The Camping Trip
A mother has a recurring nightmare15 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
That would be one dream I wouldn't want to have. You told Ruth's dream well, with her emotions, her dread felt as I read. A sad return from this camping trip for Ruth. Nicely done Mario.
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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That would be one dream I wouldn't want to have. You told Ruth's dream well, with her emotions, her dread felt as I read. A sad return from this camping trip for Ruth. Nicely done Mario.
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 18-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Sorry for being so late to thank you!!
Comment from LJbutterfly
Dreams can be frightening, and you wrote this one with detailed mystery. You led the reader to believe Jonas was alive and well when he squats beside Ruth and tells her to stop crying. The surprising twist at the end tells the reader Ruth has had a realistic nightmare. Well done.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Dreams can be frightening, and you wrote this one with detailed mystery. You led the reader to believe Jonas was alive and well when he squats beside Ruth and tells her to stop crying. The surprising twist at the end tells the reader Ruth has had a realistic nightmare. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thanks for your encouragement!!!
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Your first paragraph is a god one. The reader will be peeking out the tent opening too. Most times, people don't pay attention when it is real. This story had a surprising twist.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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Your first paragraph is a god one. The reader will be peeking out the tent opening too. Most times, people don't pay attention when it is real. This story had a surprising twist.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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Hello Liz,
Thanks so much for your review and for the generous stars!! Really appreciate it!!
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***well done***
Comment from Paul Manton
Dear friend, This is a very powerful and unsettling story, which is frightening enough to belong in the 'Horror' genre - but is also a well constructed representation of dream state.
The clever twist you have given us here is, which of the various possible realities is the real one - and it is so labyrinthine, it feels like a form of schizophrenia.
As I consider all you've written here, the real nightmare for me is its circularity; even in the reveal at the end, I am not 100% sure that I have got to the end and into the light. This could all go round again - but, in fact, that is exactly what you have told us is happening to this poor mother.
Very frightening. I won't read it again. Therefore, very successful.
Paul
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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Dear friend, This is a very powerful and unsettling story, which is frightening enough to belong in the 'Horror' genre - but is also a well constructed representation of dream state.
The clever twist you have given us here is, which of the various possible realities is the real one - and it is so labyrinthine, it feels like a form of schizophrenia.
As I consider all you've written here, the real nightmare for me is its circularity; even in the reveal at the end, I am not 100% sure that I have got to the end and into the light. This could all go round again - but, in fact, that is exactly what you have told us is happening to this poor mother.
Very frightening. I won't read it again. Therefore, very successful.
Paul
Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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Oh my goodness, Paul. You have analysed this story so so well, and it's as if you have read into my mind. You know, after posted it, I really did want to pull it out because of the horror I had created. But, as you might agree, sometimes, as writers, we have to cross some barriers and go over some taboos.
I really appreciate your in-depth review, Paul.
Sincerely!!!
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You're welcome. I hope this never happens to any of us.
God bless.
Paul
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very creative. Very believable. Excellent work.
This is a piece I could vote for. Good work.
You make us believe that only the boy, Isaiah died in the dream.
I like what you did.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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Very creative. Very believable. Excellent work.
This is a piece I could vote for. Good work.
You make us believe that only the boy, Isaiah died in the dream.
I like what you did.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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You always see right through my stories, Wayne, and I like your genuine and invaluable reviews. Thank you for that!!
About the voting, you said you 'could' have voted for it, so I guess you already cast your vote somewhere else. LOL
Have a Happy Canada Day, my friend!!
Comment from Lisasview
Oh I found this so good and oh so disturbing...You might be able to write a longer short story using this...
Dreams can be scary....
Lisasview, new to this site
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Oh I found this so good and oh so disturbing...You might be able to write a longer short story using this...
Dreams can be scary....
Lisasview, new to this site
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Hey Lisa, my dearest fan!!!
Thanks for the kind review!!!
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Yes, I am a fan and you are welcome..
Lisa
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❤️ you Lisa!!!
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Now that is cute!! You are so welcome...
Lisa
Comment from PENofFIRE
A well-written story. I hope it was fiction. Truth hung heavy on her mind causing her to dream her dream. Under the circumstances, I would say she will be having many more nightmares.
A few minor details: In the third paragraph, the first sentence, "She sits upright as if propelled by a spring." Was that a bed spring? Perhaps she could have sat upright propelled by "fear."
It would be easier to read with double lines between paragraphs. Best wishes in the contest.
Blessings,
Pen
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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A well-written story. I hope it was fiction. Truth hung heavy on her mind causing her to dream her dream. Under the circumstances, I would say she will be having many more nightmares.
A few minor details: In the third paragraph, the first sentence, "She sits upright as if propelled by a spring." Was that a bed spring? Perhaps she could have sat upright propelled by "fear."
It would be easier to read with double lines between paragraphs. Best wishes in the contest.
Blessings,
Pen
Comment Written 28-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much, Pen, for the invaluable review and the generous stars!! I will definitely look into the third paragraph!
Thanks again!!!
Comment from Wendy G
An excellent story albeit a very sad one. You described everything with clarity and such realism - but I hope it wasn't based on reality. Best wishes for your story in the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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An excellent story albeit a very sad one. You described everything with clarity and such realism - but I hope it wasn't based on reality. Best wishes for your story in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 28-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Thanks so much for your generous stars and review, Wendy!!!
It's pure fiction, Thank God!!!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I couldn't figure out if this was a recurring nightmare or reality here, which ever it is, this story is terrifying and I think every Mother has nightmares about losing their children as we are so very protective of them, a fine post for the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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I couldn't figure out if this was a recurring nightmare or reality here, which ever it is, this story is terrifying and I think every Mother has nightmares about losing their children as we are so very protective of them, a fine post for the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 28-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Hello Dolly,
Thanks for your review and generous stars. It was a nightmare about what actually happened at the camp, that is the death by drowning of her Don and husband. She woke up in her bedroom and the only thing left of her 2 family members is the picture hanging on the bedroom wall.
Comment from royowen
Isn't that reassuring? I know that this dream is very similar to one's I have heard of. Particularly children, it's a amazing thing, we simply don't know what lies beyond the veil, especially if you believe there is life after death, like I do, beautifully written, imaginatively scribed, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Isn't that reassuring? I know that this dream is very similar to one's I have heard of. Particularly children, it's a amazing thing, we simply don't know what lies beyond the veil, especially if you believe there is life after death, like I do, beautifully written, imaginatively scribed, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 28-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Thanks Roy, for your encouraging review!!!
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Most welcome
