Shock
Horror story18 total reviews
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Hi there Mystery Writer. I loved your story and I just gave you your tying vote for first place. I hope it keeps you there now. What an eerie story but it was fun to read, as I was not expecting that outcome. Shock was very well written and I hope you at least tie if not move one more for a win on your own. good luck as it was an awesome job!!!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Hi there Mystery Writer. I loved your story and I just gave you your tying vote for first place. I hope it keeps you there now. What an eerie story but it was fun to read, as I was not expecting that outcome. Shock was very well written and I hope you at least tie if not move one more for a win on your own. good luck as it was an awesome job!!!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Thanks for the great review Debi.x
Comment from jessizero
Yes, I'd say that's a surprise! You did an excellent job with the Surprise! prompt with your 80 words. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Yes, I'd say that's a surprise! You did an excellent job with the Surprise! prompt with your 80 words. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much.
Comment from w.j.debi
Yes, that would be a shock to drive up and find yourself as the victim of a car crash. You tell a complete story in your 80 words. This also would make a great beginning to a longer story and how the driver deals with his new state of being. Kind of like the movie "Ghost".
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Yes, that would be a shock to drive up and find yourself as the victim of a car crash. You tell a complete story in your 80 words. This also would make a great beginning to a longer story and how the driver deals with his new state of being. Kind of like the movie "Ghost".
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much.
Comment from JT traveller
Oh wow! Startling conclusion. Fantastic interpretation of the competition instructions. I love it.
The tempo of your prose builds to an amazing crescendo.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Oh wow! Startling conclusion. Fantastic interpretation of the competition instructions. I love it.
The tempo of your prose builds to an amazing crescendo.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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I love your review. Thank you so much.
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I review as I see. Some agree, some don't. I particularly enjoyed your writing.
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I?d love to know who you are
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A little mystery deepens the impact. 😊
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Maybe after the contest?😜
Comment from tempeste
Ciao author! You now have 9 votes.
I do believe in premonition,
Never happened to me though.
Most likely I would freak out.
I had no idea where you were heading with your narrative but I enjoyed how it ended!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Ciao author! You now have 9 votes.
I do believe in premonition,
Never happened to me though.
Most likely I would freak out.
I had no idea where you were heading with your narrative but I enjoyed how it ended!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Much appreciated.
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You are welcome ! 🫠
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
It is horrible to come upon an accident. We had that happened last week here. The road was blocked off. There was no body that laid in the road, but there was a fire up ahead. Liked your surprise story.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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It is horrible to come upon an accident. We had that happened last week here. The road was blocked off. There was no body that laid in the road, but there was a fire up ahead. Liked your surprise story.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much Rosemary.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Now that certainly was a surprise! I often wonder if you do see what's going on after you die. I thought you wrote this really well, it told a whole story, and the plot was excellent! Very well done. Good luck! :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Now that certainly was a surprise! I often wonder if you do see what's going on after you die. I thought you wrote this really well, it told a whole story, and the plot was excellent! Very well done. Good luck! :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Many thanks Sandra. So glad you like it.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Wonderful poem entry for the Surprise! 80 Words or Less writing prompt contest. Pretty creepy, the way I like it. :)
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Wonderful poem entry for the Surprise! 80 Words or Less writing prompt contest. Pretty creepy, the way I like it. :)
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Many thanks Gypsy. So glad you like it.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
This feels like a twist for its own sake. There's no indication or inkling and it doesn't add up really. I get what you're going for but all there is is the twist. No hint, allusion or breadcrumb before.
I think it needs something more.
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Hi there,
This feels like a twist for its own sake. There's no indication or inkling and it doesn't add up really. I get what you're going for but all there is is the twist. No hint, allusion or breadcrumb before.
I think it needs something more.
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Thanks for reading and reviewing. Perhaps I needed a few more words to play with. 80 is so few.
Comment from Jamison Brown
As a fan of Flash, I like this story. Good concept with a surprise ending. Not much more you could do with 80 words. A few edits to consider:
my late shift, tired and longing
my late shift, I was tired and longing.
As I neared my turn off I saw
As I neared my turnoff, I saw
I slowed down and stopped as there
I slowed down and stopped, as there
Best wishes on the contest. - Jamison
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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As a fan of Flash, I like this story. Good concept with a surprise ending. Not much more you could do with 80 words. A few edits to consider:
my late shift, tired and longing
my late shift, I was tired and longing.
As I neared my turn off I saw
As I neared my turnoff, I saw
I slowed down and stopped as there
I slowed down and stopped, as there
Best wishes on the contest. - Jamison
Comment Written 21-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing
