The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 49 "The Piper, part 49"Young Adult Fantasy
12 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Another excellent story in this imaginative fairy tale with Piper as the main character. This time he has to try and save Sheba from the brutal injuries sustained at the hands of Burkehart. He is offered the Mage Flute but is only allowed to play soothing music such is the flute's power and the need for Sheba to retain her faerie integrity. The healers arrive and there is hope for Sheba. But there is more concern over Piper's influence over the wasps. This story reads fluently with good dialogue bringing the characters to life and a magical feel about the whole prose. There are some little edits: (staunch) the flow; para starting He stared at (healers not healer's); para third from bottom - (you're). Thanks for sharing this lovely, mystical tale. Debbie
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
  |
Another excellent story in this imaginative fairy tale with Piper as the main character. This time he has to try and save Sheba from the brutal injuries sustained at the hands of Burkehart. He is offered the Mage Flute but is only allowed to play soothing music such is the flute's power and the need for Sheba to retain her faerie integrity. The healers arrive and there is hope for Sheba. But there is more concern over Piper's influence over the wasps. This story reads fluently with good dialogue bringing the characters to life and a magical feel about the whole prose. There are some little edits: (staunch) the flow; para starting He stared at (healers not healer's); para third from bottom - (you're). Thanks for sharing this lovely, mystical tale. Debbie
Comment Written 07-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
-
Hi Debbie,
Thank you for the excellent review. I appreciate the analysis and the suggestions for change. It made me look up "staunch vs stanch".
I learned something so I thought I'd share.
I knew there were the two spellings. I thought one was probably British and one was American. I was wrong. According to Merriam-Webster they are interchangable, but "staunch" is usually used as an adjective while "stanch" is usually used as a verb. They even gave an example:
"A staunch friend would help me stanch my bleeding leg, and not spend all his time guzzling cocktails."
Thanks again for taking the time to review carefully and help me improve.
Have a great day.
Debi
-
Well thank you for that explanation. I'm sorry to have confused here. I've honestly not heard of stanch but have always considered staunch to be a verb. Well you live and learn. Take care Debbie
-
I'm glad you gave me that bump to look it up. I didn't know either.
Thanks again.
Comment from Faith Williams
'In Piper's hands, music has much more power than you might imagine.'
Even in our world, music is powerful, able to evoke emotions. Think how different movies would be without their soundtracks.
I love the descriptions in this paragraph: 'Mysterious, magical tones reached through the Mage Flute, coursed through Piper, and reached out to embrace Sheba. The music was unearthly, lyrical, hypnotic. Piper felt transported to another plane of existence. Flashes of pulsing, throbbing, stretching, contracting, entwining images flooded his vision.' Music, whether by the person playing it or the person hearing it, has the power to connect with someone's soul. You did an amazing job putting that connection into words.
One suggestion to consider: In the sentence, 'The bleeding slow.' I believe it should be, 'The bleeding slowed.'
A magical chapter, Debi. Though I am wondering about those wasps.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
 |
'In Piper's hands, music has much more power than you might imagine.'
Even in our world, music is powerful, able to evoke emotions. Think how different movies would be without their soundtracks.
I love the descriptions in this paragraph: 'Mysterious, magical tones reached through the Mage Flute, coursed through Piper, and reached out to embrace Sheba. The music was unearthly, lyrical, hypnotic. Piper felt transported to another plane of existence. Flashes of pulsing, throbbing, stretching, contracting, entwining images flooded his vision.' Music, whether by the person playing it or the person hearing it, has the power to connect with someone's soul. You did an amazing job putting that connection into words.
One suggestion to consider: In the sentence, 'The bleeding slow.' I believe it should be, 'The bleeding slowed.'
A magical chapter, Debi. Though I am wondering about those wasps.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
-
Hi Faith,
Thank you for the comments about music and its power. I agree, soundtracks add so much to movies. You can always tell the mood change in a scene when the music changes. Thank you for pointing out what you liked. It is always good to know what works. Thank you also for the suggestions from improvement.
Yes, what about those wasps?
I appreciate you stopping by.
