My hope
a fictional take on things in the present and future5 total reviews
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is an excellent poem. I enjoyed reading it. Your entire presentation is good. You use descriptive words that draw in a reader and made him or her think.
Best wishes! Alexandra
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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This is an excellent poem. I enjoyed reading it. Your entire presentation is good. You use descriptive words that draw in a reader and made him or her think.
Best wishes! Alexandra
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Alexandra. Heard that it was too wordy. What you think?
I want to improve is all. But I find that words repeated or emphasized can be boring...lol!
Comment from jim vecchio
Excellent words! We all could stand correction, and may it start sat me, but it saddens me that in the forties, people defended one another and helped the persecuted so much more than today. Years of affluence have taken their toll on us, when it should be the other way around. One question: The lines: "Through years of elaborate planning And programming." did you mean to use those words twice?
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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Excellent words! We all could stand correction, and may it start sat me, but it saddens me that in the forties, people defended one another and helped the persecuted so much more than today. Years of affluence have taken their toll on us, when it should be the other way around. One question: The lines: "Through years of elaborate planning And programming." did you mean to use those words twice?
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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Yes I did, sometimes in the midst of our happiness, there are those who would sow sad destructive measures under our noses.
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Those words worked well; I just wondered.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Things need to be said over and over. Even if people do not listen we need to say it. But it was a lot of scrolling for a thought piece.
Good writing. Necessary subject.
Karen
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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Things need to be said over and over. Even if people do not listen we need to say it. But it was a lot of scrolling for a thought piece.
Good writing. Necessary subject.
Karen
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Karen. Will work on shorter pieces. Will give a warning next I do that.
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Or, less space between lines, or left margin and longer sentences. Or, turn your thoughts into a prose piece. Several ways to do it.
You write well, we are only talking format. When I first got here, sometimes I felt I was getting pecked by ducks, but my writing has improved, and I am winning contests, and getting awards. All because of the helpful people here. so, keep writing, I will keep reading. Karen
Comment from JSD
Long. And a bit wordy. You sort of say the same thing a number of times. Sorry. I prefer my poetry a bit more economically expressed - but who cares what I think. The line before mustard seed needs a 'have', does it? And later you have an 'amd' instead of 'and'.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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Long. And a bit wordy. You sort of say the same thing a number of times. Sorry. I prefer my poetry a bit more economically expressed - but who cares what I think. The line before mustard seed needs a 'have', does it? And later you have an 'amd' instead of 'and'.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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Thank you for your rating. I will work on shorted pieces if possible or give a warning somehow... :) I do care what people need to say, helps improve my craft...if I can work towards that..lol. It is the repetition that gets us. These 'programmers' have caught on that repetition leads to numbness.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a plea for some calm admin the chaos that seems to have taken over in some parts of the world and we all want some peace and tranquility, a fine post Mick, I enjoyed the sentiments here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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This is a plea for some calm admin the chaos that seems to have taken over in some parts of the world and we all want some peace and tranquility, a fine post Mick, I enjoyed the sentiments here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Dolly for your feedback. It is always welcomed.
It is sad that we must state the reason for calm when they all want a blood thirst. Sigh, anyways, I digress. Have a good week! :)
