Life's Sweetest Rewards
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Mystic Gaze"A collection of life's memorable cherished moments
4 total reviews
Comment from DeboraDyess
She is beautiful, Gene.
This poem is an eloquent praise song to her. And filled with love! It almost feels like a sonnet and flows well. I like the old-fashioned use of 'thee' in this!
Blessings,
Deb
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She is beautiful, Gene.
This poem is an eloquent praise song to her. And filled with love! It almost feels like a sonnet and flows well. I like the old-fashioned use of 'thee' in this!
Blessings,
Deb
Comment Written 27-Apr-2023
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Goodness, Eugene, well done on this sonnet! I wish I could do justice to them! It's sounding beautiful, almost Shakespearean. And the good thing about sonnets it keep your sentiments nicely compact which is when I think you're at your best. Thanks for sharing. Take care, Debbie
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Goodness, Eugene, well done on this sonnet! I wish I could do justice to them! It's sounding beautiful, almost Shakespearean. And the good thing about sonnets it keep your sentiments nicely compact which is when I think you're at your best. Thanks for sharing. Take care, Debbie
Comment Written 26-Apr-2023
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A beautiful write Eugene, elegant soft gentle words full of dedication and love, I adored the sentiments, the rhymes and the metre. Just two lines that are slightly out of metre, and I have some suggestions for you here;
Guiding my steps and lighting up my way.
suggestion for the sake of metre:
(your guiding steps are lighting up my way).
Like a bright, unquenchable, fiery star.
suggestion for the sake of metre:
(so bright unquenchable, my fiery star)
A magical and skilfully written sonnet, a joy to read, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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A beautiful write Eugene, elegant soft gentle words full of dedication and love, I adored the sentiments, the rhymes and the metre. Just two lines that are slightly out of metre, and I have some suggestions for you here;
Guiding my steps and lighting up my way.
suggestion for the sake of metre:
(your guiding steps are lighting up my way).
Like a bright, unquenchable, fiery star.
suggestion for the sake of metre:
(so bright unquenchable, my fiery star)
A magical and skilfully written sonnet, a joy to read, love Dolly x
Comment Written 25-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2023
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Dolly,
Thank you for the 6 star review. I appreciate your helpful reviews and suggestions. I'm actively working on learning to write in metre. Your review confirms I've made progress.
Cheers,
Eugene
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You are most welcome Eugene and you did a great job here, with your talented use of words learning metre will be the icing on the cake, I wish you luck, love Dolly x
Comment from Yardier
Nicely done, Bermy. 'Mystic Gaze' has many fine classical nuances without being rigid or stuffy. I suggest two minor changes: [with their deep] to [with deep] and [lighting up my way] to [lighting my way]
All in all, a very good work.
Yard
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Nicely done, Bermy. 'Mystic Gaze' has many fine classical nuances without being rigid or stuffy. I suggest two minor changes: [with their deep] to [with deep] and [lighting up my way] to [lighting my way]
All in all, a very good work.
Yard
Comment Written 25-Apr-2023
