Tanka Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 171 "Red Sunset"Romantic Tanka Poems
15 total reviews
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi MariVal,
this is one of your tanka poem that has the ability to hover over time with the image painted so deftly, it demands the reader to dive into painful waters to retrieve its purpose.
What it means could vary to what the reader seeks it to be. The metaphors are so, that the actuality of words sits in the beauty of its image... even though 'sunset' and not sunrise may have given the whole experience with your personification.
I read more within the story of it though... nothing to do with the sun, but more lingering like a vagrant, searching for the scraps of life within the echoes.
A truly beautifully crafted and presented tanka poem Gypsy Queen... yes, these poems sitting, suspended in minds eye stirring memories, causing one to think of it, the true experience birthing the author's mind to write such beauty and such sadness with a veiled ending.
To me, it took me back to your father... but the echoes stopped that thought in my tracks, as his echoes have rippled in an endless vibration... but for certain, the disappearance of love like a fading dream.
No matter, it is the fact that what you have written causes me to sit here dissecting, pondering, basking within its beauty allowing me to know it true worth.
Exceptional!
With our thoughts we create...
a palette of grief.
Warm regards,
James.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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Hi MariVal,
this is one of your tanka poem that has the ability to hover over time with the image painted so deftly, it demands the reader to dive into painful waters to retrieve its purpose.
What it means could vary to what the reader seeks it to be. The metaphors are so, that the actuality of words sits in the beauty of its image... even though 'sunset' and not sunrise may have given the whole experience with your personification.
I read more within the story of it though... nothing to do with the sun, but more lingering like a vagrant, searching for the scraps of life within the echoes.
A truly beautifully crafted and presented tanka poem Gypsy Queen... yes, these poems sitting, suspended in minds eye stirring memories, causing one to think of it, the true experience birthing the author's mind to write such beauty and such sadness with a veiled ending.
To me, it took me back to your father... but the echoes stopped that thought in my tracks, as his echoes have rippled in an endless vibration... but for certain, the disappearance of love like a fading dream.
No matter, it is the fact that what you have written causes me to sit here dissecting, pondering, basking within its beauty allowing me to know it true worth.
Exceptional!
With our thoughts we create...
a palette of grief.
Warm regards,
James.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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A palette of grief.... what a perfect quote for this tanka. I'm happy you like the presentation, I put a lot of work into it until is just what I want. With some poems it takes more time than the writing. But even with my words I aim to create a mental picture. That's why I love Japanese poetry so much. It's a perfect fit. I'm a amature painter so visual art comes natural.
I like sunset better, it goes better with the end of a relationship... father or ex-husband, both apply. Even your reviews are poetic, you use imagery too.
I put my heart and soul into my poetry so your wonderful review means a lot to me.
Besitos y abrazos, James
Gypsy Queen
"I have to face life with passion. I must rediscover the irresistible will to live and to love." - Andrea Gocelli
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That's why you are so respected as a wordsmith. Your attention to detail, your passion in excellence to your craft.
You do you, it's a perfect fit.
A need to hide who we are is born of fear of acceptance... another reason you fly above the flock!
Comment from Lisasview
First read of yours and I do really like it. Tanka is a form I have not tried yet...
I always love metaphors and you use them very well.
Thank you for sharing,
Lisa, new to this site
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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First read of yours and I do really like it. Tanka is a form I have not tried yet...
I always love metaphors and you use them very well.
Thank you for sharing,
Lisa, new to this site
Comment Written 09-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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Hello, Lisa, thank you very much for the review. Welcome to eFanstory, it's a great place to enjoy writing and learning. We are a good community, very friendly and kind. There are a few bad apples but not too many. Please, let me know if you have questions about the site or whatever. I teach Japanese poetry and have two Free clubs here that are a good place to learn.
Thank you very much for your kind review and feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from LateBloomer
Hi Gypsy, your poem is filled with high sensory appeal. I especially liked:
where I drown
in your absence ... so absolute
not even echoes left of you
(G, some times people have been gone for so long that it becomes difficult to truly remember them no matter how much you try or how much you love them.)
I like the red sunrise. We had a red sunset here in NJ because of all the fire smoke from Quebec. The air is smells like the fire is here. I don't know how the people of Quebec are surviving it.
Beautiful presentation. Well done. A pleasure to read. Xo. M
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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Hi Gypsy, your poem is filled with high sensory appeal. I especially liked:
where I drown
in your absence ... so absolute
not even echoes left of you
(G, some times people have been gone for so long that it becomes difficult to truly remember them no matter how much you try or how much you love them.)
I like the red sunrise. We had a red sunset here in NJ because of all the fire smoke from Quebec. The air is smells like the fire is here. I don't know how the people of Quebec are surviving it.
Beautiful presentation. Well done. A pleasure to read. Xo. M
Comment Written 07-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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Thank you, Margaret. :)
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Goodadvicechan
Pictures are well chosen for this poem.
We all learn something everyday.
Thank you for explaining what TANKA is. You have written five passionate lines to express your feelings.
Once again, thanks for sharing this one with us.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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Pictures are well chosen for this poem.
We all learn something everyday.
Thank you for explaining what TANKA is. You have written five passionate lines to express your feelings.
Once again, thanks for sharing this one with us.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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Thank you, chan. :)
Gypsy hugs
Comment from patcelaw
This is a beautiful poem, and it's wording. And also in your presentation. I enjoyed it very much. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. Patricia.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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This is a beautiful poem, and it's wording. And also in your presentation. I enjoyed it very much. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. Patricia.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much, Patricia, I appreciate the kind words and excellent five stars review.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
These are sad words of sorrow and grief as we mourn the dead as death is so very final and without our memories there is no trace of that person, a poignant write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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These are sad words of sorrow and grief as we mourn the dead as death is so very final and without our memories there is no trace of that person, a poignant write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much, Dolly, I appreciate the kind words and excellent five stars review.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from aryr
A great tanka, Gypsy. I appreciate your words, they meant a lot to me. The dual pictures were awesome, they gave strength to your words. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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A great tanka, Gypsy. I appreciate your words, they meant a lot to me. The dual pictures were awesome, they gave strength to your words. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 07-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback. Blessed be.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from barbara.wilkey
OUCH!!! There is so much pain and suffering and you nailed in this beautiful poem and package. The color scheme and the strong words you used are absolutely perfect.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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OUCH!!! There is so much pain and suffering and you nailed in this beautiful poem and package. The color scheme and the strong words you used are absolutely perfect.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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Barbara, thank you very much for the exceptional six stars review and kind words. It's always good to hear from you.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from royowen
Well done with this one, a really tanka with a great pivot, meritorious because it's quite short, the second two lines are really good too, great job dear girl, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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Well done with this one, a really tanka with a great pivot, meritorious because it's quite short, the second two lines are really good too, great job dear girl, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
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Most welcome
Comment from shelley kaye
this was a totally cool morning tanka!
awesome pictures and colours
excellent imagistic word choices with good flow
cool post!
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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this was a totally cool morning tanka!
awesome pictures and colours
excellent imagistic word choices with good flow
cool post!
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 06-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, exceptional six stars review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
