Life's Sweetest Rewards
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Chrysalis"A collection of life's memorable cherished moments
3 total reviews
Comment from patcelaw
This is a beautiful poem. I love your presentation. It is so well done. I wish you the very best and all of your writing. May you have a blessed day in the Lord and keep writing. Patricia.
  |
This is a beautiful poem. I love your presentation. It is so well done. I wish you the very best and all of your writing. May you have a blessed day in the Lord and keep writing. Patricia.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2023
Comment from lancellot
This is very good and makes a great Spring poem. I would suggest maintaining the present tense throughout. Good work.
notes:
A chrysalis, suspended in the air,
-A chrysalis, suspends in midair,
A precious life, in slumber, bound,
-A precious life in slumber, I found,
Of the wonder awaited inside there,
-Of the wonder waiting inside there,
|
This is very good and makes a great Spring poem. I would suggest maintaining the present tense throughout. Good work.
notes:
A chrysalis, suspended in the air,
-A chrysalis, suspends in midair,
A precious life, in slumber, bound,
-A precious life in slumber, I found,
Of the wonder awaited inside there,
-Of the wonder waiting inside there,
Comment Written 27-Apr-2023
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Again, your chosen subjects are terrific. I love this piece and the accompanying photograph. I still think you'd be better served tightening the lines on each stanza. Good luck.
|
Again, your chosen subjects are terrific. I love this piece and the accompanying photograph. I still think you'd be better served tightening the lines on each stanza. Good luck.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2023
