A Mother's Love
A mother gives everything and forgives everything21 total reviews
Comment from Lisasview
I love this story....simply wonderful in everyday...
Myths can be great and good use for a story themselves.
I can not wait to tell this story to my husband.......
Thank you so much for sharing it with us......
Lisasview, new to this site
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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I love this story....simply wonderful in everyday...
Myths can be great and good use for a story themselves.
I can not wait to tell this story to my husband.......
Thank you so much for sharing it with us......
Lisasview, new to this site
Comment Written 19-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Hello Lisa,
Welcome to FS and thank you for your kind review. I hope we will meet often on this exciting forum...
Mario
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For sure that would be great!
Shall we be fans?
Lisa
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I enjoyed this 200 word flash. Well written and structured so that the whole prose is neatly rounded, this story skilfully incorporates a myth which, though far-fetched, carries a very strong message of maternal love. Good luck in the contest! Yours is looking a strong contender. Debbie
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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I enjoyed this 200 word flash. Well written and structured so that the whole prose is neatly rounded, this story skilfully incorporates a myth which, though far-fetched, carries a very strong message of maternal love. Good luck in the contest! Yours is looking a strong contender. Debbie
Comment Written 18-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Hey Debbie,
Thank you so much for your in-depth review and kind words!!! It means so much to me. Right now, I'm trailing third or fourth... crossing fingers.
Have a blessed day!!!
Mario
Comment from Paul Manton
Thank you for retelling this legend, Mario. Do you believe it's true? As a writer, you really have to, in order to convince your readers. That's why we construct virtual universes which allow everyone to suspend their disbelief.
Your device of telling this as a duologue works well, and draws us in at ground level - so, the punch line, when it comes, is a real surprise. Difficult to make this believable in flash fiction, and you have done really well.
Paul
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Thank you for retelling this legend, Mario. Do you believe it's true? As a writer, you really have to, in order to convince your readers. That's why we construct virtual universes which allow everyone to suspend their disbelief.
Your device of telling this as a duologue works well, and draws us in at ground level - so, the punch line, when it comes, is a real surprise. Difficult to make this believable in flash fiction, and you have done really well.
Paul
Comment Written 18-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Thanks so much for your great review, and to your question.... I believe that the bond of the womb is extraordinary and can never be lost.
Thank you, you are encouraging me to write better!!!
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Every success in the future.
Paul
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In case my first reply didn't arrive, I wish you every success in your future writing, Mario.
Paul
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Thank you so much, Paul.
I replied to the review, I hope you received it.
Have a great day!!
Mario
Comment from Begin Again
Myth or not, it's a beautiful thought. I believe most mothers would put their children's wants and needs before their own. They feel the pain and ache when their child is suffering too. Well done!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Myth or not, it's a beautiful thought. I believe most mothers would put their children's wants and needs before their own. They feel the pain and ache when their child is suffering too. Well done!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much for your review!
Comment from Goodadvicechan
The picture was cute.
What a lovely story to prove a pint. Although mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship may not be the best, it is too cruel to ask her heart.
Nothing can best a Mother's love.
Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
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The picture was cute.
What a lovely story to prove a pint. Although mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship may not be the best, it is too cruel to ask her heart.
Nothing can best a Mother's love.
Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 16-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much for your kind review!
Comment from Teri7
This is a very interesting and well written fiction story. You used very good descriptive words that really true to a certain degree. There is no other love like a mother's love, other than the Lord, God. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
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This is a very interesting and well written fiction story. You used very good descriptive words that really true to a certain degree. There is no other love like a mother's love, other than the Lord, God. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 16-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
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Thank you Teri, for your encouraging review !!!
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is an interesting story that I have never heard before. It proves the initial point you made about a mother giving everything and forgiving everything. However, the final two lines are confusing, as it is difficult to figure out who is speaking.
"A myth!" Mocked Walter. (Who said this)? "Who could testify to that?"
"I can. You see, that man... was me." (Did Walter ask who could testify)?
Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
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This is an interesting story that I have never heard before. It proves the initial point you made about a mother giving everything and forgiving everything. However, the final two lines are confusing, as it is difficult to figure out who is speaking.
"A myth!" Mocked Walter. (Who said this)? "Who could testify to that?"
"I can. You see, that man... was me." (Did Walter ask who could testify)?
Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
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Thank you for your kind review and for pointing out the last lines dialogue. "A myth," Mocked Walter, ( so it's Walter speaking), and he continues: "who can testify to that... " because the dialogue is on the same line, it is evident that it's still Walter continuing.
Of course, the next dialogue line would be by the other person.
You know, at some point I added the name ( Walter) to the 2nd line ( " I can, Walter...etc", but it made the story 201 words, a d FS committee asked me to edit the story to exactly 200 words...
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading and want to wish you luck with the contest.
On FanStory you need to physically put in the paragraph breaks and each person speaking gets their own paragraph.
"Are you hurt, son?" It said. (lower case 'it' on 'it')
"A myth!" Mocked Walter. "Who could testify to that?" (lower case 'm' on 'mocked)
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading and want to wish you luck with the contest.
On FanStory you need to physically put in the paragraph breaks and each person speaking gets their own paragraph.
"Are you hurt, son?" It said. (lower case 'it' on 'it')
"A myth!" Mocked Walter. "Who could testify to that?" (lower case 'm' on 'mocked)
Comment Written 16-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much for your kind review and editing, Barbara. I will go do it as soon as I get to my computer.
Thank you again!!!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A Mother's love is unconditional unlike this girl he was marrying who had conditions to her love, a poignant write Mario and I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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A Mother's love is unconditional unlike this girl he was marrying who had conditions to her love, a poignant write Mario and I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Hello Dolly,
Thanks so much for your kind review and for the wishes!!!
Comment from JSD
Wow! Really effective. So short and yet you convey so much in this little tale, right down to the two spine-tingling twists at the end, after such a gentle opening. Really gripped me. Thank you.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2023
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Wow! Really effective. So short and yet you convey so much in this little tale, right down to the two spine-tingling twists at the end, after such a gentle opening. Really gripped me. Thank you.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2023
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Thanks
