Return To Concorde Valley
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Return to Concorde Valley"Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
23 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I will eventually catch up with you. This is nice. I think I read one of these before. You write with true feelings for the world your characters are in. I am going to read all of it. Karen
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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I will eventually catch up with you. This is nice. I think I read one of these before. You write with true feelings for the world your characters are in. I am going to read all of it. Karen
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Awww, thank you Karen. I?m excited that you?re reading the back chapters. How fun!
I appreciate your time and comments, my friend,
Rhonda
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I am reading. :-)
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Yay!!!
Comment from Jay Squires
What a great entry for this contest, Rhonda. I think I remember reading a frontier story by you, didn't I -- back before you left for hiatus? I enjoyed it. But you have a real gift for writing stories for children. You get right in their heads and you don't talk down to them. Your prose is easy to read, but as with ALL good, easy-to-read prose, this has its own depth ... and you are quite comfortable navigating that territory.
"Mine's Anthos." Okee- dokes! The mystery's solved. Only, I do think you should go back to Chapter 3 and clarify the two names for him. And I'd like to know what advantage it is to go from one name to the other. Just a gut feeling, Rhonda.
After dinner, I'm digging into chapter two. This is fun reading!
Jay
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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What a great entry for this contest, Rhonda. I think I remember reading a frontier story by you, didn't I -- back before you left for hiatus? I enjoyed it. But you have a real gift for writing stories for children. You get right in their heads and you don't talk down to them. Your prose is easy to read, but as with ALL good, easy-to-read prose, this has its own depth ... and you are quite comfortable navigating that territory.
"Mine's Anthos." Okee- dokes! The mystery's solved. Only, I do think you should go back to Chapter 3 and clarify the two names for him. And I'd like to know what advantage it is to go from one name to the other. Just a gut feeling, Rhonda.
After dinner, I'm digging into chapter two. This is fun reading!
Jay
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Jay, thank you for going back to read, and then review is a bonus.
I've written several books on here, including the Daredevil Girls and the Humanity Project. That was a while back, wasn't it. You've written a few yourself, my friend!!
I do need to revisit the name issue.
Again, this means a lot to me for you to review!!
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The Daredevil Girls! The sisters. The mother, the school, the earthquake? The haunted house. Yes, I do remember that one.
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Ahhhh, yeah, that's the one.
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
A great first chapter and introduction to the main characters. Excellent writing skills. You leave the reader wanting to know more. Hmmmm, what might this other (Theo's) society be like?
Awesome!
Gale
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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A great first chapter and introduction to the main characters. Excellent writing skills. You leave the reader wanting to know more. Hmmmm, what might this other (Theo's) society be like?
Awesome!
Gale
Comment Written 28-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Hi again, Gale. You read both chapters, thank you!!!
For the moment, the other world remains a mystery, but, as you can guess, the two worlds will get together eventually, or a part of them anyway.
Thank you so much!!!!!
Rhonda
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The pleasure was all mine :)
You're so welcome.
Comment from w.j.debi
The characters are charming, but oh, poor Echo. Will anyone even be looking for her after the loss of the house and her family?
There are all sorts of ways this story could go. It will be interesting to see what you do with it.
This looks like it will be a fun fantasy. Kudos for joining this contest. I thought about it, but didn't want to do 2000 words. Best of luck. I see the committee is still reviewing it. I hope you win.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2023
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The characters are charming, but oh, poor Echo. Will anyone even be looking for her after the loss of the house and her family?
There are all sorts of ways this story could go. It will be interesting to see what you do with it.
This looks like it will be a fun fantasy. Kudos for joining this contest. I thought about it, but didn't want to do 2000 words. Best of luck. I see the committee is still reviewing it. I hope you win.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much for your review, my fellow fantasy lover. I actually didn't notice it was 2,000 word requirement until Sally pointed it out. I had to scramble to reach the numbers. I'm about to post another chapter, but not nearly as long, lol.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
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You are welcome. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment from Sally Law
This is magnificent, my friend. Sad, heartbreaking, and believable. I'm thinking the children have both died and are in an alternate place. Human eyes couldn't see her for one, and I think she'd died in the flames. Their souls are seeking solace together.
