The Dichotomy of Darkness
Taking the good with the bad5 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
This is heart-wrenching. Children should not have to feel it is safer to be outside their home. It has to be frightening to drive them out of the house in the dark. I was in fear they might not see their mother again, and what was she going through living with the monster and wondering about the safety of her children. And you indicate it is true. I am happy you survived.
Excellent writing.
I see this is your first post. Welcome to FanStory. I look forward to reading more of your work.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2023
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This is heart-wrenching. Children should not have to feel it is safer to be outside their home. It has to be frightening to drive them out of the house in the dark. I was in fear they might not see their mother again, and what was she going through living with the monster and wondering about the safety of her children. And you indicate it is true. I am happy you survived.
Excellent writing.
I see this is your first post. Welcome to FanStory. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for your kind feedback. Yes, we all survived, including my mother. She worked the night shift at the time. My step father was an alcoholic but we all escaped him. I feel nothing but pity for him now. He's broken and alone but he can't hurt us anymore.
Thank you for the kind welcome! I am very happy to be here.
Comment from Mary Shifman
Wow, this is an outstanding poem! Beautifully written with excellent rhyme and meter and wonderful imagery. It is sad and scary when children learn that the real darkness to be feared lies in the souls of those they should be able to trust. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Wow, this is an outstanding poem! Beautifully written with excellent rhyme and meter and wonderful imagery. It is sad and scary when children learn that the real darkness to be feared lies in the souls of those they should be able to trust. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for your feedback! I appreciate your kind words and input!
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You are welcome.
Comment from royowen
Oh yes indeed, it's funny but some children instinctively know, or at least they've been warned by some alert soul. This is a beautifully written, couplet rhymed post nicely paced with an articulate narrative, welcome to fanstory, good luck, blessings Roy
Typo : so this i can (s) say. Of mom(,) the park,
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Oh yes indeed, it's funny but some children instinctively know, or at least they've been warned by some alert soul. This is a beautifully written, couplet rhymed post nicely paced with an articulate narrative, welcome to fanstory, good luck, blessings Roy
Typo : so this i can (s) say. Of mom(,) the park,
Comment Written 26-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for the feedback and the typo notification! I appreciate your input!
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Good job
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Love your poem. It is true that many children do get kicked out of their home when there is alcoholism involved. In this poem, there was abuse and the mother was the one they waited for.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Love your poem. It is true that many children do get kicked out of their home when there is alcoholism involved. In this poem, there was abuse and the mother was the one they waited for.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for your feedback! You are right that our step father was an alcoholic. I'm surprised that you picked that up but I guess it makes sense. Again, thanks for the comment!
Comment from Nicki Nance
Telling this story through the lens of darkness adds an eerie dimension to its troublesome theme. Putting the worst of the darkness in the monster's cold chest was a great ending.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Telling this story through the lens of darkness adds an eerie dimension to its troublesome theme. Putting the worst of the darkness in the monster's cold chest was a great ending.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for your feedback! This was my first post and I am excited to be here!
