In The Name Of The Son
Unconditional love of a mother6 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You will have immediately drawn the reader in with such a viscerally sensory introduction to the speaker: "You'll find me in your room, haggard, my eyes dry and burning." Great use of similes and metaphors and onomatopoeia and personification. A good question. Could it be a deterrent? Quite a twist: " A powerful grip pulls my hair, bends me over and yanks my head repeatedly." I worked at a psych/substance abuse unit in a psych hospital for 11+ years. This is a powerful account.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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You will have immediately drawn the reader in with such a viscerally sensory introduction to the speaker: "You'll find me in your room, haggard, my eyes dry and burning." Great use of similes and metaphors and onomatopoeia and personification. A good question. Could it be a deterrent? Quite a twist: " A powerful grip pulls my hair, bends me over and yanks my head repeatedly." I worked at a psych/substance abuse unit in a psych hospital for 11+ years. This is a powerful account.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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Hello again Liz,
I am so happy you found it good. And I thank you for the in-depth review and encouraging comments. Yes, addiction is a plague that is destroying our society.
Thank you so much for reading!!
I am still unsure whether I should post the whole crime story "Pluck The Day ", it's a 7500 words read, and I don't know if FS members would Read the entirety. Or should I post in in parts??
Would you please give me your thoughts?
Mario
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Post it in parts. I write and write, then divide my story up by 1000 words, finding a good spot to stop right around 1000 words. I don't do well with my ADD reading & holding onto much more. If is is over that on here, I just take my time & may have to reread parts. Did I tell you there is a tab on here where stories pay $1.00 so I can go on review those & have my $7 or $9 in no time. If you want more direction let me know. Ooof. I may have answered your question in more than a thousand words...lol
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Hi Liz,
You are precious, really. I think I'll do that way. And shockingly, I didn't know about the $1... so ,I would love to know more about it, if that's not taking too much of your time.
Thanks so much!!!
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You see all of the tabs at the top. There's some kind of flower thing, then a house, then My then Social etc. Do you see that?
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Yes I found that
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So wave your cursor over the house & click on word FanStory & the desired page will come up. Scroll to the bottom of the page to featured stories or keep going to other rewarded stories
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Oh, ok.... I did it!!! Yes, they are very worthy to review!!
Thanks so much for teaching me this, Liz...!!
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I'm paying it forward. I've had many kindness paid me on
here
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Ok, thanks a lot!!!
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***Hugs***
Comment from royowen
You say, after God, only a mother cares, which is not always the case of course, as an alcoholic who stopped drinking forty years ago, I think I might have loved my kids. They learnt to to be good mums and parents from their mother. It's a terrible world that world of addiction, this one turned out well, good writungm blessings Roy
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2023
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You say, after God, only a mother cares, which is not always the case of course, as an alcoholic who stopped drinking forty years ago, I think I might have loved my kids. They learnt to to be good mums and parents from their mother. It's a terrible world that world of addiction, this one turned out well, good writungm blessings Roy
Comment Written 29-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2023
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Thank you Roy, for your review. Yes it's a terrible plague
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Well done
Comment from Brittany H.
A beautifully written struggle with addiction between a caring family. The whole first passage where your mixing the imagination of playing with real settings was really well done and I loved it. Thanks so much for sharing this story it was very touching!
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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A beautifully written struggle with addiction between a caring family. The whole first passage where your mixing the imagination of playing with real settings was really well done and I loved it. Thanks so much for sharing this story it was very touching!
Comment Written 26-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for your in-depth review
Comment from judith layne jerdé
Wow, your words are over flowing with the fear and frustrations one feels when they're fighting the losing battle against alcohol and drug addiction when it has a hold on a loved one. The loneliness and grief is palpable. Very well done.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Wow, your words are over flowing with the fear and frustrations one feels when they're fighting the losing battle against alcohol and drug addiction when it has a hold on a loved one. The loneliness and grief is palpable. Very well done.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Really appreciate your review!!
Comment from prettybluebirds
There is sure a lot of emotion packed into this story. You must edit and remove a few computer glitches throughout the story. A bit more space between dialogue and paragraphs would also make this easier to read. The story itself is marvelous. It tells the story behind drug addiction that no one thinks or cares about.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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There is sure a lot of emotion packed into this story. You must edit and remove a few computer glitches throughout the story. A bit more space between dialogue and paragraphs would also make this easier to read. The story itself is marvelous. It tells the story behind drug addiction that no one thinks or cares about.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Thank you for your kind review. I used double-spacing on word, then edited with advanced editor, but still... I think it's time for FS to make it possible to just upload a PDF file onto the post.
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
Very powerfully written. You convey the power of addiction and its destructive influence on families! The use of the mother's voice is particularly effective.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Very powerfully written. You convey the power of addiction and its destructive influence on families! The use of the mother's voice is particularly effective.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Thank you so so much for your in-depth review.
Really appreciate it!!
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Besr wishes from UK
