Comment from Michelle D. Carr

Excellent

This had a great ending to prepare for the next series. You described the hero well. I think it takes great imagination and will do well with readers of a certain age. Good luck with this book.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023

:) Thank you! This story is directed toward the elementary to middle-school age readers. Your supportive rating is very encouraging. Thank you!

reply by Michelle D. Carr on 05-Sep-2023

I must be young at heart!! Lol

Comment from JSD

Excellent

An exciting and intriguing episode that certainly makes the reader want to the story to carry on. Authentic dialogue and interesting ideas. Well done and keep going!

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023

Thank you! Your review is encouraging and is helpful for me to carry forward. I try to keep the dialogue as realistic as possible.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

So happy to see you back, Euell ! Hope I got your name right. It's been such a long time!

I loved this sentence: "He feels his soul hemorrhaging slowly under the knife of humiliation, a familiar feeling from his childhood, leaving a scent for the demons of depression to follow."

You cover the emotion so well as well as bring up the past childhood experiences that still haunt. And yet we are attracted to this innocent character who refers to a Spiderman book to guide his view of love.

I should had done something (should have)

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023

Hello, Helen! Thank you. It was a welcoming feeling to read your message once again. I was sidelined with life...my mother passed away two years ago and had to deal with depression, raising a family and a lot of sibling tension. My writing had not been on top of my to-do list for a long while. But, I'm trying my best to stay focused. Thank you for your continued encouragement. I needed this mental boast to carry forward with this story.

reply by lyenochka on 05-Sep-2023

Glad you came back and hope you will have time for creativity. I'm sorry to hear about your mom. My dad passed away last year. But as I'm so much older than you, my parents are much older. I'm sorry about the problems with your siblings. Hope it can be peacefully resolved. 💖🙏

Comment from Alexandra Trovato

Excellent

Very good story. I particularly like reading the inner thoughts of Eli. Every reader will be able relate to the authentic character profiles that you build in this story.

One note in a sentence:

His response is as awkward as his perspective of the world and how one should co.

(I'm not sure how that sentence ends. I think it must be a typo?)

Excellent writing overall. Best wishes!

Alexandra

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023

Thank you! I try to keep the story as realistic as possible since there are subject matter that tend to spark skepticism. Your review is very encouraging and helpful for me to carry forward. Thank you!