A Natural Wonder
Powerful4 total reviews
Comment from tempeste
Ciao !
When I went to bed last night I had 1/2 an idea to enter this contest but I have changed my mind. I'll save my money ( biggrin)
It's hard to beat your entry
( I like the fog entry too even if Iâ??m not certain if it really qualifies )
Your wee poem speaks about the food chain:
grass
grasshopper
frog
snake
eagle
Is a classic example.
Prey are the lower forms , predators the meat eaters are the ones on the top.
The death of one provides food for another.
Referring to us
When we died we could provide nutrients for new life too .
I like this new method using Biodegradable burial pods.
Our loved one is place in a pod and buried and a tree grows on top.
All our nutrients would sustain new life.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023
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Ciao !
When I went to bed last night I had 1/2 an idea to enter this contest but I have changed my mind. I'll save my money ( biggrin)
It's hard to beat your entry
( I like the fog entry too even if Iâ??m not certain if it really qualifies )
Your wee poem speaks about the food chain:
grass
grasshopper
frog
snake
eagle
Is a classic example.
Prey are the lower forms , predators the meat eaters are the ones on the top.
The death of one provides food for another.
Referring to us
When we died we could provide nutrients for new life too .
I like this new method using Biodegradable burial pods.
Our loved one is place in a pod and buried and a tree grows on top.
All our nutrients would sustain new life.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023
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I like the pod idea. First time I heard of it. Really, you are too kind with the stars. Thank you.
Comment from Katie Mae Dead
Hi poet.
This is lovely and i commend you for trying to get it so short but check the prompt requirements. You must have the short-long-short pattern. May I suggest changing your second line into a two-syllable word or use two 1 syllable words.
As far as using bzzzz as a word, although it's not really a word I don't have a problem with that. The Contest committee might, I don't know. I've never encountered something like this before.
You can easily fix this and I'll come back an re-rate you.
Luv & stuff,
Katiemaedead
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
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Hi poet.
This is lovely and i commend you for trying to get it so short but check the prompt requirements. You must have the short-long-short pattern. May I suggest changing your second line into a two-syllable word or use two 1 syllable words.
As far as using bzzzz as a word, although it's not really a word I don't have a problem with that. The Contest committee might, I don't know. I've never encountered something like this before.
You can easily fix this and I'll come back an re-rate you.
Luv & stuff,
Katiemaedead
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
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That's OK. The prompt indicates 3 lines. I'm good with whatever you wish to rate it. No big deal
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You created this writing prompt. Do what you want. The Haiku sets up the Satori perfectly.
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That is certainly fine. Ultimately it is your choice of course.
Luv & stuff,
Katiemaedead
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I succumbed
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"Never give up. Never surrender " ~ Captain Kirk from the TV show Star Trek. Relax.. You have the makings of a great haiku here
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Thanks
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Well the voting certainly didn't reflect the merits of shortness. I have grown tired of these contests when originality and creativity excel within the prompt and often times give way to who's who. Not your issue but it certainly lessens one's enthusiasm to participate. Just saying.
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and BTW, if you wish to change your rating as suggested, then the 6-stars I received and deserved will be reflected. Just me venting today. Nothing personal.
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One more thing, you gave a 4 star because it fell short of the prompt, no pun intended, yet entries that placed fell long on the prompt. You were either looking for the shortest Haiku or you weren't. I continue to vent.
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Your corrected the prompt requirements of making the pattern short-long-short so I upgraded your ratting to 5 stars.
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku, A Natural Wonder, has the proper formatting and seems to present the circle of life in the scenario of bug meets bird, bird eats bug..............................................................................
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
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This haiku, A Natural Wonder, has the proper formatting and seems to present the circle of life in the scenario of bug meets bird, bird eats bug..............................................................................
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
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That's it. Thanks Bill
Comment from JSD
Excellent. If the competition is judged on brevity, you win. Well done. Three syllables tell a perfect story. So impressive. All the best of luck in the competition.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
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Excellent. If the competition is judged on brevity, you win. Well done. Three syllables tell a perfect story. So impressive. All the best of luck in the competition.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
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Very much appreciated.
