Fractured Faith
A No Rules~Free Verse14 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is superb, Sandra! I love your free style and naturally expressed verse which shares so honestly and poignantly the disillusion you've experienced in your "fractured faith." Your words have great impact and I was stunningly engaged from the start. Thank you for sharing this impressive work with no hint of acrimony, just a pure and compelling plea for equality and truth. Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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This is superb, Sandra! I love your free style and naturally expressed verse which shares so honestly and poignantly the disillusion you've experienced in your "fractured faith." Your words have great impact and I was stunningly engaged from the start. Thank you for sharing this impressive work with no hint of acrimony, just a pure and compelling plea for equality and truth. Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 01-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your comments, understanding and the extra star. I always try to express hard ideas without acrimony. Acrimony makes the message not be received as readily. Thanks again!
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Something made me save this six stars. It was meant for you, and this extraordinary and beautifully written, authentically crafted masterpiece, really. ;)
There was so much here. It's all true and very sad for anyone who is human. May Main and the top many beautiful Children of God, rest in the warm beautiful Love if God, eternity. I was a teacher, for decades, in New York and New Jersey. My jobs were in schools and communities with mostly black and brown students and families. Big Momma's worked with me to help the children we both loved. I had to stop teaching when my MS got worse, and I miss the kids, the ones that didn't have a lot and could hear me tell them that I could see all they did have. I spent time on the phone at home, on a 3 person call, the child, me, and either Big Momma or Auntie or Mama. They sang Church songs with me, because they gave me a folder with the songs. The best days of my life were spent with them and I think of them all and pray for them as if they were my own family. We are all God's Children, so I feel they were and are. I vote and I try to vote for people who have the goal of keeping black children, and adults, like moms giving birth, or dad's driving while black are stopped. I'm sorry this poem is a poem that includes a young innocent death. You are a good friend.
Much Peace to You!
Alexandra
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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Something made me save this six stars. It was meant for you, and this extraordinary and beautifully written, authentically crafted masterpiece, really. ;)
There was so much here. It's all true and very sad for anyone who is human. May Main and the top many beautiful Children of God, rest in the warm beautiful Love if God, eternity. I was a teacher, for decades, in New York and New Jersey. My jobs were in schools and communities with mostly black and brown students and families. Big Momma's worked with me to help the children we both loved. I had to stop teaching when my MS got worse, and I miss the kids, the ones that didn't have a lot and could hear me tell them that I could see all they did have. I spent time on the phone at home, on a 3 person call, the child, me, and either Big Momma or Auntie or Mama. They sang Church songs with me, because they gave me a folder with the songs. The best days of my life were spent with them and I think of them all and pray for them as if they were my own family. We are all God's Children, so I feel they were and are. I vote and I try to vote for people who have the goal of keeping black children, and adults, like moms giving birth, or dad's driving while black are stopped. I'm sorry this poem is a poem that includes a young innocent death. You are a good friend.
Much Peace to You!
Alexandra
Comment Written 01-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your comments, understanding and the extra star. You sound like a wonderful teacher, the kind many inner-city children need. I appreciate you for being that type of educator. I too was that type of teacher in a poor rural area. Blessings to you and all you have saved with your kindness.
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Thank you so much! Bless you, too. Your thoughtful words have truly lifted my spirit, today.
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I'm glad. We need more kindness in this world.💙
Comment from w.j.debi
This has to be a strong contender in the contest. Your narrative voice is engaging and sincere. The story is tragic. It always sad when someone dies unnecessarily, especially a child. My father was an EMT. He handled death well, except for the kids. Those always bothered him.
Just one thing to suggest. The final line is difficult to read and I had to strain to see it because the black fades into that dark background. Maybe consider a lighter color. That line deserves to stand out.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2023
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This has to be a strong contender in the contest. Your narrative voice is engaging and sincere. The story is tragic. It always sad when someone dies unnecessarily, especially a child. My father was an EMT. He handled death well, except for the kids. Those always bothered him.
Just one thing to suggest. The final line is difficult to read and I had to strain to see it because the black fades into that dark background. Maybe consider a lighter color. That line deserves to stand out.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2023
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Thanks for your supportive review and suggestion. See if I made the last line better. I wanted the last two lines to be in black and white.
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Yes. That is much better. i stands out.
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Thanks for the suggestion.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
I'd gladly give you ALL my sixes this week just for this free-style poem alone.
So flagrantly honest, with not one syllable of confrontation or provocation. Just the honest telling of a situation that occurred.
I've always admired that about your work: just the facts, nothing inflammatory. And it evokes such extremely strong reactions in me every time I read your work. No hyperbole: you are a seriously gifted writer.
These two phrases I repeated many times because I found them to be so exceptional:
Ropes of regret.
Death is greedy and an equal opportunity provider.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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I'd gladly give you ALL my sixes this week just for this free-style poem alone.
So flagrantly honest, with not one syllable of confrontation or provocation. Just the honest telling of a situation that occurred.
I've always admired that about your work: just the facts, nothing inflammatory. And it evokes such extremely strong reactions in me every time I read your work. No hyperbole: you are a seriously gifted writer.
These two phrases I repeated many times because I found them to be so exceptional:
Ropes of regret.
Death is greedy and an equal opportunity provider.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much, Rache, for this exceptional rating. I appreciated your comments and you. Your support is always appreciated.
