Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Well done for a clever use of rhyme to create cohesion in your verse. Do you mean a non-Jewish person in "gentile" in the first stanza? To be honest I would have appreciated notes here. My own interpretation is that this is a very poignant comment on child abusers who so often go unreported out of fear for the consequences... In which case I find this an emotive and heartfelt verse. Please let me know if I'm off-message here. Good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023

The mistake was pointed out by another as well. I did not and I have rewritten the last two lines in the first stanza. No I did not intend for that but I love that people see their own image and vision of my writing. I like to hear about it and then I get to look at my work through your eyes. I will do better and try to include more notes though because I do enough reading them myself.

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

Ha, ha, very funny story, and I do hope the crocodile was fake news:) I think you have a winner here. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest and your writings

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023

Thank you I am so glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from K.O. Wilson

Good

I liked the examination of the internal and perceptual tug of war that is happening here, as this person prepares for others to deal the fate card. It's a little liner, not a bad thing as it helps the reader follow the grieving process.

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023

Thank you

Comment from Raul1

Excellent

This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It's beautifully written. The sentences flow with clarity. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Thank you for sharing! Good luck!

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023

Thank you

Comment from JSD

Excellent

I like the rhyme very much. It adds to the beat and fire of the poem. I hate to say this though but the word 'gentile' does not mean what you want it to mean. You want 'genteel' but that doesn't rhyme. I'm so sorry! Can you find an answer?

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023

Thank you so much for noticing that. I believe I have fixed the issue and I think it works better this way. I would love to hear what you think of the correction.

reply by JSD on 10-Jul-2023

That looks perfect. Well done. X