Crossroads
75 words12 total reviews
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Even when given the opportunity to repent, we often turn the other way. In this case, your character is doomed by the choice he willingly makes. This is a good flash. You draw us in immediately to the story.
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Even when given the opportunity to repent, we often turn the other way. In this case, your character is doomed by the choice he willingly makes. This is a good flash. You draw us in immediately to the story.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2023
Comment from Mia Twysted
I really like this piece. There is so much said about Robert, and he doesn't even say a word. It gives the reader something to think about and the things they have done in their life.
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I really like this piece. There is so much said about Robert, and he doesn't even say a word. It gives the reader something to think about and the things they have done in their life.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2023
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Good flash fiction entry for the 75 Word Story writing prompt contest. You followed the rules and developed an interesting story.
Good luck in the contest.
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Good flash fiction entry for the 75 Word Story writing prompt contest. You followed the rules and developed an interesting story.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2023
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Another hell story. I guess the last two stories were about not behaving and going toward hell. Seriously, did you forget that there is a God who does forgive. But if a person makes mistakes continuously, then He must rethink.
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Another hell story. I guess the last two stories were about not behaving and going toward hell. Seriously, did you forget that there is a God who does forgive. But if a person makes mistakes continuously, then He must rethink.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2023
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That must have hurt, to turn your back on God, is a no do! This is a story that many people in the world will find happens to them. We all need to reflect on what we do, and what we've done. This is a good moral story, all told in 75 words. Well done and good luck! :) Sandra x
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That must have hurt, to turn your back on God, is a no do! This is a story that many people in the world will find happens to them. We all need to reflect on what we do, and what we've done. This is a good moral story, all told in 75 words. Well done and good luck! :) Sandra x
Comment Written 20-Apr-2023
Comment from Mario PIERRE
Very interesting story, told in a subtle manner. The setting is nit apparent at first but this helps maintaining the suspense to the end.
Good luck for the contest!!
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Very interesting story, told in a subtle manner. The setting is nit apparent at first but this helps maintaining the suspense to the end.
Good luck for the contest!!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2023
Comment from K.I. Betancur
I would cut the dialogue a length, and add descriptions without giving too much away.
There's a bit too much dialogue in my opinion, it takes away from the story of it all.
Thank you for sharing, and good luck in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I would cut the dialogue a length, and add descriptions without giving too much away.
There's a bit too much dialogue in my opinion, it takes away from the story of it all.
Thank you for sharing, and good luck in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2023
Comment from Wendy G
If only we had the chance to be down there temorarily. But we only get one life to make wise choices for the next. Nevertheless this is a thought-provoking short story. Sending best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
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If only we had the chance to be down there temorarily. But we only get one life to make wise choices for the next. Nevertheless this is a thought-provoking short story. Sending best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 19-Apr-2023
Comment from pome lover
so Robert gets a reprieve after 5 years. I didn't know that's how it worked. I understand that time, outside of this universe, is different. Five years could be a lot longer for old Robert.
I'm just rattling on, thinking about your 45 word story and disingenuous Robert. The sign of a good story is when people think about it and its ramifications. Good job.
Katharine
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so Robert gets a reprieve after 5 years. I didn't know that's how it worked. I understand that time, outside of this universe, is different. Five years could be a lot longer for old Robert.
I'm just rattling on, thinking about your 45 word story and disingenuous Robert. The sign of a good story is when people think about it and its ramifications. Good job.
Katharine
Comment Written 19-Apr-2023
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Wow, that's a powerful little story contained so succinctly in this limited word writing prompt. This sentencing and the analogy with Hell is skilfully done, in my view, for maximum impact. Good luck, Debbie
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Wow, that's a powerful little story contained so succinctly in this limited word writing prompt. This sentencing and the analogy with Hell is skilfully done, in my view, for maximum impact. Good luck, Debbie
Comment Written 19-Apr-2023