Reviews from

The Piper

Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "The Piper, Part 48"
Young Adult Fantasy

11 total reviews 
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Debi,
A marvelous action packed chapter. I like the way Piper remembered to thank the bushes and the branch for their help.
Piper and flute can command or request help from nature. That is a very powerful weapon.
It takes a family, or a fellowship, but together Redd-Leif, Sheba, Piper,
the fae and even the words of master Crescendo help to defeat Burkehart, who is human, fae and troll.
But it is music, in the hands of a master that ultimately succeeds.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert

Now the healers, or maybe the music of Piper, or both will heal Sheba. :)




 Comment Written 25-May-2023


reply by the author on 27-May-2023
    Hi Robert,
    Thank you for the six stars and the marvelous comments. You have a way of picking up on things. Thank the bushes and plants is important. Yes, now somehow, we must save Sheba.
    I appreacite the wonderful synopsis and your insightful comments.
    Debi
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is the first chapter of your book that I have visited, Debi, so my comments will be based on that limited involvement.

I thought the writing was lean, and the pacing perfect to meet the events. I thought of the Ocarina of Time, and that was a good thing to illustrate the power of music. Piper is an apt name.

An enjoyable read tonight. :)

Gloria

 Comment Written 24-May-2023


reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Hi Gloria,
    Thank you for stopping in to check out this chapter, especially since the story is nearing its end. Not many readers will do that. I appreciate the comments abou the pacing and the writing. I had to look up Ocarina of Time. I've heard of Zelda, but never played any of the games. I may have to check into it more.
    Have a great day.
    Debi
Comment from Faith Williams
Excellent
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Another wonderful and enjoyable chapter. I particularly liked this paragraph:

'Boughs began thickening, lengthening, reaching to entwine with neighboring bushes. Roots tunneled deeper into rich soil. Leaves sprouted, unfurling into lush foliage. The line of bushes returned a sense of welcoming, a sense of purpose, a joy for life.'

Such a lovely way to describe nature. Again, with the strong verbs. Just amazing. I look forward to reading more chapters.

 Comment Written 23-May-2023


reply by the author on 25-May-2023
    Hi Faith,
    Thank you so much for the excellent review and the encouraging comments. I appreciate you pointing out the part you liked. I helps to know what works.
    Have a great day. I hope you are feeling better.
    Debi
Comment from Spitfire
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Your action scenes are so vividly written that it is easy to picture the wasps helping our hero. I really enjoyed the passage about using the sound of the flute to make the bushed grow and provide a safe landing.

 Comment Written 22-May-2023


reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Hi Shari,
    Thank you so much for the encouraging comments and the shiny six stars. I appreciate you pointing out the passage that you liked. It helps to know what works.
    Debi
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It's a good continuation. And the action and pacing are sound. But then things get predictable.

"The wasps should hold him for a few minutes until the enchantment wears off."

- Why not keep stinging him? This is a classic 'cliché' thing that happens in so many movies and stories. The good has the evil guy on the ropes, then... stops to escape. He doesn't finish the bad guy off, despite the bad guy trying to kill everyone. Then later... the bad guy returns. "Oh, who could've foreseen that?"

 Comment Written 22-May-2023


reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Hi lancellot,
    Thank you for the kind review and for your remarks about where the story is going. I appreciate you pushing me to do better. Thank you for pointing out how that particular dialog came across and where it led your thoughts. I took out the dialog in question.
    I appreciate you dropping by and reviewing.
    Debi
Comment from saipureddy chandrasekhar
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

because it exceeds my training data, which was last updated in September 2021, the content of a specific book or poem called "The Piper, Part 48." Without additional context or information about the author, it is difficult for me to provide any specific details or content regarding Part 48. However, it is possible that "The Piper" refers to a particular work or series. Feel free to ask if you have any additional inquiries or require assistance with a different subject!

