Summer Rain
With The Fresh Summer Rain Comes A Fresh New Day13 total reviews
Comment from Lisasview
Oh, such a lovely poem with such a lovely image...
Yes summer rain is wonderful!!!
Especially here in Spain
Best wish for the contest........
Lisasview, new to this site
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Oh, such a lovely poem with such a lovely image...
Yes summer rain is wonderful!!!
Especially here in Spain
Best wish for the contest........
Lisasview, new to this site
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thank you Lisa!!
Comment from Carlos' girl
This is very beautiful poetry that was written in a gentle, rainy reflection. I like the graphics that you chose as well. Your poem is luminous.
Xoxo
Judith
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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This is very beautiful poetry that was written in a gentle, rainy reflection. I like the graphics that you chose as well. Your poem is luminous.
Xoxo
Judith
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Hello Judith
Long time haven't heard from you!!!
Thank you so much for your kind review and for your generous 6-stars!!!!
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Most welcome. Stay well and keep in touch.
Judith
Comment from JSD
Oh, this was so good, until the last line. I love the movement and sound of the first two lines. I almost want 'wriggles' instead of 'ripples' in the second? But since you are clearly adept at the use of words and ideas, the last line is a bit of a cop out. Continuing the metaphor would be so much more effective. Sorry!
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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Oh, this was so good, until the last line. I love the movement and sound of the first two lines. I almost want 'wriggles' instead of 'ripples' in the second? But since you are clearly adept at the use of words and ideas, the last line is a bit of a cop out. Continuing the metaphor would be so much more effective. Sorry!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Thank you for your review. Can you please explain to me what warranted the 4 stars. If you look at the guidelines for awarding stars, 4-star would mean there's a mistake or typo which would require the author to rework.
Thanks
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Oh, I didn't know that. I will look again. Thank you. This is only my second day. However, as I say in my review, it was really good until the last line.
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I've looked again and it says 'adjustment needed'. I think my review is fair as the third line is so different to the first two. I don't for one moment want to cause upset though, so please let me know if you feel I am unfair. John
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The last line is the key to the two verses above. Why do the leaves sing and sway and why does the pond ripple? It's because of the joy of receiving refreshing summer rain. Without the last line, the poem doesn't have much meaning.
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The fact that your perception of the last line being not appropriate doesn't warrant for any 'adjustment '. You need to differentiate between your perception of what would be right and what actually is right in the mind of the author. For example, I would never use wiggle like you suggested, this doesn't mean that, if you used it and I thought: ripple would be better, that also wouldn't warrant an 'adjustment '. 4-star implies to make adjustment on Gramm, poor sentence phrasing, typos, etc. NOT to sanction an author's idea or flow. I don't mind positive and constructive critique, but when you critique without any sound knowledge on what you have as benchmark, then it's totally wrong.
I'll forward these communication to FS committee for arbitration.
Thank you
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Ok. I'm sorry. This is only my second day. And four stars is 'Good'.
Comment from royowen
I can remember a friend of ours who was contracted to work in dry, hot, dusty Dubai, heard we were heading to England's Lake District, she begged to come with us, she delighted in the water and summer rains she had missed so much. from where she'd come from, Beautifully written, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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I can remember a friend of ours who was contracted to work in dry, hot, dusty Dubai, heard we were heading to England's Lake District, she begged to come with us, she delighted in the water and summer rains she had missed so much. from where she'd come from, Beautifully written, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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Thank you Roy, for your very kind review!!
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Most welcome
Comment from Andrea Kepple
I like the images you conjure with the words you chose to use in your poem. I like the image of leaves singing in the rain. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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I like the images you conjure with the words you chose to use in your poem. I like the image of leaves singing in the rain. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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I thank you for your kind review and wishes, Andrea!!!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We never mind a shower or two in the summer when we have the promise of sunshine on another day. The rainfall feeds the flowers and keeps everything green and I loved your fine words here for the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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We never mind a shower or two in the summer when we have the promise of sunshine on another day. The rainfall feeds the flowers and keeps everything green and I loved your fine words here for the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 12-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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Hello Dolly,
Thank you again for your beautiful review!!!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 Poem writing prompt contest.
I like the presentation too. Concrete images easy to visualize.
Good syllables count and connection between lines.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 Poem writing prompt contest.
I like the presentation too. Concrete images easy to visualize.
Good syllables count and connection between lines.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 12-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much Gypsy!!!
Comment from LisaMay
I like the movement your words evoke, with good choice of verbs. Just wondering about the white space at the top of the illustration, plus I also think it is unnecessary to have each word beginning with a capital letter in the last line... and also in the line above the main title.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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I like the movement your words evoke, with good choice of verbs. Just wondering about the white space at the top of the illustration, plus I also think it is unnecessary to have each word beginning with a capital letter in the last line... and also in the line above the main title.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much, Lisa... I will correct illico!!!
Comment from Wendy G
Love this one with its excellent presentation, and the feeling of movement and dance, along with the pleasure of nourishment. Very thoughtfully created. Best wishes.
Wendy
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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Love this one with its excellent presentation, and the feeling of movement and dance, along with the pleasure of nourishment. Very thoughtfully created. Best wishes.
Wendy
Comment Written 12-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much Wendy!!
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Exceptional poem for the 5-7-5 Poem writing prompt and best of wishes in the contest my friend!
Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you and your family!
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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Exceptional poem for the 5-7-5 Poem writing prompt and best of wishes in the contest my friend!
Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you and your family!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much Melodie, for your generous 6 stars and so encouraging review!!!
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;-)