Comment from royowen
There was a white Australian girl married to an American who called the police to report a disturbing and suspicious incident, she was shot and killed by a black cop who thought she was armed, she wasn't, just someone doing her civic duty, racial tension is manifold we don't have those "accidents" here, not many own guns, I believe blacks kill blacks in South Chicago. But this is a tragedy, no wonder police are nervous when ordinary people have guns, no wonder, they're scared too. Well done blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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There was a white Australian girl married to an American who called the police to report a disturbing and suspicious incident, she was shot and killed by a black cop who thought she was armed, she wasn't, just someone doing her civic duty, racial tension is manifold we don't have those "accidents" here, not many own guns, I believe blacks kill blacks in South Chicago. But this is a tragedy, no wonder police are nervous when ordinary people have guns, no wonder, they're scared too. Well done blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Yes, I know of that incident. Thanks for your review.
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Bless you
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It sounds like your Grandma was wise and protective of you Sandra. You describe some tragic incidents here Sandra and I am sorry you had to witness tragedy in your childhood. It sounds like being black was tough growing up in you town. The word chap is used in British English and it referred to a woman's boyfriend. I am hoping today's society has improved for all ethic groups and for women who have also been discriminated against, a poignant write about your youth here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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It sounds like your Grandma was wise and protective of you Sandra. You describe some tragic incidents here Sandra and I am sorry you had to witness tragedy in your childhood. It sounds like being black was tough growing up in you town. The word chap is used in British English and it referred to a woman's boyfriend. I am hoping today's society has improved for all ethic groups and for women who have also been discriminated against, a poignant write about your youth here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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It's not my personal story. It's an imaginary character telling his or her story. I am not the narrator, but some inner-city kid is. Thanks for your review.
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Okay x
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I have to give a six star for this heartbreaking and raw pleas to save young men from dying far too soon. Your words are beautifully penned to tell the pain of black children.
I grew up in a public housing project where supper was often ketchup sandwiches, but we had an area where they had large showers to play in and keep cool. In discussing growing up with A black friend who grew up just outside the projects, she showed me her life through her eyes growing up. She envied us "rich" white kids for having that shower in the summer. She often stood just outside watching us play.
Good luck in the contest.
Mary
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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I have to give a six star for this heartbreaking and raw pleas to save young men from dying far too soon. Your words are beautifully penned to tell the pain of black children.
I grew up in a public housing project where supper was often ketchup sandwiches, but we had an area where they had large showers to play in and keep cool. In discussing growing up with A black friend who grew up just outside the projects, she showed me her life through her eyes growing up. She envied us "rich" white kids for having that shower in the summer. She often stood just outside watching us play.
Good luck in the contest.
Mary
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Mary you exceptional rating and heartfelt comments are appreciated.
Comment from judiverse
"Fractured Faith" is an excellent title. Great use of narrator. All praise to those grandmothers who try to raise the children with some hope and faith that they can have a better life. The words of MLK are also an inspiration to him. I read an article about Tamir Rice. It was a tragedy. Apparently, the police officer involved in the shooting was unstable and deemed unfit for service. He didn't seem to give much thought before shooting. The narrator's recollection of Tamir was really touching. He was so big he probably gave a wrong impression to the officers. I don't know whether things have improved since this incident. The police are under intense scrutiny now. Wonderful entry for the contest. judi
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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"Fractured Faith" is an excellent title. Great use of narrator. All praise to those grandmothers who try to raise the children with some hope and faith that they can have a better life. The words of MLK are also an inspiration to him. I read an article about Tamir Rice. It was a tragedy. Apparently, the police officer involved in the shooting was unstable and deemed unfit for service. He didn't seem to give much thought before shooting. The narrator's recollection of Tamir was really touching. He was so big he probably gave a wrong impression to the officers. I don't know whether things have improved since this incident. The police are under intense scrutiny now. Wonderful entry for the contest. judi
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Thank you, Judi, for your heartfelt and thoughtful review. There has been only marginal gains since this incident. I wanted to write this poem from the eyes of a child because their view of life is purer.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Hi, Sandra! This is deep in a cultural sense. I won't pretend to understand the feeling of being a black child growing up in fear and societal isolation and separation.
Your poem explains the looming threats, perhaps in Main's situation unbeknownst to him as an innocent child simply playing with his first BB gun.
I know people always say I can't imagine, and I am one of them. It takes poets and writers like you to bring it to the forefront and keep it there with these well-crafted writing pieces. Sensationally done and presented, my friend! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Hi, Sandra! This is deep in a cultural sense. I won't pretend to understand the feeling of being a black child growing up in fear and societal isolation and separation.
Your poem explains the looming threats, perhaps in Main's situation unbeknownst to him as an innocent child simply playing with his first BB gun.
I know people always say I can't imagine, and I am one of them. It takes poets and writers like you to bring it to the forefront and keep it there with these well-crafted writing pieces. Sensationally done and presented, my friend! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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John, thank you for your honest and heartfelt review. I appreciate your support of my poetry. I was born an old soul, and I pour my aches and pain into my writings.
Comment from Heather Knight
Whenever I see you've posted something, I rush to read it. I love your poetry and I wish I had six stars left for you.
Your poem is beautiful and heart-breaking. The world can be so unfair and humans so stupid...
I like everything you've written, even the alliteration in the title.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Whenever I see you've posted something, I rush to read it. I love your poetry and I wish I had six stars left for you.
Your poem is beautiful and heart-breaking. The world can be so unfair and humans so stupid...
I like everything you've written, even the alliteration in the title.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Heather, thank you for your generous comments and support.
