Life's Sweetest Rewards
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "My Beloved"A collection of life's memorable cherished moments
3 total reviews
Comment from Julie Lau
Hello Bermy, This is a very lovely and loving love poem you have written as from one loving soul to another. I would like to suggest some changes in punctuation which could improve the flow:
Verse 1, line 2 replace the comma with a semi-colon
4 remove 1st comma, replace 2nd with a semi-colon
2 4 " "
3 3 remove comma after 'spirit'
4 remove comma
4 2,3,4 remove comma
A semi-colon allows for a slightly longer pause than a comma, which I feel is appropriate in some cases.
All the best for future writings, Bermy,
Yours, Julie
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Hello Bermy, This is a very lovely and loving love poem you have written as from one loving soul to another. I would like to suggest some changes in punctuation which could improve the flow:
Verse 1, line 2 replace the comma with a semi-colon
4 remove 1st comma, replace 2nd with a semi-colon
2 4 " "
3 3 remove comma after 'spirit'
4 remove comma
4 2,3,4 remove comma
A semi-colon allows for a slightly longer pause than a comma, which I feel is appropriate in some cases.
All the best for future writings, Bermy,
Yours, Julie
Comment Written 28-Apr-2023
Comment from patcelaw
This is a beautiful and well rhymed one that you have written to your love. I appreciate so much your wonderful words and how did they speak to your heart as well as I speak to ours. Have a good day and God bless. Patricia. Patricia
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This is a beautiful and well rhymed one that you have written to your love. I appreciate so much your wonderful words and how did they speak to your heart as well as I speak to ours. Have a good day and God bless. Patricia. Patricia
Comment Written 28-Apr-2023
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fine romantic and well worded write Eugene, this poem showcases your talent for words, metre and rhyme. A joy to read.
Just a few suggestions here for the sake of metre:
(Together (with) a future, that will be our own).
(The conversations in my heart, (will) keep going strong),
(In you, my love, I have found (a place) where I belong).
Love Dolly x
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A fine romantic and well worded write Eugene, this poem showcases your talent for words, metre and rhyme. A joy to read.
Just a few suggestions here for the sake of metre:
(Together (with) a future, that will be our own).
(The conversations in my heart, (will) keep going strong),
(In you, my love, I have found (a place) where I belong).
Love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Apr-2023