Sorry to be so late with my sixes, but only a six will do. Sending you my best today as always and my very best for the upcoming contest.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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This is magnificent, my friend. Sad, heartbreaking, and believable. I'm thinking the children have both died and are in an alternate place. Human eyes couldn't see her for one, and I think she'd died in the flames. Their souls are seeking solace together.
Sorry to be so late with my sixes, but only a six will do. Sending you my best today as always and my very best for the upcoming contest.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thank you for waiting on my chapter, Sally, and thank you for the 6 stars.
You put a lot of thought into the review, dear friend, and have some great ideas.
Both kids are alive, though, Theo belongs to a very secret place that will be revealed later.
Thanks, again, and I look forward to your next chapter,
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Lisasview
Wow, weeee...Can not wait to see where this is going... A book for all ages... I suspect.
Nicely written ....... reads quite smoothly....really liked it....
The very best of luck in the contest.............
Lisasview, new to this site.........................
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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Wow, weeee...Can not wait to see where this is going... A book for all ages... I suspect.
Nicely written ....... reads quite smoothly....really liked it....
The very best of luck in the contest.............
Lisasview, new to this site.........................
Comment Written 24-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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Hi Lisa,
I?m so glad to meet you!
It is, actually, designed to be a book for all ages. I teach high school and tried to aim for young adult, but I?ve had older crowds like the clean aspect, lol.
Thanks so much,
Rhonda
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was a lovely first chapter, Rhonda, and I just know it's going to carry on and be a fabulous story. That boy's ability to climb trees and leap across to the next trees sounds like a child of Tarzan. I like his world with no computers, televisions, phones, etc. That was what this world was like when I was a child and it was a much nicer world. Well, my friend, I absolutely loved this introduction into your wonderful world of innocence. Good luck in the contest! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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That was a lovely first chapter, Rhonda, and I just know it's going to carry on and be a fabulous story. That boy's ability to climb trees and leap across to the next trees sounds like a child of Tarzan. I like his world with no computers, televisions, phones, etc. That was what this world was like when I was a child and it was a much nicer world. Well, my friend, I absolutely loved this introduction into your wonderful world of innocence. Good luck in the contest! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 24-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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Sandra, it?s good to hear from you, my friend, and I?m so pleased you took the time to carefully review the chapter. You captured the heart of the story. I hope you are able to follow the rest of it, and I promise shorter chapters. This one was long because of contest rules.
Take care,
Rhonda
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I will be sure to follow your story, Rhonda, its such a captivating start. It's so nice to see you back again. xx
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Hugs
Comment from evilynne
That is a great opening chapter for a book, very imaginative and well written. I certainly look forward to the next chapter, if one is forthcoming. Best of luck in the contest! Evi
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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That is a great opening chapter for a book, very imaginative and well written. I certainly look forward to the next chapter, if one is forthcoming. Best of luck in the contest! Evi
Comment Written 23-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
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Thank you for your awesome review, Evi! I do plan to add more to this book, and am super happy you took time to look in on it.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from jim vecchio
Very interesting read! My wife's name was Rhonda, and about the age of your character, her family suffered a devastating fire, also. You made me curious about what will happen next. I hope Theo is a good friend!
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
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Very interesting read! My wife's name was Rhonda, and about the age of your character, her family suffered a devastating fire, also. You made me curious about what will happen next. I hope Theo is a good friend!
Comment Written 22-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
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Theo is a great friend, or will be. That's a strange coincidence about your wife, my name and the fire event. It might have been a pretty heavy topic for a first chapter, but the rest of the book is effected by it.
Thanks for the read and review, Jim,
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very nice story. Well written.
"They went to visit my aunt. She lives in Atlanta."
"That's not too far away. Will they be home soon?" - Something in between with respect to where Grandparents live?
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
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Very nice story. Well written.
"They went to visit my aunt. She lives in Atlanta."
"That's not too far away. Will they be home soon?" - Something in between with respect to where Grandparents live?
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
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Hi Wayne,
Thanks for the review and suggestion. You know, I wasn?t terribly happy with that part, either. I?ll fix it right away!
