Shadow's Run
Hope hides in the shadows.53 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
Inspired theme, delivered with well-cadenced rhymes. Great flow, lyrical and fluid.
I particularly loved the closing stanza and the eight stanza.
This flows so nicely. However, it is slightly hampered by the face of using random punctuation in the first stanzas and then none in the other stanzas. I recommend removing all end-line punctuation (periods) and only keep the internal commas where needed.
Also, the 'H' needs to be capped in the dialog: "Help me, please"
My favorite lines are:
To give is to get
Reprieve from regret.
Nice to meet you! I used to be super active here, for over a decade, but now I only visit on occasion.
Hope to read more from you soon.
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Inspired theme, delivered with well-cadenced rhymes. Great flow, lyrical and fluid.
I particularly loved the closing stanza and the eight stanza.
This flows so nicely. However, it is slightly hampered by the face of using random punctuation in the first stanzas and then none in the other stanzas. I recommend removing all end-line punctuation (periods) and only keep the internal commas where needed.
Also, the 'H' needs to be capped in the dialog: "Help me, please"
My favorite lines are:
To give is to get
Reprieve from regret.
Nice to meet you! I used to be super active here, for over a decade, but now I only visit on occasion.
Hope to read more from you soon.
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the review and your kind words. The punctuation suggestions make sense, and I will be editing. I appreciate your help.
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Happy to help. Thanks!
Comment from John Ciarmello
A beautiful milestone post, Nicki! I believe this tells of an inner struggle. A struggle that is observed from the outside looking in. The work to make it all right is hard, and so you joined and ended the shadows run. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2023
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A beautiful milestone post, Nicki! I believe this tells of an inner struggle. A struggle that is observed from the outside looking in. The work to make it all right is hard, and so you joined and ended the shadows run. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 28-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2023
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Thank you, John, for your review and thoughtful interpretation.
Comment from Gikius Aski
Truly an amazing poem, so well said and described with very good order and flow. I don't yet know much about poetry but I just might have to read more of your poems to do it.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2023
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Truly an amazing poem, so well said and described with very good order and flow. I don't yet know much about poetry but I just might have to read more of your poems to do it.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2023
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Thanks for the review and your kind words. I learn more every day.
Comment from LisaMay
What sprang to my mind when I read this was: 'The Lord helps those who help themselves... and who help others.' Your cleverly constructed poem takes the reader into a psychological realm of passive apathy and disengagement into a brighter future, connected with humanity, grateful for blessings.
The rhyming couplets are simply expressed but carry a depth of meaning.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2023
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What sprang to my mind when I read this was: 'The Lord helps those who help themselves... and who help others.' Your cleverly constructed poem takes the reader into a psychological realm of passive apathy and disengagement into a brighter future, connected with humanity, grateful for blessings.
The rhyming couplets are simply expressed but carry a depth of meaning.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2023
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Thank you for the review and your kind words.
Comment from Boogienights
This is a very creative piece of rhyming poetry, I love the imagery in it. I like how you discovered the other part of yourself in the shadows, and that it made all the difference. Best of luck in the contest. :)
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2023
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This is a very creative piece of rhyming poetry, I love the imagery in it. I like how you discovered the other part of yourself in the shadows, and that it made all the difference. Best of luck in the contest. :)
Comment Written 28-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2023
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Thanks for the review and your kind words
Comment from Dr. Von
I enjoyed reading this piece. Your rhyme scheme is beautifully constructed. I like the words you chose to reflect the movement of mood. The expression of sadness and depression is supported by strong artwork. The resolution is hopeful and solid. Good writing.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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I enjoyed reading this piece. Your rhyme scheme is beautifully constructed. I like the words you chose to reflect the movement of mood. The expression of sadness and depression is supported by strong artwork. The resolution is hopeful and solid. Good writing.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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Dr. Von, thank you so much for the review and your thoughtful comments. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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You are welcome.
Comment from karenina
Congrats on Mileston Post 50! You got here quickly, and I know I've enjoyed each of the pieces you've offered, that I've had the opportunity to read. Excellent rhymes in shorter lines that engage this reader and move the theme along from some sadness and/or depression to a positive decision to engage with the world! It's difficult to remain entrenched in our own woe while reaching out to help someone else. I hope the committee gives this a good hard look! Best of luck to you!
Karenina
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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Congrats on Mileston Post 50! You got here quickly, and I know I've enjoyed each of the pieces you've offered, that I've had the opportunity to read. Excellent rhymes in shorter lines that engage this reader and move the theme along from some sadness and/or depression to a positive decision to engage with the world! It's difficult to remain entrenched in our own woe while reaching out to help someone else. I hope the committee gives this a good hard look! Best of luck to you!
Karenina
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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Thanks for the kind and encouraging words, Karenina. I think sometimes all that prevents people from helping is that they haven't looked up tp see what's going on.
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Yet another reason to cease focusing on only our own difficulties!
Comment from Brandon Clark
You really did well on this! Your word choice was excellent and creates a vivid image to the reader. The pace was great as well!
Good luck in the contest,
Brandon
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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You really did well on this! Your word choice was excellent and creates a vivid image to the reader. The pace was great as well!
Good luck in the contest,
Brandon
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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Brandon, thank you so much for your review and kind words.
Comment from LJbutterfly
I most enjoyed your clear descriptions of actions (I dropped into my chair...I go back to bed...I turn off the news...I reached out a warm hand...I silently listened), all leading to the powerful message, "to give is to get." Congratulations on your 50th post, and best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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I most enjoyed your clear descriptions of actions (I dropped into my chair...I go back to bed...I turn off the news...I reached out a warm hand...I silently listened), all leading to the powerful message, "to give is to get." Congratulations on your 50th post, and best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for your your review and your impressions.
Comment from Mintybee
This was a great rhyming poem. The flow was good, and the message was inspiring. I loved, "Give the shamed your embrace/ Give the troubled your grace." What a beautiful couplet. The metaphor was interesting. This poem moved from the tossing and turning of a troubled mind, to a heart healing. Very well done.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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This was a great rhyming poem. The flow was good, and the message was inspiring. I loved, "Give the shamed your embrace/ Give the troubled your grace." What a beautiful couplet. The metaphor was interesting. This poem moved from the tossing and turning of a troubled mind, to a heart healing. Very well done.
Mintybee
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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Thanks for the review and your kind words, Mintybee. I appreciate it.