Debi
Comment from Monica Chaddick
This is a very interesting segment of a story. In looking at your character descriptions, I wonder...is this at all related to D&D, by any chance? I ask because I play and in looking at your character descriptions, I see some familiar creatures. Also, the Mage Flute grabbed my attention. You have done a great job with your story, so far.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
|
This is a very interesting segment of a story. In looking at your character descriptions, I wonder...is this at all related to D&D, by any chance? I ask because I play and in looking at your character descriptions, I see some familiar creatures. Also, the Mage Flute grabbed my attention. You have done a great job with your story, so far.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
-
Hi Monica Chaddick,
Thank you for the interesting review. You have me wondering. The closest I got to D&D was as a teenager. A friend gave me the game, but my father, like a lot of parents at the time, thought D&D was evil. I don't know why. I never did get a chance to play it and have no idea where that game ended up. Sort of like some of the parents objecting when Harry Potter books were first out thinking stories about magic were evil before they even read them. I thought they were wonderful. They got kids to read again and use their imaginations.
All I can say is D&D creators must have done some of the same research I did. I like the ancient fairy tales and myths and that is what I have used as a basis for my story.
It is set in the 1200's in Germany. Many people at that time believed in fairies, trolls, evles, pixies, etc. We have changed how we represent some of them in modern times, such as elves being small when the older versions were more like the ones Tolkein used in his stories. Elves would have been taller than most humans.
So, I guess what I am saying is any similarity to D&D characters is purely coincidental. I may have to take a look at D&D again since it is now considered a classsic game. Too bad you don't live close. I wonder if anyone around here plays?
-
I was in the same boat as a child. My son is 31 and moved in with me after I lost my husband. I became almost agoraphobic, and my son INSISTED that I get out and do SOMETHING. He found a D&D group at the local mall and we are now in 2 groups (1 he runs) and have been playing for almost a year. We are opening an Etsy store to sell character sheets and dice towers. Sad that we don't live close, but there is a way you could play with us, anyway. There is a site where you could log in and play via the internet. That is what I have been doing lately due to a health issue. Just let me know if you are interested, and I would be more than happy to help you gain access to our group.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent story that is very well written and well thought out. The characters interacted perfectly throughout the piece!
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you and your family!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
|
Excellent story that is very well written and well thought out. The characters interacted perfectly throughout the piece!
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you and your family!
Comment Written 06-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
-
Hi Melodie Michelle,
Thank you for the encouraging comments and well wishes.
Debi
-
;-)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is another good addition to your previous posts. You are moving the story along at a very nice pace. Thank you for sharing it with us.
The music was unearthly, lyrical, hypnotic. (lyrical, and hypnotic)
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
|
This is another good addition to your previous posts. You are moving the story along at a very nice pace. Thank you for sharing it with us.
The music was unearthly, lyrical, hypnotic. (lyrical, and hypnotic)
Comment Written 05-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
-
Hi Barbara Wilkey,
Thank you for the encouraging review and the suggestion for improvement. I appreciate you stopping by.
Debi
Comment from rspoet
Hello Debi,
This a marvelous music-infused chapter bringing back many of the main characters, like Master Raven, Master Crescendo and Melodica.
Music can heal the soul and spirit, so why not heal a wound, especially when there is a Magic Flute.
I like the ending, the concern for what magic may have done to the wasps.
They too are a part of this magical world.
Six stars, like six tones from the Magical Flute, flashing from another plane of existence.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
|
Hello Debi,
This a marvelous music-infused chapter bringing back many of the main characters, like Master Raven, Master Crescendo and Melodica.
Music can heal the soul and spirit, so why not heal a wound, especially when there is a Magic Flute.
I like the ending, the concern for what magic may have done to the wasps.
They too are a part of this magical world.
Six stars, like six tones from the Magical Flute, flashing from another plane of existence.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 05-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
-
Hi Robert,
What a fun review. I love that you remember some of the main characters that haven't appeared for a few chapters, and recognize that all creatures are part of the magical world including those wasps. They are all part of the music.
I love the "six tones" comment.
Thank you so much. You brightened my day. Thank you for the six stars, too!
Debi
Comment from lyenochka
Loved it! Great chapter and it seems you are wrapping up with Piper learning that it's not his skill in music but his allowing the music/instrument to speak/heal/help through him. The music has made him an instrument. I also loved that that hunters could speak silently and Piper marveled because he speaks through songs. And he feels the connection to his real family in this great time of need.
One comment:
"You're doing, I assume." (Your)
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
|
Loved it! Great chapter and it seems you are wrapping up with Piper learning that it's not his skill in music but his allowing the music/instrument to speak/heal/help through him. The music has made him an instrument. I also loved that that hunters could speak silently and Piper marveled because he speaks through songs. And he feels the connection to his real family in this great time of need.
