Life's Sweetest Rewards
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The Wonders of the Night Sky"A collection of life's memorable cherished moments
6 total reviews
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
This is absolutely beautiful it has a great flow and rhyme. A breathtaking beauty, that can't be denied,
The night sky's aurora leaves one wide-eyed. Nice photo to compliment your words as well. Very nicely done.
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This is absolutely beautiful it has a great flow and rhyme. A breathtaking beauty, that can't be denied,
The night sky's aurora leaves one wide-eyed. Nice photo to compliment your words as well. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2023
Comment from l.raven
Hi Eugene, I love the sound of a quiet...
when everything turns peaceful...and as
you have described in your poem...amazing
the see and smell...every star puts on it's
own show...
I love your poem sweet guy...and soooo love the
picture...very beautifully written...Love Linda xxoo
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Hi Eugene, I love the sound of a quiet...
when everything turns peaceful...and as
you have described in your poem...amazing
the see and smell...every star puts on it's
own show...
I love your poem sweet guy...and soooo love the
picture...very beautifully written...Love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 26-Apr-2023
Comment from DeboraDyess
Hi Gene!
I am such a fan of the night sky. I live in a small town, so I know we don't see all the stars due to the lights but we see more than the city dwellers do. lol. I feel for them but miss the days when we lived away from everything and could see so many that it boggled the mind.
Love the poem! There are some comma splices that don't belong, usually in the middle of a phrase. Other than that, awesome!
Blessings,
Deb
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Hi Gene!
I am such a fan of the night sky. I live in a small town, so I know we don't see all the stars due to the lights but we see more than the city dwellers do. lol. I feel for them but miss the days when we lived away from everything and could see so many that it boggled the mind.
Love the poem! There are some comma splices that don't belong, usually in the middle of a phrase. Other than that, awesome!
Blessings,
Deb
Comment Written 26-Apr-2023
Comment from Tom Horonzy
You plant so many fertile seeds for thought, but sometime I assume you release pieces too soon. I know I let my work rest, and when I return I find things better to substitute. Same thing here, for example astral isn;t needed, it makes the syllabic counts too long. Most of your lines can be counted by nines, but more of them could be by eliminating prepositions like in para 1:
The night sky's a canvas painted bright, 9
With twinkling stars in colors so right, 9
A sight to behold, as hours go by, 9
Nightly wonders truly mystify. 9
Still, you have poetic license to do as you please. With me, there's is no ill intent intended. And lastly I would tighten each quatrain with smaller space between the lines. I'll gladly help if needed. Tom H
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You plant so many fertile seeds for thought, but sometime I assume you release pieces too soon. I know I let my work rest, and when I return I find things better to substitute. Same thing here, for example astral isn;t needed, it makes the syllabic counts too long. Most of your lines can be counted by nines, but more of them could be by eliminating prepositions like in para 1:
The night sky's a canvas painted bright, 9
With twinkling stars in colors so right, 9
A sight to behold, as hours go by, 9
Nightly wonders truly mystify. 9
Still, you have poetic license to do as you please. With me, there's is no ill intent intended. And lastly I would tighten each quatrain with smaller space between the lines. I'll gladly help if needed. Tom H
Comment Written 26-Apr-2023
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
A very beautiful descriptive poem. The image matches your words well and and your words dance ince and swirl as of in the sky. Good work! Best wishes! :)) Alex
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A very beautiful descriptive poem. The image matches your words well and and your words dance ince and swirl as of in the sky. Good work! Best wishes! :)) Alex
Comment Written 26-Apr-2023
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You brought my dull sky to life here with your magical words Eugene. I rarely see a sky as beautiful as the one described here, a pleasure to read, love Dolly x
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You brought my dull sky to life here with your magical words Eugene. I rarely see a sky as beautiful as the one described here, a pleasure to read, love Dolly x
Comment Written 26-Apr-2023
