These old bones
A Kyreille for the Potlatch CLub26 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I gave you a 26!!! We of a certain age, are constantly bombarded with rude aches and pains. We are told we have "Golden years" coming to us. When do they come exactly? I haven't seen them! Karen
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2023
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I gave you a 26!!! We of a certain age, are constantly bombarded with rude aches and pains. We are told we have "Golden years" coming to us. When do they come exactly? I haven't seen them! Karen
Comment Written 14-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2023
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Karen, I thank you! I pray that your weekend continues to unfold most wonderfully,
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Comment from Eleri
This is a great idea for a kyrielle and I like the repeated line.The rhyming is generally good but I find your use of crossbones and bones and sawbones and bones a bit grating as you are effectively using the same end rhyme word, ie bones. I admit that there are not that many things that rhyme with bones other than zones, stones, hormones, unknowns and clones, but I think that the poem would have been better if you had used one of them, ie 'with lotion full of strange unknowns' and 'flushing pills filled with hormones'. These are not good alternatives but you get what I mean. Finally I don't quite get why you miss the sky in line one when you are out. I am probably missing something obvious though so please ignore this comment if I am being stupid.
Eleri
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2023
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This is a great idea for a kyrielle and I like the repeated line.The rhyming is generally good but I find your use of crossbones and bones and sawbones and bones a bit grating as you are effectively using the same end rhyme word, ie bones. I admit that there are not that many things that rhyme with bones other than zones, stones, hormones, unknowns and clones, but I think that the poem would have been better if you had used one of them, ie 'with lotion full of strange unknowns' and 'flushing pills filled with hormones'. These are not good alternatives but you get what I mean. Finally I don't quite get why you miss the sky in line one when you are out. I am probably missing something obvious though so please ignore this comment if I am being stupid.
Eleri
Comment Written 04-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2023
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Eleri, thank you! Your preception is laudable and appreciated.
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
I got a big smile from your wanderings, perhaps because I have some old bones of my own! Also, I'm more than a little familiar with the pills for the aches in them!
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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I got a big smile from your wanderings, perhaps because I have some old bones of my own! Also, I'm more than a little familiar with the pills for the aches in them!
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Verna, as always, thank you.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent entry for the "the kyrielle" event in "Put Pen To Paper Potlatch Poetry Club". Best of wishes in the contest event my friend;-)
Thanks for sharing this well written piece with us and may God bless you;-)
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Excellent entry for the "the kyrielle" event in "Put Pen To Paper Potlatch Poetry Club". Best of wishes in the contest event my friend;-)
Thanks for sharing this well written piece with us and may God bless you;-)
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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May Oeqce be with you, as well! Thank you.
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;-)
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This poem in the kyrielle form seems to point out through the speaker's voice that age affects one's ability to appreciate or even look high up to see the sky. When walking, it may be necessary to look for stones and obstacles or just concentrate on putting one's feet where they should go. Those of us over age fifty are going to appreciate this poem more as time goes by.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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This poem in the kyrielle form seems to point out through the speaker's voice that age affects one's ability to appreciate or even look high up to see the sky. When walking, it may be necessary to look for stones and obstacles or just concentrate on putting one's feet where they should go. Those of us over age fifty are going to appreciate this poem more as time goes by.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Thanks for your reflection on this Kreille poem about challenges of aging.
Comment from Sally Law
Oh my! A lot of aching going on here on FanStory today. I get a massage once a month regardless. It's the one thing I afford. It really helps with aches and pains. Stretch morning and night and take a warm shower or bath before bed. A soak with some essential oils or Epson salts is healing.
Sending you my best for this marvelous Kyrielle too. ;))
Sal xo
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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Oh my! A lot of aching going on here on FanStory today. I get a massage once a month regardless. It's the one thing I afford. It really helps with aches and pains. Stretch morning and night and take a warm shower or bath before bed. A soak with some essential oils or Epson salts is healing.
Sending you my best for this marvelous Kyrielle too. ;))
Sal xo
Comment Written 02-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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Sal, I love this remedy and thank you!
Comment from BermyBye50
JLR,
This is a brilliantly written Kyreille for the Potlatch CLub. You are the master of this form. Your rhymes are excellent and flow perfectly from the first stanza to the last.
All the best,
Eugene
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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JLR,
This is a brilliantly written Kyreille for the Potlatch CLub. You are the master of this form. Your rhymes are excellent and flow perfectly from the first stanza to the last.
All the best,
Eugene
Comment Written 02-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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Eugene, I am so very grateful to you for your kind words.
Comment from Ulla
Yes, elderly people will often miss their surroundings, because they have to mind every step they make for fear of falling. As people generally get very old, and I mean very old, where I live I see them stopping to take in the beauty surrounding them before they carry on their hesitant walk.
Thanks for sharing this beautifully written poem. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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Yes, elderly people will often miss their surroundings, because they have to mind every step they make for fear of falling. As people generally get very old, and I mean very old, where I live I see them stopping to take in the beauty surrounding them before they carry on their hesitant walk.
Thanks for sharing this beautifully written poem. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 02-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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Ulla, as I am entering my winter stage of life, I am filled with abdundant gratitide for the times we live in with so many amazing medical advancements to keep us going stronger longer ... I m getting a knew knee at the end of the month and will be glad for it!
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I can understand that. I know quite a few who have had a new knee and doing so very well with it. It's amazing what the advances of medicine can do for us. Ulla:)))
Comment from Wendy G
Your theme is very relatable. Older people do tend to have the head down and watch every step, and need to because the ground can be so uneven so yes, the beauty of the sky may be missed. It's a fine kyrielle, sharing life as one ages. Well done.
Wendy
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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Your theme is very relatable. Older people do tend to have the head down and watch every step, and need to because the ground can be so uneven so yes, the beauty of the sky may be missed. It's a fine kyrielle, sharing life as one ages. Well done.
Wendy
Comment Written 02-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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Wendy, thank you for your comment and consistent positive support, I hope this finds you are yours in top shape as your winter mo the surge forward.
Comment from JT traveller
You are such a talent. Thank you for sharing these poems with us mere mortals. Beautifully crafted and full of emotion. Getting older is the pits. But then I remember, some of us are not lucky enough to reach old bones. Jacqueline
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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You are such a talent. Thank you for sharing these poems with us mere mortals. Beautifully crafted and full of emotion. Getting older is the pits. But then I remember, some of us are not lucky enough to reach old bones. Jacqueline
Comment Written 02-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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jacquel8;e, your words are so validating. I agree we whom are entering into, our winter seasons of life should be so grateful for the remarkable medical advancements that side us in longer more productive and active lives.
