Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig

Excellent

This is a good entry into the Minute poem contest. The text is a great size for reading. I like it centered on the visual. With it being about spring, it would be good to have the text one of the lovely flowers' colors. The message is presented with clarity and is easily understood. The spacing of text in your poem box is imbalanced. Lessen the space one click at the top of your text to make it appear balanced in the poem box. I love your assorted flowers visual. It is lovely. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2023

Comment from Sally Law

Excellent

This minute contest is wiping me out! Then you go and add beautiful flowers to the mix! How gorgeous is this? I am reawakened too.

Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming vote.
Sal :))

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2023

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

I loved the sentiments and end rhymes, but the following lines are out of metre and will need to be adjusted for the contest as it states about, strict iambic metre, love Dolly x x x


Life's desire ever shines anew

Beauty admired

Sunlight lightens a golden day

Summer's soul mate

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023

Dolly,

Thank you for your review. I probably will never fully understand iambic meter. I've purchased books and researched numerous websites on google on writing in meter. I wish there was a club hosted by fellow Fanstory poets who are hilly skilled in writing in meter that I could join to learn to write in meter. My attempts to write in meter are consistantly incorrect. I still do not know how to correct the meter in these lines. I need help.

All the best,

Eugene

reply by Dolly'sPoems on 21-Mar-2023

Have you tried Pantygynts classes Eugene. His name is Jim and he runs classes on metre. Message him and he will help you x x. x

Iambic metre is achieved with the stress on the second syllable. Here is an example:

As LOVE brings FORTH great JOY and FUN,
to YOU I RUN;
with OPen ARMS
inTO your CHARMS

You can check the stress in a word on this website:

https://www.howmanysyllables.com/syllables/natural

Good luck

Love Dolly x

reply by Dolly'sPoems on 21-Mar-2023

The first stanza is perfect.

The second:

Desire in life will shine anew
rebirth with signs
trees fix attire
when all admired


Third stanza:

And sunlight on a golden day
drives gloom away
time celebrates
in summer, great!

Love Dolly x

reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023

Where do I find Pantygynts classes on Fanstory?

reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023

reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023

Dolly,

Thank you. I contacted Jim to ask where I can take classes on metre.

Eugene

reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023

Iambic metre is achieved with the stress on the second syllable. The stressed syllables are not clear. Which syllables are stressed in the line below:

And sunlight on a golden day

Per https://www.howmanysyllables.com/syllables/natural

Syllable stress: and
Primary syllable stress: sun-light
Secondary syllable stress: sun-light
Syllable stress: on
Syllable stress: a
Stressed syllable in golden: gold-en
Syllable stress: day

reply by Dolly'sPoems on 21-Mar-2023

and SUNlight On a Golden DAY

reply by Dolly'sPoems on 21-Mar-2023

I will contact him and ask him to get in touch with you, love Dolly x