the Streets is coming for you--err-- let me rephrase that, is on the prowl for dessert after a meal and is forever hungry!

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023

Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I thought the previous poem was rich with descriptions. This poem is even better with descriptions. I often don't see them in poetry. Not only do you present a wonderful package, but you give us rich vocabulary. Thank you.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023

Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from aryr

Excellent

A fantastic dual picture, Gypsy, the lady looking down on the lady in the street light was remarkable and the roses at the end were amazing. Your words were amazing. Great job. Blessed be n Hugs!!!

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023

Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback. Blessed be.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Sarah Tummey

Excellent

Hi, Gypsy. I really enjoyed this poem. Here, Ambrosia is a brand of rice pudding, so when I think lips dipped in Ambrosia, I think sweet and creamy.

My favourite part of your poem was "I roam vacant streets, starved for your burning passion". It reminded me of a chapter in the Bible where the bridegroom has gone away and the restless bride goes out looking for what she once had (Song of Solomon 5).

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023

Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Rosemary Everson1

Excellent

Another romantic poem that you have written or painted in our minds. Love definitely makes the world go round. Trying to find the right person can bring heartaches.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023

Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Mary Vigasin

Excellent

A sensuous and very passionate Tanka, Gypsy. It is rich in imagery and sets the mood quite well.
It is fascinating and beautiful.
Well done.
best wishes,
Mary

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023

Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

Gypsy hugs