 Comment Written 22-May-2023


reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Hi saipureddy chandrasekhar,
    Thank you for stopping by to read and review.
    Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

WOW is all I can say about this chapter, Debi. You did a great job and really kept the suspense going. Now I see why Piper didn't have access to his flute and when he did, had no interest in playing. It took the only family Piper really knew, except for his grandfather, to get the message to him that he was needed. He also relied on Master Crescendo's teachings about the flute and the relation to nature.

It all fell into place so easily, and you did a masterful job with the music and tones that were needed for each one that was in danger. The details that went through Piper's mind were also well done, and kept the suspense going, especially the part with the wasps.

I also liked how the flute came alive in Piper's hands and its relationship to nature that was also taught to him by MC. I didn't know that Piper had had guardian faeries, but I'm glad he did. This chapter shows how the good in people and things around us can make a huge difference in other people's lives. It is something everyone should take to heart. I can't say enough good things about this chapter. You really got to the heart of Piper and the flute and his love of his family.

You couldn't have done it better!!!!!!

 Comment Written 22-May-2023


reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Hi Pam,
    Thank you so much for your positive comments. Thank you for pointing out what you felt worked and what you liked. I appreciate you mentioning how things fell into place now that Piper has finally accepted his relationship with the flute. I'm glad you liked the wasps. It was another fear he had to overcome, but he called on them and it worked.
    I appreciate the continued support.
    Have a wonderful day.
    Debi
reply by Pam (respa) on 24-May-2023
    You are very welcome, Debi, and I am glad you liked my comments. Had Piper encountered wasps before? You are very welcome for the support. It is a wonderful story. Have a good evening and rest of your week.
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Hi Pam,
    In answer to your question about the wasps. Yes, Piper was required by MC to call a swarm of wasps and then release them as part of one of his lessons. It has been awhile. Chapter 39 (which posted in Sept 2020 so I don't blame you for not remembering) was where this happened.
    Piper has only called insects three times.
    1- Wasps during his lesson with MC , and Piper was really nervous to do it. It was on that same plateau where he is at present. MC took him there to get him away from the bees in his garden because Piper's playing was upsetting his honey production when the bees stopped to listen.
    2 - Piper tried calling butterflies on his own, but didn't know how to release them so he almost suffocated when they mobbed him. Butterflies were more dangerous than he thought.
    3 - And wasps now in this chapter as he tries to defend himself, Redd-Leif, the faeries and Sheba. He has more control--or thinks he does...
    Thanks for asking.

    Just a few more chapters. I'm thinking three, but it depends on how long the chapters get. I'll divide them if they get too long.
reply by Pam (respa) on 25-May-2023
    Thanks for sharing, Debi. I knew there was something with the bees but didn't remember wasps. Thanks for the refresher.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, this is action-packed! Am new here but your helpful notes have given me all the background so I'm pretty much up to speed. The whole narrative is alive with fairy dust and I enjoyed the pace and Piper's supreme powers with his flute, particularly in commanding the wasps to circle and attack Burkehart, Piper's nemesis right now. Thanks for sharing this story, so much fun for children as well as adults. Debbie

 Comment Written 22-May-2023


reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Hi Debbie,
    Thank you for the encouraging review. I appreciate the comments about the pacing of this scene and the fairy dust. I am so pleased that you enjoyed it.
    Debi
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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At least Redd-Leat is alive, rescued by the bushes that responded to the lilt of the flute playing enchantment, then the flute summons a swarm of wasps to occupy Burkehart as Piper makes his escape, but Sheba is wounded, can she be helped, beautifully written, blessings Roy

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 Comment Written 22-May-2023


reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Hi Roy,
    Thank you for the thoughtful synopsis and the encouraging comments. I appreciate you stopping by to read and review.
    Debi
reply by royowen on 24-May-2023
    A pleasure
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent
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This is quite the chapter, that Piper is able to flute a swarm of wasps into helping to protect himself and Sheba, etc.
Suggestion:
"You can't play forever elfling
I would say:
"You can't play forever, elfling
Hopefully Sheba will survive.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 21-May-2023


reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Hi CrystieCookie,
    Thank you for the thoughtful review and pointing out the missing comma. I made the correction due to your suggestion.
    Have a great day,
    Debi