One comment:
"You're doing, I assume." (Your)
Comment Written 05-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
-
Hi Helen,
I'm so happy you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for the excellent analysis and for pointing out what you liked.
Thanks for the heads up on the SPAG, I thought I caught it earlier but will check on it again.
I appreciate the six stars to brighten my day.
Debi
Comment from Spitfire
What a cliffhangar. I was just thinking what a perfect way to trap someone--the wasps! And then Crescendo worries about the insects! What interests me the most however is his warning to Piper:
Whatever you do to mend her wolf body, you have no idea what it will do to her true self. We need to wait for the healers trained in treating enchanted beings."
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
|
What a cliffhangar. I was just thinking what a perfect way to trap someone--the wasps! And then Crescendo worries about the insects! What interests me the most however is his warning to Piper:
Whatever you do to mend her wolf body, you have no idea what it will do to her true self. We need to wait for the healers trained in treating enchanted beings."
Comment Written 04-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
-
Hi Shari,
Yes, it is hard to get away from wasps when the entire swarm is after you.
I am happy you caught the healing being something that needs special care. Just because Piper wants to help doesn't mean he should.
Thanks for the continued support.
Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
Another excellent chapter, Debi, and you don't miss a beat! It is full of suspense, enchanting music, and surprises. The faerie realm is well organized, and work as one. We could use some of that in the real world. Summerstorm and Sheba's fates are with those in the realm and the ones who can help appear at the right time.
Piper wants to help so badly, but there are concerns because Sheba isn't just a wolf, but also enchanted, and the wrong thing could be her undoing. It was wonderful to see M.C. He is such a good character and caring individual. Piper is honored, but also a bit taken aback about playing the Mage Flute. But it manages to send the right messages to Piper.
It is interesting that the hunters can communicate non verbally, and be efficient. They go where they are needed most, and various ones have jobs to do so that all who need assistance have it.
I like the ending very much as "Crescendo smiled in the knowing way of a wise master..."
It will be interesting to see what has taken place and how it is handled. Extra stars for M.C. for saying he is not interested in the captain.
Excellent chapter that I enjoyed very much.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
|
Another excellent chapter, Debi, and you don't miss a beat! It is full of suspense, enchanting music, and surprises. The faerie realm is well organized, and work as one. We could use some of that in the real world. Summerstorm and Sheba's fates are with those in the realm and the ones who can help appear at the right time.
Piper wants to help so badly, but there are concerns because Sheba isn't just a wolf, but also enchanted, and the wrong thing could be her undoing. It was wonderful to see M.C. He is such a good character and caring individual. Piper is honored, but also a bit taken aback about playing the Mage Flute. But it manages to send the right messages to Piper.
It is interesting that the hunters can communicate non verbally, and be efficient. They go where they are needed most, and various ones have jobs to do so that all who need assistance have it.
I like the ending very much as "Crescendo smiled in the knowing way of a wise master..."
It will be interesting to see what has taken place and how it is handled. Extra stars for M.C. for saying he is not interested in the captain.
Excellent chapter that I enjoyed very much.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2023
-
Hi Pam,
Wow, what a detailed review. I am so happy you enjoyed this chapter. I love the analysis, especially the comment about the real world working together. Yes, the power of the Mage Flute is scary, and those hunters have a great sign language. I'm delighted you liked the ending. I wasn't sure how people were going to react to MC being more concerned with the wasps than the captain, but he is who he is.
Have a great day.
Debi
-
You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Debi. I appreciate your reply. The captain isn't exactly a nice man, and since we don't know what the wasps were doing, he was still alive. I guess we will find out about the wasps next time. Loved the chapter!!
Comment from Ulla
Hi Debi, I'm trying to catch up with your story and although it's not an easy task, I think I may just get there. I will have to say that fantasy writing is not quite my thing, but something about the story intrigues me. All best, Ulla ')))
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
|
Hi Debi, I'm trying to catch up with your story and although it's not an easy task, I think I may just get there. I will have to say that fantasy writing is not quite my thing, but something about the story intrigues me. All best, Ulla ')))
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
-
Hi Ulla,
First, sorry for the delay in responding, it's been quite a week.
I am so impressed and a bit in awe that you would try to catch up with the story, especially in a genre that you don't normally read. I am honored that you would even consider it. There are only two or three chapters left--I'm workint on them now.
Thank you again. You comments have really brightened my day.
Debi
